{"text":" Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the way E.K. Podcast.  My name is Zenya and I'm here with Michelle.  Hey guys, Michelle's on the couch. Michelle's wearing a cap.  Michelle is in the vibes.  Cheers.  She's living her patterned life.  And today we are here with a very special guest.  We had joined with the wonderful, amazing, fantastic DeBora.  Let's go.  Yay, what an intro, thank you.  You're welcome. I thought to just set you up for the win  and to name as many adjectives as I could.  But I feel like maybe I missed out some more.  The talented, you know, the mighty woman of God,  the amazing, the courageous, the strong, the bold.  Hey, I received it.  I'll give you the ring if you want.  Give me the ring.  Give me the ring.  Bro, I feel like I'm feeling blessed.  I received it in Jesus name.  We are so happy to have you with us because  guys, we're going to be getting into DeBora's story,  her testimony, who she is, what she does.  Some of you may have known her.  You may have seen her before.  But yeah, we're so excited to hear about what God's been doing in you  and how God's been using you to help other people in their faith.  So that's how it's been.  I thought it would be great to start and chat about like, what did you do?  Because I feel like you live quite a unique life.  Like what you do is very interesting and very different.  So just give us like a little, what did you do?  Maybe give us like a typical day in your life as well.  You know what, that's a hard one because every day looks so different.  So what I do is that I'm a faith-based content creator.  So I get to go online and speak about Jesus.  So share the word, share the light of Christ in the dark space  that the internet is, which is such an honor.  I never planned to do this.  I never wanted to do this.  I don't know, it's so crazy how it came about.  But yeah, that's what I spend my days doing.  So what the content I create is that I do kind of Bible study type of video.  Sit down, sharing about just life experiences that we walk through  to encourage other people in knowing that they're not alone.  Because I think that's a big thing that in our walks with Christ,  we can feel alone so quickly.  And I think that's what the enemy wants as well.  So yeah, that's a type of content that I do and then also vlogs.  So like every day lifestyle, what a life with Jesus looks like  to encourage people that life with Jesus is not boring.  Because that's what I thought for a long time.  So yeah, that's kind of it in a nutshell, to be honest.  Super encouraging.  I feel like when I first stumbled on you  is on the video that you made about your testimony  when you're getting your home that you live in right now.  That video, like it was in my recommended for like all weeks.  Now I was like, what was this video about?  And I clicked it and I listened to it and I was like, wow, like,  you've just got such a talent with communicating.  And I think you speak in a way that's so relatable.  I think like, well, you were talking about how Christian he's not boring.  Like you could be a Christian and smile and enjoy your life.  But I used to think the same thing.  And I used to think like, I don't see anybody else  that is living this thing out like at our age or whatever.  And I feel like you live in a way that's so like encouraging  for others to know that, you know, if you can do it, we can do it too.  So yeah, I just wanted to encourage you on that.  Oh, thank you.  Thank you.  I think that's the heart behind it as well.  Because yeah, like I mentioned for a long time,  I thought that life as a Christian was boring.  And that's why I mean, I'm maybe getting ahead of myself a little bit.  But that's why I kind of walked away from the faith  because I was looking at everybody around me in the world.  And I thought, oh, they're living this great life.  I'm missing out.  But yeah, long story short, the Lord just showed me that, no,  Jesus came that we may have life and have it to the full.  And that's what I get to experience now.  So really encouraging other people our age in that  is kind of the heart behind what I get to do.  And yeah, so thank you.  Thank you.  That's what I hope that it comes across as.  So that's great to hear.  I think that's really encouraging.  There's so much power in when somebody sees somebody online,  like saying that I actually recognize that you can feel alone in this,  but you're actually not.  And that we're all doing this together as a community.  And not only do I feel seen by watching your video,  but I also feel seen by God and the community around me  that they were doing this all together.  And this Christian walk isn't just this constant high,  but actually it comes in seasons and waves of it being high and low.  That's true.  And to be able to be with each other,  to encourage each other and that is such a gift.  But you briefly mentioned how you sort of stepped away from God.  What is the story, but behind that and before?  You know, even coming to Jesus.  Yeah, good question.  I guess like condensed.  So I'm from the Netherlands.  That's why my accent is a bit weird.  I grew up in quite a small town over there  and I grew up in a single parent's Christian household.  So I was brought up going to church and hearing the word of God.  And that's kind of where my foundation was laid  for which I'm so grateful.  But a big part of what I walked through  is that I got bullied a lot in school.  So I always felt very alone.  And I felt like in a way I was not wanted.  Like I grew up without my dad.  So I think these things left quite an impact,  obviously, as it would on someone.  Something that I can see is that I don't know where this comes from,  but I always wanted to get out of my hometown  and move to like a bigger city and kind of...  I don't want to say achieve great things  because that sounds quite cringey.  But I don't know if you girls can relate.  Like just getting out of your hometown  and like, you know, doing something else,  like not following the status quo in a way,  but I didn't know what that looked like.  So then fast forward to the end of high school,  I did not know what I wanted to study.  I'm a creative, but like creatively,  it's not really encouraged by a lot of adults  to like go do something creative.  Like a stable job, you know?  So I ended up doing a gap year  and I came to London on that gap year.  Yeah, and then I ended up...  I did end up going to university here.  I ended up going to...  It's called BIM London.  So it's like a music.  Yeah.  It's just school.  So I went there for vocals.  I wanted to be a singer-songwriter again,  but it's like, hello.  It's an important part of my testimony  that I wanted from a young age.  I wanted to be a singer.  That was like, yeah, I think the main thing.  And while I was at university,  that's kind of where I was surrounded  by people living a different lifestyle.  And I'm sure that more people our age can relate to this,  that yeah, you're seeing people do something else  than what you're used to.  And I felt like this good Christian girl  who hadn't experienced anything in life.  And it just seemed like I was missing out,  which, to me, I think is such a big trick of the enemy.  Like, if we look at the Garden of Eden,  that's what his whole plan was to make Eve recognize that.  Yeah, they had everything, but what about that thing?  You don't have that, though.  And I think that's what the enemy does in our lives  over and over in different packages in different ways.  So I can see how that's what he did with me.  You know, I had the Lord,  but all these other things in the partying in the lifestyle.  Like you're missing out, you're missing out.  So what I also could see is that I started to, again,  you know how I mentioned that I got bullied in school  in university.  I could kind of start that, see that starting again,  that people could see that I didn't want to go to the parties.  I didn't want to drink and do all of these things.  So I remember that people called me boring.  And I think that triggered something of like,  nope, I'm not going to be this girl again.  This is not going to happen.  Forget this.  Like what did a good Christian girl life in a way get me?  It didn't get me anything.  Goodbye, I'm leaving.  And that's where, unfortunately, I kind of took away,  away from the Lord and just, yeah,  followed that lifestyle that everybody seems to be living.  I don't know if you girls can relate to this.  Like, you know, that feeling of missing out.  And then, yeah, that feeling of wanting to fit in.  Yes, and wanting to be accepted,  because you've gone through your holes of school journey,  of not having that.  Yeah.  And then being like, okay, well, uni is a fresh start.  People don't know me.  People don't know where I've come from.  So that's it.  Like you're not surrounded by your parents and that safety guy.  So you kind of feel like you could do what you want to now.  So, yeah, I went astray.  And I think also a big part of the things  that I walked to was to try and get validation  for the fact that I didn't have my dad growing up.  You know, a father figure is so important in the child's life.  And I try to make up for that by getting validation from guys.  And I wanted to be seen as like the it girl kind of  because I never was that.  So I was trying to make up for things  that I missed out on in my childhood.  And I mean, that's a very slippery slope  because whenever you try to get validation outside of God,  you're not like, it's not going to work.  It's always going to leave you empty again  and like you have to try again.  And yeah, it was just quite a mess.  So, yeah, I straight away from the Lord  in that way for a few years.  And then I had to come to a place where I hit rock bottom  quite hard.  And I think God does that sometimes to gracefully break us.  I don't think that God longs to hurt us.  But I do think we can sometimes be so stubborn  that there's no way for us to return back to him  unless he takes things away and kind of breaks us down.  So he can build us back up again.  So yeah, that's the point that I reached  where I hit rock bottom and then long story short,  that's where, like the prodigal son,  you know, we all know this story so well.  I realized, okay, I have nothing.  Maybe now I should return to God and go knock on his door,  which I think is quite sad that we have to get to a place  where we have nothing else before we go to God.  Like, think about it, that's such a last choice thing to do  to return to someone when you have nothing else left.  It's like, now I'll go home, it's so sad.  But God is so kind and gracious and loving  that he does not turn us away in those moments,  but that he's already, you know, like in the story  of the prodigal son, as our good father,  he's already waiting for us down the road  with his arms wide open.  So that's what I got to experience as well.  And I'm so grateful for it.  I would not be here today if God did not give me a second chance.  So I think that's like everything condensed right there.  Yeah.  So good.  And I think like, I think about the,  I think about this a lot, how, you know, when we grow up,  we have these like big dreams, like big aspirations.  I want to do this, this and that.  And we, we crave for that independence  at like a really young age, like we all want to grow up  so quickly, we want to grow up fast  because we think like, when I'm 18,  like that's when I'll have like the freedom  and I have like the stuff that I can really want,  like I can have my own phone, like I can have my own friends,  I can have my own car, like I can do whatever I want.  But actually, like when we get the thing  and when we get the freedom,  sometimes we're not equipped enough to deal with that.  And we don't have the tools to stew with that very well.  And I think that's how I felt like  when I got to university, I was like,  I finally like, this is my time to build myself, make myself.  And it's funny how you talked about like in the,  like God can almost take things away to break things down  and then you realize how much like you really need him.  Like in that season of being away at university,  that was the time where God was able to show you  that you actually needed him.  And I think sometimes like we often do it like isolation,  but sometimes isolation can be the making of you.  Like when you're actually away from everything that you know,  you have nothing else to lean on,  but like your own faith, what do I believe?  Like what is my relationship with God?  And that gets exposed.  But actually it's not a thing to like make you feel bad  or make you feel shame.  It should actually be an invitation for you  to realize I desperately need God.  And I need to go back to him.  Yeah, I don't know.  There's something about like the running away from like  what we know and what's comforting to us,  whether it's your hometown or whatever.  Because we think that that's the thing that will make us  better or like give us everything we need.  But actually it's one where alone and when we're by ourselves,  if we realize actually I need God more than I ever thought I did.  And I'm listening to your story  and I'm realizing that's very similar to mine.  Yeah, actually I've so similar.  I think we can all relate like being a young adult,  we want independence, we want to be by ourselves.  But then when we are by ourselves,  we realize actually independence is not the answer.  The answer is God.  Actually need to be dependent.  Like it's independence isn't the thing I need.  I need dependence on God.  Yeah, I don't know.  I think that's a really cool threat in your story.  Yeah.  And you're no longer like sort of riding off of other people's faith.  You're almost like checked into an environment where you're like forced  to figure like yourself out and find who God really is for you.  That's it.  And what was that moment like for you to be aware of where you were like,  oh, I've just hit rock bottom.  I feel like I really need God.  Yeah, that's such a good question.  So what that looked like for me is I was stuck in this lifestyle of  getting validation from places outside of God like I mentioned.  So what that looked like for me was on social media,  I was always posting pictures of myself and looking for the likes  and I wanted certain guys to respond.  I'm sure that a lot of girls our age can relate to that.  And I was partying.  I came home at like I remember one day I came home at 11 in the morning,  which was like to me, that was late,  but I would hang out in places in London where like a lot of celebrities go  and I would find that so cool like to tell my friends,  guess who I saw the next day blah, blah.  I was just stuck in the cycle that was so superficial and the thing  that I can see now is all of these things that you think are going to  give you validation and freedom.  Like you mentioned,  Kenya are the things that actually leave you more empty afterwards.  But in the moment you don't see that,  that it actually makes things worse and you have to keep it going  because otherwise, you're kind of left in the silence  and you have to face your actions and see that this is not working.  So a lot of people who live these lifestyles have to keep it going  and they have to go out again and do the next thing  because you don't want that silence.  You know, I could see myself in that and I remember that one day I came home  at like 11 in the morning and I just sat in my bed.  I was living in this box room at the time because I mean, it's a it's a long story  but I kind of when I hit rock bottom,  I didn't have a room in London.  My housing situation back home,  me and my mom don't have the best relationship.  I don't have a dad so I kind of had to I ended up in this box room in London,  basically and I was just sitting in my bed looking at my stuff piled up in the corner  and you know, coming home so late, I was tired and I just had this thought of  how am I going to keep this going?  Like surely there's more to life than this.  I'm tired, I'm exhausted with my actions like it's not working.  Again, something that I was doing was finding validation in guys.  I want it guys to tell me that I was enough that I was good enough to stay  because my dad never told me those things but then the guys that I was trying to chase  were also not giving me that validation and I was just tired.  I just yeah, I felt like I couldn't do this anymore and that's where that still small voice  of the Lord of God spoke to me so clearly and you know, in the moment it's just like a thought  that pops into your mind.  It's not this like crazy moment of like God spoke to me.  I heard this voice from heaven.  It was just a thought that was placed into my mind that kind of said Dabora,  clearly this lifestyle is not working, right?  You've tried it all, you're tired, it's not working out for you.  Why don't you return back to God?  Why don't you come back to me?  Give that you're all and if that does not work, go back to the life you're living now.  Like you have nothing to lose kind of thing and I remember at that time,  I would call myself a lukewarm Christian so I would still say that I was a Christian.  If people ask me like what's your faith, I would say a Christian but you couldn't see that  anywhere in my life, right? I wasn't living out the word.  I did not believe God's promises.  I didn't believe that God loved me even though I heard it so often in church.  Like I was lukewarm, that's how I would describe it.  But I was still going to church and following like social media pages that would post Bible  scriptures and the Bible verse that kept coming up was Matthew 6 verse 33, which says,  seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added onto you.  And it just kept pulping up in random places.  So then while this thought came into my mind of like, you know, give me your all,  that Bible verse was kind of clung to it like, give me your everything.  And I will make sure that you have everything you need.  The things that you're now in your own strength trying to obtain come to me.  And I'll make sure you have that.  And because I had nothing to lose in that moment, I was like, you know what?  I don't think as humans we can say that we've tried something fully unless we've given it our all.  And if I looked up my journey with God, I hadn't done that.  Like you kind of mentioned before Michelle, I had, when you grow up in a Christian household,  you kind of get passed on the faith of your parents, but it's not your personal experience,  right? Yeah.  So I could see that I hadn't had that personal walk with God.  So how could I say that?  I gave the Lord a chance when I hadn't.  Yeah.  So in that moment, I remember I just went on Amazon.  I got a Bible again.  I didn't even have a physical Bible anymore.  And I just kind of isolated myself.  I was like, okay, let's do this.  Let's give this a try.  And if it does not work, then I can just go back, you know?  And I mentioned like I gave God a chance, but obviously it was him who gave me another chance, right?  And it's in that moment where things just started to change.  I saw that the Bible is the truth.  And when you live by it, you see the fruits of it.  So Matthew 6 verse 33, seek first the kingdom of God.  I started to do that.  And then slowly, but surely, everything else around me started to shift.  And God started to do, to do a work within me when it came  to finding validation in guys.  And having that father wound, God really started to show me, I'm your father.  You can cling to me in that, expect me to show up.  And I will be there.  And it was a very slow process of kind of detoxing all of the things that I had clung to.  But yeah, slowly, but surely, things were just shifting.  And my desire for things started to change.  And these places that I was hanging out at, I remember one time specifically,  I was at this bar in London where, you know, all these celebrities would be.  And I was sitting there listening to this girl talking to me.  And the conversations that you have with people are very surface level.  And something that I saw people would do with me all the time is,  I like to listen to people.  And there was one girl who said, oh, um,  Debora, like, you're such a good friend.  Like, I really enjoy spending time with you.  You're so great.  And I was like, you haven't even asked me one question.  You don't know anything about me.  And I think that's when the veil kind of got pulled away,  where I was just looking around.  And I was like, what am I doing here?  Why am I here?  So this place that I had found comfort in being,  I now could see the veil being pulled away from that.  And I saw things for what they were.  And that was the last time I ever went there.  Because I was like, I don't need this anymore.  Because now I'm, I get to spend time with the actual source of life.  And spending time with Jesus is actually changing things.  So why would I want this like counterfeit stuff  when I have the real thing?  So yeah, that's where I came back to Christ.  And since then, I mean, my whole life has just turned upside down.  I think that is so profound.  Like, for me, Matthew 6.83 has been a really transformative  like scripture in my life.  And I think the Lord is just so,  like, he thinks of things before we can even think of them.  Like, he just knows how it goes.  He knows the best things for us.  I think the searching for the validation  in, like, distorted places is so relatable,  like searching for the likes, the approval.  Because as human beings, we crave to be loved.  It's not wrong to want to be loved.  It's not wrong to want connection.  It's not wrong to want to be seen.  Like, these are all things that we need as people.  Like God's designed us that way to receive love.  But it's going to the wrong places to meet those needs.  Because more damage is done when we go to the wrong places.  Because like you said, you just keep chasing it, chasing it.  And it's like, you're on this another ending treadmill  and you're tired.  And like, you get to the end of yourself at 11 a.m.  and you're sitting in your bed like,  I just can't do this anymore.  Like, this is not sustainable.  I feel like the world paints this picture  that like, if you keep chasing these insufficient means  for validation and love, that it's enough.  But it just makes you more tired in the process.  And I think getting to that place where the Lord was like,  just come back home, like come back to the thing  that you were running away from  because you thought that going to other places  would be the thing that would like suit your soul.  But actually going back to what you did first,  it kind of reminds me of that scripture from Revelation  where it's like, you guys did all these things.  Jesus speaking to one of the churches.  And it's like, you did all these things,  but you forgot the first love.  Like you forgot your, the love you had for the first.  And I think it's so powerful when we accept the love of God.  And we stop trying to find this like counterfeit love  in other places like it just changes so much.  You start to like, like you said, see things differently.  And even like you talking about how the places you used to go to,  like you naturally just felt this,  actually, I don't think I want to be here anymore.  I think a lot of the times coming to God feels very scary  because it feels like you have to do a lot of work.  Like I have to clean myself up.  I need to in my own strength like cut these people out  or stop going to these places or stop listening to this  and then I can come to God.  But actually like God wants us to return to the love first  like just to seek him first.  And then he will take care of the rest.  Like you don't need to worry about undoing all your baggage.  Like bring your bags to God and he will take care of that.  He is just so gracious.  And like just circling back to what you said before  about how God didn't like shame you for coming back to him.  Or God doesn't go like well you left me so I don't need you.  Like he's not like that.  Like he welcomes us back  because he knows that he is the only place  where we can have all our needs met.  He is the only place where we can be sustained.  He is the only place where we can see ourselves  truly for who we are, who he's created us to be in his image.  And our lives will just forever be changed afterwards.  And I just think like even as you're talking  there's just such a like lightness.  Like you know, and Jesus says my, my burden is light  and my yolk is easy.  Like you actually, it's not something that you've read  but you've embodied that and you live that  and you've experienced that.  I think God is kind.  And as you're talking about your story,  I just hear like God is just so kind.  Yeah, amen.  He's so kind and he welcomes us back time and time again.  Yeah, that's it.  And just off the back of that, I wanted to say like you talked about  we don't have to clean ourselves up before we come to God.  I remember at this time,  I read a book or I saw a quote that said,  when you take a shower, you don't clean  before you get in the shower.  Like the shower is there to clean you.  And God's love works in that same way.  Like just come to him.  There's a Bible verse in, I believe it's in Jeremiah  where God says my wayward children return back to me  and I will be the one to like soothe your wounds and to heal you.  So in other words, just return back home.  Just go to the Lord and he will make sure that everything  that's not in alignment with what he has for us  will slowly but surely shed off.  And what I can also see is that God is so patient, right?  So when I look back at that time,  I can see that over a few months,  there was still some things that I was entangled in  that were not very healthy and that I know that God wanted me to let go of.  But it was like a process.  It wasn't like day and night.  Like, oh, now I have to let all of this go.  It was slowly but surely.  And the Lord, he was just so kind to walk with me in that.  I can really see it and I'm so grateful for that.  And I'm sure that you girls have seen that in your own lives also.  Like, yeah, God is so patient and he's so loving and he's so kind  and I'm just so grateful that he is that.  So yeah.  I think it's super encouraging talking about the process.  Like, yeah.  Because I think so many people have that  thought of like, oh, I want to come to God.  But like, they're just so much to do or like, I want to come to God.  But like, it's going to have to take away that, that, that.  And it's like, oh, can't be asked.  Like I'm so comfortable.  Like, oh, that's just so inconvenient.  That's just going to be really uncomfortable.  But we forget that like, it's not on us.  Like, God is the one that will take care of it.  Like, that same verse, like, seek first to kick them  and all these things will be added.  He will be added by God.  Like, he's the one that says, I will take care of it.  You just seek me like over time, like, our faith is a lifelong journey.  Like, there are things that like, we're going to be figuring out  throughout our entire lives, which means that God is still working.  And he will continue to work.  And he will continue to chip things away.  And he'll continue to like put to bed old habits, old patterns of thinking.  And it's not on you.  Like, so I thought I just want to encourage you.  Have this thing.  Like, maybe you feel like, oh, like, I'm at the start of my faith journey.  And like, there's so much that I want God to like, take away.  Or like, whatever the case is, like, just chill.  Like, just chill.  And like, just be still and know that he's God.  Like, be still and know that it's in his hands.  It's in his timing.  Like, you're walking this out with God,  which means it's a day by day step by step.  Keep going to him.  Keep being in relationship with him.  And he will take care of everything else.  And you'll look back in years to come and be like,  wait, I stopped doing that.  Like, yeah.  And even realize, well, I don't even think like that anymore.  Like, oh, where are those people that like,  I used to hang out with and it wasn't really healthy.  Like, where did they go?  And it's like, you just kept focusing on following God.  You kept seeking him first and he took care of everything.  It's not on your own efforts or your own strength.  Just seek God and let him be God.  Totally.  And I think we can like, complicate it.  So I think as Christians, we can think on a way.  I, you know, I read the Bible and all these people around me  seem to be so perfect.  They don't have a single like,  Flore in their life.  And I need to be like, if I need to, if I want to follow God.  But actually, like, Jesus isn't like,  he isn't afraid of our, like, he just like, humanity.  And just who we are, like, we are broken beings.  And yeah, actually, invite sick.  Then that's like, you know,  I was no longer trying to rely on our own strength  and trying to like, figure things out ourselves.  But then we actually go to him instead.  And that alone is so wonderful and beautiful to the Lord.  And that gives him praise.  And he loves that.  And to like, have child like faith to go to him,  be like, that I need you.  Yeah, that really needs your help.  And it's like you said, Zen, it's a day today.  It's a, okay, I wake up in the morning.  Your, your mercy is a new every morning.  I get to like, I get to walk this day out,  knowing that you love me.  And there's like wonder and mystery  and love, this great freedom that you have for me  that I can walk out today.  Amen.  And there's another one tomorrow.  Obviously tomorrow is not promised,  but it's a day, today walk with him.  Yeah.  It's not like, okay, I see myself now.  I want to be at this place over there,  but I don't know how to get there.  That's not your, that's not your job  to know how to get there.  That's God.  And that, that, that means putting trust in the Lord  and knowing that he is good, you know,  be still before the Lord and wait on him.  And do you know what?  I was going to say like to touch on that,  you were like, oh, it's not your job  to figure it out, it's your father's job.  But when you've grown up with no father,  you buy nature, I think that it is your job.  Yes, it's true.  And I personally like have experienced that myself,  like having no like present father figure  to like guide me in my day to day,  give me advice, like help me out.  You naturally grow up with the sense  of hyper independence where you're like,  I would not have anybody to leave me.  Yeah.  So I have to leave myself.  And it's something that can be so subconsciously picked  up as a child, like you naturally,  but then it follows you into your teen years  and your adult years and you realize,  well, like, I think I know what's best for me.  Because my whole life, I've just had to figure it out.  Like I've had to know what's best for me.  Yeah.  And that's something like God took me  on the process of relearning.  Like I am so different to an earthly father.  I am so different to man.  Like the Bible says, God is not a man that he should lie.  He's not a man that he should change his mind.  Like God is so much greater than any earthly father  could ever be.  Yeah.  And only he can reveal that to you.  Like when you surrender yourself to him  and when you say, you know what, God,  I want you to be my Lord and I want you to be my Savior.  I want you to guide me.  And you let him be God, let him lead.  Then you realize, wow, like you're taking me  in a direction that I could have never taken myself in.  That's way better for me.  Like you are literally a good father  who wants good things for me.  And so like I just want to encourage anybody  that's like maybe that's like struck a chord.  Like maybe you're in like a fatherless context  of whatever that might mean to you.  But I just want to encourage you that like God is way  better than any earthly father could ever be.  Like God will never let you down.  Like an earthly father could let you down.  You'll never abandon you or discourage you  or make you feel abandoned or rejected.  Like any earthly father ever could  because he made you, he loves you,  and he has a plan for you.  And he wants you to trust him  because he has good things for you.  That's right.  I just feel really stronger on that  because I just know how that feels.  And I feel like so many people,  especially young girls could probably relate to that  as well.  I love how like all of our stories are actually quite similar.  Yeah.  Growing up with like either an absent father  or just like a dad that's not there at all in our lives.  And I think there's a beautiful like recognition  point within your journey and walk with the Lord  like to like finding your,  finding who you are as a daughter.  Yeah.  In God.  And how he's your dad, he's your papa.  He actually does care and he's looking after you  and he does have good things for you.  And knowing that like even like when you were growing up  and you didn't have the awareness of God  that he was that loving you.  Yeah.  That's it.  Like what comes to mind is something  that I read in this book by A. W. Tozer  called The Pursuit of God.  Yes.  Have you read it?  I've read it.  That's Michelle's book.  Listen, it's a game readable.  There's a bit where he talks about the Levites.  Yes.  And in the Bible book of Numbers,  there's this part where you know the Israelites  wandered around in the wilderness for 40 years  waiting to inhabit the Promised Land, right?  But they didn't get to because of their lack of faith.  And then finally, at one point,  they get to inhabit the Promised Land, right?  So the land gets divided into different sections  for each tribe.  But then it's the turn of the Levites  to like get their portion of land.  So imagine, right, they step to the front  like excited to hear which portion they get to inhabit  and then God says to them,  the Levites are not going to get a portion of land.  Now imagine, right?  You've been wandering for 40 years  and you get nothing.  And I think in a lot of areas of our lives,  we can feel this way.  There seems to be a hole.  It seems like we did not get a portion  when it comes to us growing up without a dad  and seeing all of your friends have a father figure.  It seems like you were left out, you were cut short  or something else for me was that.  I've never been in a relationship.  I've never had a boyfriend.  So I could see all these holes  that other people had something in it.  I did not, but what happens in this story  is that God says you don't get a portion of land,  but instead I'm your portion.  And A.W. Tozer says in his book, with that phrase,  God made the Levites richer than any other tribe  of the Israelites because that area  where you don't have a portion in the natural,  you get to cling onto God so much more.  And if hearing this, that God is your portion  in your area of not having a dad  or not having a partner, not having a mom,  if that doesn't have weight for you,  if you hear that and you're like, oh, whatever,  then you don't know who God is.  Because when you know that God is almighty God,  he created the heavens, the earth, everything.  And he gets to be your portion.  He gets to be your dad.  I want that.  Literally, I want that.  Then it's like, I'll take that portion, I'll be honored.  But what we do is that we have God as our portion  in these areas, but we keep looking  at other people's plates and thinking,  oh, but they have that, they have that.  And the Lord is just sitting there like,  if you would just come to me,  if you would just lean on me,  if you would just expect me to show up as your father,  he will, he absolutely will.  So yeah, it's just crazy that we've walked through  that, like all of us, that we can relate to that.  And I'm sure that many more women can,  guys, if you're tuning in, like, it's not easy,  but please know that God is your portion there.  You can cling to him so much more  than people might who have that in the natural,  if that makes sense.  It's really good, so yeah.  And the thing is God has good things to be.  Yeah, he is a good God.  Yeah, he is.  Time and time again, he is faithful to show up.  When you feel like you're at your end,  that's the beginning of what God's gonna stop moving.  Like, it's like laying yourself down,  being recognizing that you can't do this alone.  Yeah.  And saying, God, I need you.  I need you.  And he shows up.  Absolutely.  Yeah, he shows up.  Like a quote that comes to mind  that I clung to for a lot of time was,  the best plans and outcome of your life  that you can achieve in your own strength  do not even come close to what God has for you  when you let go and trust him.  Like, it doesn't even come close.  He has so much more for you.  It says in Ephesians 3.20 that God is able to do  above and beyond what we can ask, think or imagine.  Crazy.  Like, it doesn't, what God has doesn't even come to mind  if we sit and overthink right now.  Like, oh, in 10 years time, I'm gonna do this and this.  What God has doesn't even come close to that.  Right.  And for you also, like, with your life,  you left uni, you're thinking, okay, music is the plan.  So now, if your university version of you  could see what you're doing now,  it doesn't come close.  Like, first of all, how could I have done this  in my own strength?  Because there's no way I could have done this by myself.  But also, like, this plan, I did not even think of this.  Like, when you are uni, there's no way you would have thought,  you know what I'm gonna do?  I'm gonna become a faith-based contemporary art.  You know what, I'm just gonna do,  like that was not even a thought in your mind.  So, like, how did you even,  how did God even direct you from leaving uni,  like putting your faith in him, trusting him,  like, living for him and then to, like, get to where you are now?  Because how does one even get that, you know what I mean?  Like, how did God do that?  Yeah.  Good question.  That's such a good one.  Yeah, I definitely did not plan to do this.  And I wouldn't, if you would have asked me,  even five years ago, like, where are you gonna be in five years?  I would have never said here, ever.  It all started from that place where I hit rock bottom.  The Lord kind of challenged me to give him my all.  I did that, got a Bible.  I went on a social media fast at that time.  And it just became clear to me that, like, in terms of music,  that was kind of my trajectory.  I wanted to be a singer, I wanted to be a songwriter,  which is not a bad thing.  Like, that's a creative gift and talent  that the Lord has placed on my heart that has given me.  I enjoy doing that, but I saw that it wasn't I'd only my life,  which means that I wanted that way more  than I wanted a relationship with Jesus.  And that's where there's an issue, right?  So it was in that isolation period that music kind of,  for the first time, I was able to let it go,  because I saw it as it almost had me in a chokehold.  Like, every decision I made in life was like,  how do I get this music career?  How do I meet the right people?  How do I get in the room?  How was controlled by it?  I wasn't free.  And we serve a God who's in the business of our freedom.  So as soon as something controls us, the Lord is like,  okay, we need to strip that down,  not because God doesn't want you to have it,  but he does not want you to be controlled by it.  Yeah.  So in that rock bottom place, in that isolation season,  spending time with Jesus is just something else.  Like just spending time in the presence of the Lord,  everything else fades away.  You experience a love that you've never experienced before.  Things start to change.  It's so hard to explain, but again, Matthew 6 verse 33,  like just focus on the Lord.  And from that place, opening the Bible,  starting to read the word again,  you know, I'd heard all these Bible stories  in like Sunday school and I'd read the Bible every now and again,  but I just read it through such a different lens,  like it all came to life.  And I was like, this book is not boring.  Like for the longest time, I didn't want to read the Bible  because I was like, oh, this is so boring.  When you read through it, where is it boring?  There's like, mad stories happening here.  Like crazy things.  So it came to life to me so much that I was like,  I need other people to know this  because I knew so many people who were in the same situation  as me just like endlessly scrolling on social media  and living this like lukewarm Christian life,  which withholds you from experiencing the fullness  that God wants you to experience.  So in a way, we're just setting ourselves up  when we live a lukewarm life, right?  So I was, I think my cup was overflowing so much  from spending time with Jesus that I was like,  I need other people to know this.  I need other people to hear scripture.  And my thought process was if people don't want to open the Bible,  I will go onto social media and give the Bible to them.  Like, I'll start reading Bible's scripture as well.  So I went on to TikTok literally  and I just like opened the Bible and I was like,  guys, today I read this Bible first.  Like when I look back on it, it was so simple  and so like a little cringe, but somehow God worked with it  and I never had this thought of like,  it wasn't this crazy revelation of like,  to go on social media and like, I'm gonna use you to,  it was none of that.  It was just from the overflow of spending time with God  that I was like, I just want to share this right now.  I can't keep this to myself.  I want other people to experience what I've experienced.  A shift, there's so much more for us.  So from that, I just went, yeah,  I just shared the word on TikTok  and then slowly but surely people were asking  for longer form content.  Like, oh, can you talk about this for like 10 minutes?  And I remember that I was thinking,  oh, I don't think I'll be able to talk  about these things for longer.  Like, you know, on TikTok back then,  you could only do three minute videos.  I was like, no, three minutes is enough.  Like, who am I to speak into these things longer?  And I do think that was maybe some spiritual warfare  from the enemy to keep me from doing this on YouTube  because now YouTube has way overtaken  the amount of people that are tuned into my TikTok account.  So like, YouTube is now the biggest platform  that I get to steward.  And just looking at how it grew,  I literally can't take credit.  I don't know how it happened.  It all just stemmed from, I want to share  what God has done in my life with other people.  I need more people to open their word.  Like, get into the Bible, just spend time with Jesus.  There's nothing like it.  And there's this song, I think it's by Maverick City.  There's a line in it that says,  what's every other option when I know the sweeter sound?  When you spend time in the quiet place  and you just experience what it's like to be with Jesus,  everything else becomes so like, man.  Like, of course, life, we get to enjoy this life,  but there's nothing like it.  So I just wanted other people to know that.  And also, like we kind of mentioned at the beginning,  I wanted people to know that they, but they're not alone  because I felt alone for so long.  And I felt like I was never going to reach anything  because I got bullied and I didn't have a dad  and I've never been in a relationship.  I felt like there was something wrong  with me in so many different areas.  I just wanted people to know, like, look, I've gone through that.  And I've now found this joy in Christ.  And also, all of the parts of my testimony  that I tried to pray away when I was younger,  the things I just mentioned,  I can now see how those are like strong points  in my testimony, those are actually the points  that have kind of launched me forward.  So that's how it all started on social media.  Wow.  Wow.  God is just so obviously easy.  And I actually really love like,  you're like Faith Talk series that you do on YouTube  every Sunday.  It's so cool to just see like somebody just unpacking  like what God is doing in them  and like how they read through like the lens of scripture.  But it also like almost gives people permission  to do the same.  You know, I think what we do on social media,  it's so powerful in so many different ways  but it gives people permission.  And I think when you see somebody else doing it,  I don't know, it gives you that inspiration  to try it yourself.  Like, oh, maybe I could buy a Bible and like read it.  Like maybe I could go to church and like make friends  with other people, like maybe I could do that.  I think there's so much power in sharing your story  and showing what God is doing with you online  because you just don't know who's watching  and who needs it and over time and time.  Like, I'm sure you've had so many testimonies  of people being like, hey, I watched your video  and like I encountered God or like I watched your video now.  I'm in church and it's like one honor to be used  by God to like help people.  Yeah.  Yeah, that's just incredible.  I love that that's what God's doing in you.  It's crazy.  It's crazy.  It's so surreal when you say it that way,  like we get to be instruments used by God,  like vessels, right?  I kind of see it as more of a pipeline,  like because we get to experience the joy  and the overflow of like doing something  that's bigger than ourselves.  It's also to bless other people.  And I just constantly think about like how do you actually  get started?  How do you, like I'm scared to put myself out there?  And I think us not doing what God has placed  on our hearts to do is also withholding other people  from being blessed.  Like I just think what if we never started  than all of the testimonies that we get to hear now  of people feeling seen and like being encouraged?  They would have not been here.  It's like what Mordecai says to Esther  and Esther 4 verse 14, perhaps you've been called  for such a time as this.  And then before that he says,  if you don't want to step up and do this thing,  God will use someone else, right?  He will still deliver the Jews.  He will still do what he has to do.  But what a, like it's just so sad  if we missed out on everything that we get to be a part of  because we let fear get the best of us.  So I guess that's just to encourage someone  who is looking to start and maybe you're scared.  Like fear is not from the Lord.  You've not been given a spirit of fear  and there's so much attached to you being obedient  to what God has placed within you.  It's not just for you.  Yeah, perfect love drives out all fear, the men.  And you know, our stories aren't actually just  for our greater good, but it's also for other people  like you're saying, you know, there's people  on the opposite end of our obedience saying,  yes, okay, I'm gonna like be bold and courageous  and step into what I feel like.  God's really pressed on my heart.  Maybe just like giving it a shot, you know,  you're losing out on nothing at all,  except an experience and trying things and learning  and growing and that's what life is all about.  Amen.  And there's no like linear, this is how you should do.  This is what you should do.  But like it's just like a journey with the Lord  and it's an adventure and it's a privilege to be able to like  have such a good God and want to lead us and guide us  through a wonderful journey of figuring ourselves out  and learning who we are and getting to bless  and love others on the way, you know, that's it.  And I also think like comparison's such a big thing.  Like let's not like social media is a constant comparison  real like you see this person doing it,  this person doing it, this person testimony,  that person testimony, this person's content,  that person's content, this ministry, that ministry,  you're like, I'm not doing any of that.  But my testimony doesn't sound like that.  My testimony sounds so boring.  Why would you ever want me to talk?  Why would you want to use me?  And I think sometimes we can disqualify ourselves  from being used by God because we think God  has to use a certain type of person  or only a certain type of story is going to connect to people.  We all have a testimony.  We all started from somewhere and God picked us up  and took us somewhere else.  No testimony is more undervalued than another testimony.  Difference is actually so powerful.  Because all our testimonies are different.  Hey, wow, God uses different people in different ways  to connect with different people  to bring the gospel to their context.  And so maybe your testimony doesn't look like  this next person or that next person, but that's good.  Because God wants to use you in a way  that he's not using other people.  And so like 100% echo everything you guys have said,  but just to encourage, don't compare yourself to other people.  And in sharing your story, just share what God  has done in your life.  Share it with authenticity.  Share it with a bold vulnerability, but just share it.  Because you just don't know who God's going to reach.  Who God's going to use you to reach out to you.  And I think that's so evident with you  and the ministry that God is building through you to borrow us.  So thank you.  Thank you for sharing your story with us.  Yes, thank you.  And thank you for just giving God your yes.  Your yes, like Michelle was saying, but your yes has power.  And it's been helping so many people.  So thank you.  Thank you for having me, guys.  It wasn't blessing to speak to you, girls.  It was for you.  And it was like a little key key.  They loved it.  And thank you guys for watching and listening  to this conversation.  Maybe there was something that was said  that like really struck with you.  We would love to hear your thoughts.  So give us a little comment.  However, you're listening to this podcast.  And we'd love to hear.  But guys, we will be back with more episodes of the way.  More podcasts, more testimonies, more Bible studies  coming your way.  So subscribe, keep up to date.  And we will see you in the next video.  Bye guys.  Yeah.","word_count":10936,"segments":[{"start":0,"end":4.16,"text":" Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the way E.K. Podcast.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.3731770833333333,"compression_ratio":1.5354330708661417,"no_speech_prob":0.038909912109375,"words":[]},{"start":4.16,"end":6.640000000000001,"text":" My name is Zenya and I'm here with Michelle.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.3731770833333333,"compression_ratio":1.5354330708661417,"no_speech_prob":0.038909912109375,"words":[]},{"start":6.640000000000001,"end":9.52,"text":" Hey guys, Michelle's on the couch. Michelle's wearing a cap.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.3731770833333333,"compression_ratio":1.5354330708661417,"no_speech_prob":0.038909912109375,"words":[]},{"start":9.52,"end":12,"text":" Michelle is in the vibes.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.3731770833333333,"compression_ratio":1.5354330708661417,"no_speech_prob":0.038909912109375,"words":[]},{"start":12,"end":12.8,"text":" Cheers.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.3731770833333333,"compression_ratio":1.5354330708661417,"no_speech_prob":0.038909912109375,"words":[]},{"start":12.8,"end":16.080000000000002,"text":" She's living her patterned life.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.3731770833333333,"compression_ratio":1.5354330708661417,"no_speech_prob":0.038909912109375,"words":[]},{"start":16.080000000000002,"end":19.28,"text":" And today we are here with a very special guest.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.3731770833333333,"compression_ratio":1.5354330708661417,"no_speech_prob":0.038909912109375,"words":[]},{"start":19.28,"end":23.92,"text":" We had joined with the wonderful, amazing, fantastic DeBora.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.3731770833333333,"compression_ratio":1.5354330708661417,"no_speech_prob":0.038909912109375,"words":[]},{"start":23.92,"end":25.52,"text":" Let's go.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.3731770833333333,"compression_ratio":1.5354330708661417,"no_speech_prob":0.038909912109375,"words":[]},{"start":25.52,"end":29.04,"text":" Yay, what an intro, thank you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.3731770833333333,"compression_ratio":1.5354330708661417,"no_speech_prob":0.038909912109375,"words":[]},{"start":29.04,"end":32.64,"text":" You're welcome. I thought to just set you up for the win","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":32.64,"end":35.92,"text":" and to name as many adjectives as I could.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":35.92,"end":37.6,"text":" But I feel like maybe I missed out some more.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":37.6,"end":42.32,"text":" The talented, you know, the mighty woman of God,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":42.32,"end":46.480000000000004,"text":" the amazing, the courageous, the strong, the bold.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":46.480000000000004,"end":47.599999999999994,"text":" Hey, I received it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":47.599999999999994,"end":48.8,"text":" I'll give you the ring if you want.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":48.8,"end":49.599999999999994,"text":" Give me the ring.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":49.599999999999994,"end":50.4,"text":" Give me the ring.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":50.4,"end":52.08,"text":" Bro, I feel like I'm feeling blessed.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":52.08,"end":54.32,"text":" I received it in Jesus name.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":54.32,"end":56.96,"text":" We are so happy to have you with us because","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.29743705035971224,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.041595458984375,"words":[]},{"start":57.04,"end":59.68,"text":" guys, we're going to be getting into DeBora's story,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2502403846153846,"compression_ratio":1.6934865900383143,"no_speech_prob":0.03436279296875,"words":[]},{"start":59.68,"end":62.480000000000004,"text":" her testimony, who she is, what she does.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2502403846153846,"compression_ratio":1.6934865900383143,"no_speech_prob":0.03436279296875,"words":[]},{"start":62.480000000000004,"end":63.52,"text":" Some of you may have known her.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2502403846153846,"compression_ratio":1.6934865900383143,"no_speech_prob":0.03436279296875,"words":[]},{"start":63.52,"end":65.52,"text":" You may have seen her before.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2502403846153846,"compression_ratio":1.6934865900383143,"no_speech_prob":0.03436279296875,"words":[]},{"start":65.52,"end":69.12,"text":" But yeah, we're so excited to hear about what God's been doing in you","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2502403846153846,"compression_ratio":1.6934865900383143,"no_speech_prob":0.03436279296875,"words":[]},{"start":69.12,"end":73.12,"text":" and how God's been using you to help other people in their faith.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2502403846153846,"compression_ratio":1.6934865900383143,"no_speech_prob":0.03436279296875,"words":[]},{"start":73.12,"end":74.88,"text":" So that's how it's been.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2502403846153846,"compression_ratio":1.6934865900383143,"no_speech_prob":0.03436279296875,"words":[]},{"start":78.88,"end":83.76,"text":" I thought it would be great to start and chat about like, what did you do?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2502403846153846,"compression_ratio":1.6934865900383143,"no_speech_prob":0.03436279296875,"words":[]},{"start":83.76,"end":85.84,"text":" Because I feel like you live quite a unique life.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2502403846153846,"compression_ratio":1.6934865900383143,"no_speech_prob":0.03436279296875,"words":[]},{"start":85.84,"end":89.76,"text":" Like what you do is very interesting and very different.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20837602459016394,"compression_ratio":1.685823754789272,"no_speech_prob":0.013031005859375,"words":[]},{"start":89.76,"end":92.24000000000001,"text":" So just give us like a little, what did you do?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20837602459016394,"compression_ratio":1.685823754789272,"no_speech_prob":0.013031005859375,"words":[]},{"start":92.24000000000001,"end":95.60000000000001,"text":" Maybe give us like a typical day in your life as well.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20837602459016394,"compression_ratio":1.685823754789272,"no_speech_prob":0.013031005859375,"words":[]},{"start":95.60000000000001,"end":99.04,"text":" You know what, that's a hard one because every day looks so different.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20837602459016394,"compression_ratio":1.685823754789272,"no_speech_prob":0.013031005859375,"words":[]},{"start":99.84,"end":104,"text":" So what I do is that I'm a faith-based content creator.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20837602459016394,"compression_ratio":1.685823754789272,"no_speech_prob":0.013031005859375,"words":[]},{"start":104,"end":108.24000000000001,"text":" So I get to go online and speak about Jesus.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20837602459016394,"compression_ratio":1.685823754789272,"no_speech_prob":0.013031005859375,"words":[]},{"start":108.24000000000001,"end":112.56,"text":" So share the word, share the light of Christ in the dark space","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20837602459016394,"compression_ratio":1.685823754789272,"no_speech_prob":0.013031005859375,"words":[]},{"start":112.56,"end":115.2,"text":" that the internet is, which is such an honor.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20837602459016394,"compression_ratio":1.685823754789272,"no_speech_prob":0.013031005859375,"words":[]},{"start":115.2,"end":117.2,"text":" I never planned to do this.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13747479838709678,"compression_ratio":1.6555555555555554,"no_speech_prob":0.0029773712158203125,"words":[]},{"start":117.2,"end":119.52000000000001,"text":" I never wanted to do this.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13747479838709678,"compression_ratio":1.6555555555555554,"no_speech_prob":0.0029773712158203125,"words":[]},{"start":119.52000000000001,"end":121.60000000000001,"text":" I don't know, it's so crazy how it came about.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13747479838709678,"compression_ratio":1.6555555555555554,"no_speech_prob":0.0029773712158203125,"words":[]},{"start":121.60000000000001,"end":124.08,"text":" But yeah, that's what I spend my days doing.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13747479838709678,"compression_ratio":1.6555555555555554,"no_speech_prob":0.0029773712158203125,"words":[]},{"start":124.08,"end":131.12,"text":" So what the content I create is that I do kind of Bible study type of video.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13747479838709678,"compression_ratio":1.6555555555555554,"no_speech_prob":0.0029773712158203125,"words":[]},{"start":131.12,"end":135.68,"text":" Sit down, sharing about just life experiences that we walk through","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13747479838709678,"compression_ratio":1.6555555555555554,"no_speech_prob":0.0029773712158203125,"words":[]},{"start":135.68,"end":138.4,"text":" to encourage other people in knowing that they're not alone.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13747479838709678,"compression_ratio":1.6555555555555554,"no_speech_prob":0.0029773712158203125,"words":[]},{"start":138.4,"end":141.12,"text":" Because I think that's a big thing that in our walks with Christ,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13747479838709678,"compression_ratio":1.6555555555555554,"no_speech_prob":0.0029773712158203125,"words":[]},{"start":141.12,"end":143.04,"text":" we can feel alone so quickly.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13747479838709678,"compression_ratio":1.6555555555555554,"no_speech_prob":0.0029773712158203125,"words":[]},{"start":143.04,"end":145.6,"text":" And I think that's what the enemy wants as well.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16867315573770492,"compression_ratio":1.735408560311284,"no_speech_prob":0.02423095703125,"words":[]},{"start":145.6,"end":150,"text":" So yeah, that's a type of content that I do and then also vlogs.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16867315573770492,"compression_ratio":1.735408560311284,"no_speech_prob":0.02423095703125,"words":[]},{"start":150,"end":153.76,"text":" So like every day lifestyle, what a life with Jesus looks like","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16867315573770492,"compression_ratio":1.735408560311284,"no_speech_prob":0.02423095703125,"words":[]},{"start":153.76,"end":158.88,"text":" to encourage people that life with Jesus is not boring.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16867315573770492,"compression_ratio":1.735408560311284,"no_speech_prob":0.02423095703125,"words":[]},{"start":158.88,"end":161.44,"text":" Because that's what I thought for a long time.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16867315573770492,"compression_ratio":1.735408560311284,"no_speech_prob":0.02423095703125,"words":[]},{"start":161.44,"end":164.72,"text":" So yeah, that's kind of it in a nutshell, to be honest.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16867315573770492,"compression_ratio":1.735408560311284,"no_speech_prob":0.02423095703125,"words":[]},{"start":164.72,"end":165.6,"text":" Super encouraging.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16867315573770492,"compression_ratio":1.735408560311284,"no_speech_prob":0.02423095703125,"words":[]},{"start":165.6,"end":168.39999999999998,"text":" I feel like when I first stumbled on you","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16867315573770492,"compression_ratio":1.735408560311284,"no_speech_prob":0.02423095703125,"words":[]},{"start":168.39999999999998,"end":171.28,"text":" is on the video that you made about your testimony","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16867315573770492,"compression_ratio":1.735408560311284,"no_speech_prob":0.02423095703125,"words":[]},{"start":171.28,"end":174.08,"text":" when you're getting your home that you live in right now.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2307518115942029,"compression_ratio":1.7361111111111112,"no_speech_prob":0.058990478515625,"words":[]},{"start":174.08,"end":177.68,"text":" That video, like it was in my recommended for like all weeks.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2307518115942029,"compression_ratio":1.7361111111111112,"no_speech_prob":0.058990478515625,"words":[]},{"start":177.68,"end":179.28,"text":" Now I was like, what was this video about?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2307518115942029,"compression_ratio":1.7361111111111112,"no_speech_prob":0.058990478515625,"words":[]},{"start":179.28,"end":182.08,"text":" And I clicked it and I listened to it and I was like, wow, like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2307518115942029,"compression_ratio":1.7361111111111112,"no_speech_prob":0.058990478515625,"words":[]},{"start":182.08,"end":185.68,"text":" you've just got such a talent with communicating.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2307518115942029,"compression_ratio":1.7361111111111112,"no_speech_prob":0.058990478515625,"words":[]},{"start":185.68,"end":189.92000000000002,"text":" And I think you speak in a way that's so relatable.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2307518115942029,"compression_ratio":1.7361111111111112,"no_speech_prob":0.058990478515625,"words":[]},{"start":189.92000000000002,"end":192.8,"text":" I think like, well, you were talking about how Christian he's not boring.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2307518115942029,"compression_ratio":1.7361111111111112,"no_speech_prob":0.058990478515625,"words":[]},{"start":192.8,"end":196.8,"text":" Like you could be a Christian and smile and enjoy your life.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2307518115942029,"compression_ratio":1.7361111111111112,"no_speech_prob":0.058990478515625,"words":[]},{"start":196.8,"end":198.08,"text":" But I used to think the same thing.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2307518115942029,"compression_ratio":1.7361111111111112,"no_speech_prob":0.058990478515625,"words":[]},{"start":198.16000000000003,"end":201.12,"text":" And I used to think like, I don't see anybody else","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14097222222222222,"compression_ratio":1.7300380228136882,"no_speech_prob":0.115234375,"words":[]},{"start":201.12,"end":205.12,"text":" that is living this thing out like at our age or whatever.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14097222222222222,"compression_ratio":1.7300380228136882,"no_speech_prob":0.115234375,"words":[]},{"start":206.16000000000003,"end":208.8,"text":" And I feel like you live in a way that's so like encouraging","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14097222222222222,"compression_ratio":1.7300380228136882,"no_speech_prob":0.115234375,"words":[]},{"start":208.8,"end":212,"text":" for others to know that, you know, if you can do it, we can do it too.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14097222222222222,"compression_ratio":1.7300380228136882,"no_speech_prob":0.115234375,"words":[]},{"start":213.12,"end":214.96,"text":" So yeah, I just wanted to encourage you on that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14097222222222222,"compression_ratio":1.7300380228136882,"no_speech_prob":0.115234375,"words":[]},{"start":214.96,"end":216.24,"text":" Oh, thank you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14097222222222222,"compression_ratio":1.7300380228136882,"no_speech_prob":0.115234375,"words":[]},{"start":216.24,"end":216.64000000000001,"text":" Thank you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14097222222222222,"compression_ratio":1.7300380228136882,"no_speech_prob":0.115234375,"words":[]},{"start":216.64000000000001,"end":218.24,"text":" I think that's the heart behind it as well.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14097222222222222,"compression_ratio":1.7300380228136882,"no_speech_prob":0.115234375,"words":[]},{"start":218.24,"end":220.96,"text":" Because yeah, like I mentioned for a long time,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14097222222222222,"compression_ratio":1.7300380228136882,"no_speech_prob":0.115234375,"words":[]},{"start":220.96,"end":224,"text":" I thought that life as a Christian was boring.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14097222222222222,"compression_ratio":1.7300380228136882,"no_speech_prob":0.115234375,"words":[]},{"start":224,"end":228.16,"text":" And that's why I mean, I'm maybe getting ahead of myself a little bit.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1501937984496124,"compression_ratio":1.6523297491039426,"no_speech_prob":0.0023956298828125,"words":[]},{"start":228.16,"end":231.12,"text":" But that's why I kind of walked away from the faith","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1501937984496124,"compression_ratio":1.6523297491039426,"no_speech_prob":0.0023956298828125,"words":[]},{"start":231.12,"end":233.6,"text":" because I was looking at everybody around me in the world.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1501937984496124,"compression_ratio":1.6523297491039426,"no_speech_prob":0.0023956298828125,"words":[]},{"start":233.6,"end":235.52,"text":" And I thought, oh, they're living this great life.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1501937984496124,"compression_ratio":1.6523297491039426,"no_speech_prob":0.0023956298828125,"words":[]},{"start":235.52,"end":236.4,"text":" I'm missing out.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1501937984496124,"compression_ratio":1.6523297491039426,"no_speech_prob":0.0023956298828125,"words":[]},{"start":238.16,"end":241.84,"text":" But yeah, long story short, the Lord just showed me that, no,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1501937984496124,"compression_ratio":1.6523297491039426,"no_speech_prob":0.0023956298828125,"words":[]},{"start":241.84,"end":244.64,"text":" Jesus came that we may have life and have it to the full.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1501937984496124,"compression_ratio":1.6523297491039426,"no_speech_prob":0.0023956298828125,"words":[]},{"start":245.36,"end":247.36,"text":" And that's what I get to experience now.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1501937984496124,"compression_ratio":1.6523297491039426,"no_speech_prob":0.0023956298828125,"words":[]},{"start":247.36,"end":251.44,"text":" So really encouraging other people our age in that","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1501937984496124,"compression_ratio":1.6523297491039426,"no_speech_prob":0.0023956298828125,"words":[]},{"start":252.16,"end":254.64,"text":" is kind of the heart behind what I get to do.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1865320796460177,"compression_ratio":1.6851063829787234,"no_speech_prob":0.0126800537109375,"words":[]},{"start":254.64,"end":255.92,"text":" And yeah, so thank you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1865320796460177,"compression_ratio":1.6851063829787234,"no_speech_prob":0.0126800537109375,"words":[]},{"start":255.92,"end":256.32,"text":" Thank you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1865320796460177,"compression_ratio":1.6851063829787234,"no_speech_prob":0.0126800537109375,"words":[]},{"start":257.12,"end":260.64,"text":" That's what I hope that it comes across as.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1865320796460177,"compression_ratio":1.6851063829787234,"no_speech_prob":0.0126800537109375,"words":[]},{"start":260.64,"end":261.52,"text":" So that's great to hear.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1865320796460177,"compression_ratio":1.6851063829787234,"no_speech_prob":0.0126800537109375,"words":[]},{"start":261.52,"end":263.36,"text":" I think that's really encouraging.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1865320796460177,"compression_ratio":1.6851063829787234,"no_speech_prob":0.0126800537109375,"words":[]},{"start":263.36,"end":268.88,"text":" There's so much power in when somebody sees somebody online,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1865320796460177,"compression_ratio":1.6851063829787234,"no_speech_prob":0.0126800537109375,"words":[]},{"start":268.88,"end":273.2,"text":" like saying that I actually recognize that you can feel alone in this,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1865320796460177,"compression_ratio":1.6851063829787234,"no_speech_prob":0.0126800537109375,"words":[]},{"start":273.2,"end":274.32,"text":" but you're actually not.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1865320796460177,"compression_ratio":1.6851063829787234,"no_speech_prob":0.0126800537109375,"words":[]},{"start":274.32,"end":278.48,"text":" And that we're all doing this together as a community.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1865320796460177,"compression_ratio":1.6851063829787234,"no_speech_prob":0.0126800537109375,"words":[]},{"start":279.04,"end":281.92,"text":" And not only do I feel seen by watching your video,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20554748062015504,"compression_ratio":1.6829268292682926,"no_speech_prob":0.13623046875,"words":[]},{"start":281.92,"end":284.72,"text":" but I also feel seen by God and the community around me","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20554748062015504,"compression_ratio":1.6829268292682926,"no_speech_prob":0.13623046875,"words":[]},{"start":284.72,"end":286.88,"text":" that they were doing this all together.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20554748062015504,"compression_ratio":1.6829268292682926,"no_speech_prob":0.13623046875,"words":[]},{"start":286.88,"end":290.24,"text":" And this Christian walk isn't just this constant high,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20554748062015504,"compression_ratio":1.6829268292682926,"no_speech_prob":0.13623046875,"words":[]},{"start":290.24,"end":294,"text":" but actually it comes in seasons and waves of it being high and low.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20554748062015504,"compression_ratio":1.6829268292682926,"no_speech_prob":0.13623046875,"words":[]},{"start":294,"end":294.56,"text":" That's true.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20554748062015504,"compression_ratio":1.6829268292682926,"no_speech_prob":0.13623046875,"words":[]},{"start":294.56,"end":296.56,"text":" And to be able to be with each other,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20554748062015504,"compression_ratio":1.6829268292682926,"no_speech_prob":0.13623046875,"words":[]},{"start":296.56,"end":299.12,"text":" to encourage each other and that is such a gift.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20554748062015504,"compression_ratio":1.6829268292682926,"no_speech_prob":0.13623046875,"words":[]},{"start":299.12,"end":302.72,"text":" But you briefly mentioned how you sort of stepped away from God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20554748062015504,"compression_ratio":1.6829268292682926,"no_speech_prob":0.13623046875,"words":[]},{"start":302.72,"end":307.12,"text":" What is the story, but behind that and before?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20554748062015504,"compression_ratio":1.6829268292682926,"no_speech_prob":0.13623046875,"words":[]},{"start":307.68,"end":309.44,"text":" You know, even coming to Jesus.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":309.44,"end":310.72,"text":" Yeah, good question.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":311.76,"end":313.52,"text":" I guess like condensed.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":313.52,"end":315.12,"text":" So I'm from the Netherlands.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":315.12,"end":317.28000000000003,"text":" That's why my accent is a bit weird.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":318,"end":320.72,"text":" I grew up in quite a small town over there","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":320.72,"end":323.52,"text":" and I grew up in a single parent's Christian household.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":323.52,"end":327.68,"text":" So I was brought up going to church and hearing the word of God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":327.68,"end":329.84000000000003,"text":" And that's kind of where my foundation was laid","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":329.84000000000003,"end":331.2,"text":" for which I'm so grateful.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":332.64,"end":334.96,"text":" But a big part of what I walked through","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14754098360655737,"compression_ratio":1.5827067669172932,"no_speech_prob":0.007568359375,"words":[]},{"start":334.96,"end":336.71999999999997,"text":" is that I got bullied a lot in 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impact,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12723214285714285,"compression_ratio":1.6092436974789917,"no_speech_prob":0.00554656982421875,"words":[]},{"start":349.76,"end":351.59999999999997,"text":" obviously, as it would on someone.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12723214285714285,"compression_ratio":1.6092436974789917,"no_speech_prob":0.00554656982421875,"words":[]},{"start":353.2,"end":356.71999999999997,"text":" Something that I can see is that I don't know where this comes from,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12723214285714285,"compression_ratio":1.6092436974789917,"no_speech_prob":0.00554656982421875,"words":[]},{"start":356.71999999999997,"end":361.12,"text":" but I always wanted to get out of my hometown","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12723214285714285,"compression_ratio":1.6092436974789917,"no_speech_prob":0.00554656982421875,"words":[]},{"start":361.12,"end":363.44,"text":" and move to like a bigger city and kind 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this.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15652901785714285,"compression_ratio":1.6041666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.0018663406372070312,"words":[]},{"start":508.48,"end":513.44,"text":" Like what did a good Christian girl life in a way get me?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15652901785714285,"compression_ratio":1.6041666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.0018663406372070312,"words":[]},{"start":513.44,"end":514.96,"text":" It didn't get me anything.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15652901785714285,"compression_ratio":1.6041666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.0018663406372070312,"words":[]},{"start":514.96,"end":516.32,"text":" Goodbye, I'm leaving.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15652901785714285,"compression_ratio":1.6041666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.0018663406372070312,"words":[]},{"start":517.84,"end":523.04,"text":" And that's where, unfortunately, I kind of took 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from.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.24338503649635038,"compression_ratio":1.735632183908046,"no_speech_prob":0.006465911865234375,"words":[]},{"start":554.88,"end":556.16,"text":" So that's it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.24338503649635038,"compression_ratio":1.735632183908046,"no_speech_prob":0.006465911865234375,"words":[]},{"start":556.16,"end":559.28,"text":" Like you're not surrounded by your parents and that safety guy.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.24338503649635038,"compression_ratio":1.735632183908046,"no_speech_prob":0.006465911865234375,"words":[]},{"start":559.4399999999999,"end":562.88,"text":" So you kind of feel like you could do what you want to now.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13488051470588236,"compression_ratio":1.5695067264573992,"no_speech_prob":0.0022144317626953125,"words":[]},{"start":562.88,"end":565.48,"text":" So, yeah, I went 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life.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13488051470588236,"compression_ratio":1.5695067264573992,"no_speech_prob":0.0022144317626953125,"words":[]},{"start":580.3199999999999,"end":584.8399999999999,"text":" And I try to make up for that by getting validation from guys.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13488051470588236,"compression_ratio":1.5695067264573992,"no_speech_prob":0.0022144317626953125,"words":[]},{"start":584.84,"end":589.32,"text":" And I wanted to be seen as like the it girl kind of","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":589.32,"end":590.6,"text":" because I never was that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":590.6,"end":592.12,"text":" So I was trying to make up for things","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":592.12,"end":594.84,"text":" that I missed out on in my childhood.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":594.84,"end":597.0400000000001,"text":" And I mean, that's a very slippery slope","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":597.0400000000001,"end":601.76,"text":" because whenever you try to get validation outside of God,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":601.76,"end":603.8000000000001,"text":" you're not like, it's not going to work.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":603.8000000000001,"end":605.64,"text":" It's always going to leave you empty again","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":605.64,"end":607.08,"text":" and like you have to try again.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":607.08,"end":610.32,"text":" And yeah, it was just quite a mess.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":610.32,"end":614.0400000000001,"text":" So, yeah, I straight away from the Lord","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15064408396946566,"compression_ratio":1.6666666666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00098419189453125,"words":[]},{"start":614.04,"end":615.48,"text":" in that way for a few years.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13682245575221239,"compression_ratio":1.673913043478261,"no_speech_prob":0.0006766319274902344,"words":[]},{"start":615.48,"end":619.88,"text":" And then I had to come to a place where I hit rock bottom","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13682245575221239,"compression_ratio":1.673913043478261,"no_speech_prob":0.0006766319274902344,"words":[]},{"start":619.88,"end":621.12,"text":" quite hard.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13682245575221239,"compression_ratio":1.673913043478261,"no_speech_prob":0.0006766319274902344,"words":[]},{"start":621.12,"end":625.88,"text":" And I think God does that sometimes to gracefully break us.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13682245575221239,"compression_ratio":1.673913043478261,"no_speech_prob":0.0006766319274902344,"words":[]},{"start":625.88,"end":629.24,"text":" I don't think that God longs to hurt us.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13682245575221239,"compression_ratio":1.673913043478261,"no_speech_prob":0.0006766319274902344,"words":[]},{"start":629.24,"end":632.12,"text":" But I do think we can sometimes be so stubborn","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13682245575221239,"compression_ratio":1.673913043478261,"no_speech_prob":0.0006766319274902344,"words":[]},{"start":632.12,"end":634.9599999999999,"text":" that there's no way for us to return back to him","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13682245575221239,"compression_ratio":1.673913043478261,"no_speech_prob":0.0006766319274902344,"words":[]},{"start":634.9599999999999,"end":638.36,"text":" unless he takes things away and kind of breaks us down.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13682245575221239,"compression_ratio":1.673913043478261,"no_speech_prob":0.0006766319274902344,"words":[]},{"start":638.36,"end":640.64,"text":" So he can build us back up again.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13682245575221239,"compression_ratio":1.673913043478261,"no_speech_prob":0.0006766319274902344,"words":[]},{"start":641.08,"end":643.8,"text":" So yeah, that's the point that I reached","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16865079365079366,"compression_ratio":1.7228915662650603,"no_speech_prob":0.032012939453125,"words":[]},{"start":643.8,"end":646.36,"text":" where I hit rock bottom and then long story short,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16865079365079366,"compression_ratio":1.7228915662650603,"no_speech_prob":0.032012939453125,"words":[]},{"start":646.36,"end":648.36,"text":" that's where, like the prodigal son,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16865079365079366,"compression_ratio":1.7228915662650603,"no_speech_prob":0.032012939453125,"words":[]},{"start":648.36,"end":650.8,"text":" you know, we all know this story so well.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16865079365079366,"compression_ratio":1.7228915662650603,"no_speech_prob":0.032012939453125,"words":[]},{"start":650.8,"end":653.16,"text":" I realized, okay, I have nothing.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16865079365079366,"compression_ratio":1.7228915662650603,"no_speech_prob":0.032012939453125,"words":[]},{"start":653.16,"end":657.8,"text":" Maybe now I should return to God and go knock on his door,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16865079365079366,"compression_ratio":1.7228915662650603,"no_speech_prob":0.032012939453125,"words":[]},{"start":657.8,"end":661.48,"text":" which I think is quite sad that we have to get to a place","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16865079365079366,"compression_ratio":1.7228915662650603,"no_speech_prob":0.032012939453125,"words":[]},{"start":661.48,"end":663.88,"text":" where we have nothing else before we go to God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16865079365079366,"compression_ratio":1.7228915662650603,"no_speech_prob":0.032012939453125,"words":[]},{"start":663.88,"end":669.68,"text":" Like, think about it, that's such a last choice thing to do","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16865079365079366,"compression_ratio":1.7228915662650603,"no_speech_prob":0.032012939453125,"words":[]},{"start":669.6800000000001,"end":672.48,"text":" to return to someone when you have nothing else left.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":672.48,"end":674.8800000000001,"text":" It's like, now I'll go home, it's so sad.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":674.8800000000001,"end":677.6400000000001,"text":" But God is so kind and gracious and loving","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":677.6400000000001,"end":680.24,"text":" that he does not turn us away in those moments,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":680.24,"end":682.5200000000001,"text":" but that he's already, you know, like in the story","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":682.5200000000001,"end":684.96,"text":" of the prodigal son, as our good father,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":684.96,"end":687.36,"text":" he's already waiting for us down the road","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":687.36,"end":689.24,"text":" with his arms wide open.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":689.24,"end":691.24,"text":" So that's what I got to experience as well.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":691.24,"end":694.0000000000001,"text":" And I'm so grateful for it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":695.0400000000001,"end":698.8800000000001,"text":" I would not be here today if God did not give me a second chance.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12015086206896551,"compression_ratio":1.654109589041096,"no_speech_prob":0.006473541259765625,"words":[]},{"start":698.88,"end":703.88,"text":" So I think that's like everything condensed right there.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":704.2,"end":705.04,"text":" Yeah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":705.04,"end":705.88,"text":" So good.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":705.88,"end":709.2,"text":" And I think like, I think about the,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":709.2,"end":712.4399999999999,"text":" I think about this a lot, how, you know, when we grow up,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":712.4399999999999,"end":714.84,"text":" we have these like big dreams, like big aspirations.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":714.84,"end":716.36,"text":" I want to do this, this and that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":716.36,"end":718.36,"text":" And we, we crave for that independence","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":718.36,"end":720.6,"text":" at like a really young age, like we all want to grow up","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":720.6,"end":722.68,"text":" so quickly, we want to grow up fast","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":722.68,"end":725.44,"text":" because we think like, when I'm 18,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":725.44,"end":727.12,"text":" like that's when I'll have like the freedom","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19968971631205673,"compression_ratio":1.856,"no_speech_prob":0.00823974609375,"words":[]},{"start":727.16,"end":729.16,"text":" and I have like the stuff that I can really want,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16685267857142858,"compression_ratio":1.8976377952755905,"no_speech_prob":0.008392333984375,"words":[]},{"start":729.16,"end":732.24,"text":" like I can have my own phone, like I can have my own friends,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16685267857142858,"compression_ratio":1.8976377952755905,"no_speech_prob":0.008392333984375,"words":[]},{"start":732.24,"end":735.08,"text":" I can have my own car, like I can do whatever I want.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16685267857142858,"compression_ratio":1.8976377952755905,"no_speech_prob":0.008392333984375,"words":[]},{"start":735.08,"end":737.24,"text":" But actually, like when we get the thing","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16685267857142858,"compression_ratio":1.8976377952755905,"no_speech_prob":0.008392333984375,"words":[]},{"start":737.24,"end":739.36,"text":" and when we get the freedom,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16685267857142858,"compression_ratio":1.8976377952755905,"no_speech_prob":0.008392333984375,"words":[]},{"start":739.36,"end":742.08,"text":" sometimes we're not equipped enough to deal with that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16685267857142858,"compression_ratio":1.8976377952755905,"no_speech_prob":0.008392333984375,"words":[]},{"start":742.08,"end":745.28,"text":" And we don't have the tools to stew with that very well.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16685267857142858,"compression_ratio":1.8976377952755905,"no_speech_prob":0.008392333984375,"words":[]},{"start":745.28,"end":747.24,"text":" And I think that's how I felt like","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16685267857142858,"compression_ratio":1.8976377952755905,"no_speech_prob":0.008392333984375,"words":[]},{"start":747.24,"end":748.68,"text":" when I got to university, I was like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16685267857142858,"compression_ratio":1.8976377952755905,"no_speech_prob":0.008392333984375,"words":[]},{"start":748.68,"end":753.6800000000001,"text":" I finally like, this is my time to build myself, make myself.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16685267857142858,"compression_ratio":1.8976377952755905,"no_speech_prob":0.008392333984375,"words":[]},{"start":753.8800000000001,"end":757.0000000000001,"text":" And it's funny how you talked about like in the,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13739224137931033,"compression_ratio":1.8548387096774193,"no_speech_prob":0.0207672119140625,"words":[]},{"start":757.0000000000001,"end":761.32,"text":" like God can almost take things away to break things down","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13739224137931033,"compression_ratio":1.8548387096774193,"no_speech_prob":0.0207672119140625,"words":[]},{"start":761.32,"end":763.6800000000001,"text":" and then you realize how much like you really need him.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13739224137931033,"compression_ratio":1.8548387096774193,"no_speech_prob":0.0207672119140625,"words":[]},{"start":763.6800000000001,"end":767.2800000000001,"text":" Like in that season of being away at university,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13739224137931033,"compression_ratio":1.8548387096774193,"no_speech_prob":0.0207672119140625,"words":[]},{"start":767.2800000000001,"end":770.36,"text":" that was the time where God was able to show you","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13739224137931033,"compression_ratio":1.8548387096774193,"no_speech_prob":0.0207672119140625,"words":[]},{"start":770.36,"end":772.32,"text":" that you actually needed him.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13739224137931033,"compression_ratio":1.8548387096774193,"no_speech_prob":0.0207672119140625,"words":[]},{"start":772.32,"end":776.8800000000001,"text":" And I think sometimes like we often do it like isolation,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13739224137931033,"compression_ratio":1.8548387096774193,"no_speech_prob":0.0207672119140625,"words":[]},{"start":776.8800000000001,"end":779.1600000000001,"text":" but sometimes isolation can be the making of you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13739224137931033,"compression_ratio":1.8548387096774193,"no_speech_prob":0.0207672119140625,"words":[]},{"start":779.1600000000001,"end":782.5600000000001,"text":" Like when you're actually away from everything that you know,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13739224137931033,"compression_ratio":1.8548387096774193,"no_speech_prob":0.0207672119140625,"words":[]},{"start":782.5600000000001,"end":784.0400000000001,"text":" you have nothing else to lean on,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":784.0400000000001,"end":786.36,"text":" but like your own faith, what do I believe?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":786.36,"end":788.48,"text":" Like what is my relationship with God?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":788.48,"end":790.5200000000001,"text":" And that gets exposed.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":790.5200000000001,"end":793.1600000000001,"text":" But actually it's not a thing to like make you feel bad","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":793.1600000000001,"end":794.5200000000001,"text":" or make you feel shame.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":794.5200000000001,"end":796.5200000000001,"text":" It should actually be an invitation for you","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":796.5200000000001,"end":798.84,"text":" to realize I desperately need God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":798.84,"end":800.8000000000001,"text":" And I need to go back to him.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":800.8000000000001,"end":801.6400000000001,"text":" Yeah, I don't know.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":801.6400000000001,"end":803.8000000000001,"text":" There's something about like the running away from like","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":803.8000000000001,"end":805.5600000000001,"text":" what we know and what's comforting to us,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":805.5600000000001,"end":807.2,"text":" whether it's your hometown or whatever.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":807.2,"end":809.6,"text":" Because we think that that's the thing that will make us","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":809.6,"end":811.72,"text":" better or like give us everything we need.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12921779141104295,"compression_ratio":1.7492537313432837,"no_speech_prob":0.004566192626953125,"words":[]},{"start":811.72,"end":814.1600000000001,"text":" But actually it's one where alone and when we're by ourselves,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":814.1600000000001,"end":817.9200000000001,"text":" if we realize actually I need God more than I ever thought I did.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":817.9200000000001,"end":819.08,"text":" And I'm listening to your story","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":819.08,"end":821.12,"text":" and I'm realizing that's very similar to mine.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":822.36,"end":823.9200000000001,"text":" Yeah, actually I've so similar.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":823.9200000000001,"end":825.84,"text":" I think we can all relate like being a young adult,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":825.84,"end":827.96,"text":" we want independence, we want to be by ourselves.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":827.96,"end":829.0400000000001,"text":" But then when we are by ourselves,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":829.0400000000001,"end":831.6800000000001,"text":" we realize actually independence is not the answer.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":831.6800000000001,"end":832.96,"text":" The answer is God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":832.96,"end":834.4,"text":" Actually need to be dependent.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":834.4,"end":836.52,"text":" Like it's independence isn't the thing I need.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":836.52,"end":838.32,"text":" I need dependence on God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":839.48,"end":840.32,"text":" Yeah, I don't know.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2552734375,"compression_ratio":1.9689655172413794,"no_speech_prob":0.004947662353515625,"words":[]},{"start":840.32,"end":842.96,"text":" I think that's a really cool threat in your story.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.27653769841269843,"compression_ratio":1.7011494252873562,"no_speech_prob":0.01473236083984375,"words":[]},{"start":842.96,"end":843.5600000000001,"text":" Yeah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.27653769841269843,"compression_ratio":1.7011494252873562,"no_speech_prob":0.01473236083984375,"words":[]},{"start":843.5600000000001,"end":846.6400000000001,"text":" And you're no longer like sort of riding off of other people's faith.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.27653769841269843,"compression_ratio":1.7011494252873562,"no_speech_prob":0.01473236083984375,"words":[]},{"start":846.6400000000001,"end":849.9200000000001,"text":" You're almost like checked into an environment where you're like forced","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.27653769841269843,"compression_ratio":1.7011494252873562,"no_speech_prob":0.01473236083984375,"words":[]},{"start":849.9200000000001,"end":854.5200000000001,"text":" to figure like yourself out and find who God really is for you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.27653769841269843,"compression_ratio":1.7011494252873562,"no_speech_prob":0.01473236083984375,"words":[]},{"start":854.5200000000001,"end":855.5200000000001,"text":" That's it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.27653769841269843,"compression_ratio":1.7011494252873562,"no_speech_prob":0.01473236083984375,"words":[]},{"start":855.5200000000001,"end":858.8000000000001,"text":" And what was that moment like for you to be aware of where you were like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.27653769841269843,"compression_ratio":1.7011494252873562,"no_speech_prob":0.01473236083984375,"words":[]},{"start":858.8000000000001,"end":860.9200000000001,"text":" oh, I've just hit rock bottom.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.27653769841269843,"compression_ratio":1.7011494252873562,"no_speech_prob":0.01473236083984375,"words":[]},{"start":860.9200000000001,"end":863.36,"text":" I feel like I really need God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.27653769841269843,"compression_ratio":1.7011494252873562,"no_speech_prob":0.01473236083984375,"words":[]},{"start":863.36,"end":865.1600000000001,"text":" Yeah, that's such a good question.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.27653769841269843,"compression_ratio":1.7011494252873562,"no_speech_prob":0.01473236083984375,"words":[]},{"start":866,"end":873.28,"text":" So what that looked like for me is I was stuck in this lifestyle of","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.22126436781609196,"compression_ratio":1.6995073891625616,"no_speech_prob":0.0187835693359375,"words":[]},{"start":874.3199999999999,"end":878.52,"text":" getting validation from places outside of God like I mentioned.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.22126436781609196,"compression_ratio":1.6995073891625616,"no_speech_prob":0.0187835693359375,"words":[]},{"start":878.52,"end":882.16,"text":" So what that looked like for me was on social media,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.22126436781609196,"compression_ratio":1.6995073891625616,"no_speech_prob":0.0187835693359375,"words":[]},{"start":882.16,"end":885.28,"text":" I was always posting pictures of myself and looking for the likes","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.22126436781609196,"compression_ratio":1.6995073891625616,"no_speech_prob":0.0187835693359375,"words":[]},{"start":885.28,"end":887.1999999999999,"text":" and I wanted certain guys to respond.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.22126436781609196,"compression_ratio":1.6995073891625616,"no_speech_prob":0.0187835693359375,"words":[]},{"start":887.1999999999999,"end":890.1999999999999,"text":" I'm sure that a lot of girls our age can relate to that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.22126436781609196,"compression_ratio":1.6995073891625616,"no_speech_prob":0.0187835693359375,"words":[]},{"start":890.6,"end":893.4000000000001,"text":" And I was partying.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1875,"compression_ratio":1.742063492063492,"no_speech_prob":0.019378662109375,"words":[]},{"start":893.4000000000001,"end":898.5600000000001,"text":" I came home at like I remember one day I came home at 11 in the morning,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1875,"compression_ratio":1.742063492063492,"no_speech_prob":0.019378662109375,"words":[]},{"start":898.5600000000001,"end":900.5200000000001,"text":" which was like to me, that was late,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1875,"compression_ratio":1.742063492063492,"no_speech_prob":0.019378662109375,"words":[]},{"start":900.5200000000001,"end":906.12,"text":" but I would hang out in places in London where like a lot of celebrities go","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1875,"compression_ratio":1.742063492063492,"no_speech_prob":0.019378662109375,"words":[]},{"start":906.12,"end":908.5600000000001,"text":" and I would find that so cool like to tell my friends,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1875,"compression_ratio":1.742063492063492,"no_speech_prob":0.019378662109375,"words":[]},{"start":908.5600000000001,"end":910.6400000000001,"text":" guess who I saw the next day blah, blah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1875,"compression_ratio":1.742063492063492,"no_speech_prob":0.019378662109375,"words":[]},{"start":910.6400000000001,"end":915.24,"text":" I was just stuck in the cycle that was so superficial and the thing","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1875,"compression_ratio":1.742063492063492,"no_speech_prob":0.019378662109375,"words":[]},{"start":915.24,"end":919.9200000000001,"text":" that I can see now is all of these things that you think are going to","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1875,"compression_ratio":1.742063492063492,"no_speech_prob":0.019378662109375,"words":[]},{"start":919.9200000000001,"end":921.6,"text":" give you validation and freedom.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16509205426356588,"compression_ratio":1.873134328358209,"no_speech_prob":0.004390716552734375,"words":[]},{"start":921.6,"end":922.5600000000001,"text":" Like you mentioned,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16509205426356588,"compression_ratio":1.873134328358209,"no_speech_prob":0.004390716552734375,"words":[]},{"start":922.5600000000001,"end":926.9200000000001,"text":" Kenya are the things that actually leave you more empty afterwards.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16509205426356588,"compression_ratio":1.873134328358209,"no_speech_prob":0.004390716552734375,"words":[]},{"start":926.9200000000001,"end":928.6,"text":" But in the moment you don't see that,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16509205426356588,"compression_ratio":1.873134328358209,"no_speech_prob":0.004390716552734375,"words":[]},{"start":928.6,"end":932.6400000000001,"text":" that it actually makes things worse and you have to keep it going","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16509205426356588,"compression_ratio":1.873134328358209,"no_speech_prob":0.004390716552734375,"words":[]},{"start":932.6400000000001,"end":938.2,"text":" because otherwise, you're kind of left in the silence","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16509205426356588,"compression_ratio":1.873134328358209,"no_speech_prob":0.004390716552734375,"words":[]},{"start":938.2,"end":941.3600000000001,"text":" and you have to face your actions and see that this is not working.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16509205426356588,"compression_ratio":1.873134328358209,"no_speech_prob":0.004390716552734375,"words":[]},{"start":941.3600000000001,"end":944.7600000000001,"text":" So a lot of people who live these lifestyles have to keep it going","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16509205426356588,"compression_ratio":1.873134328358209,"no_speech_prob":0.004390716552734375,"words":[]},{"start":944.7600000000001,"end":947.44,"text":" and they have to go out again and do the next thing","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16509205426356588,"compression_ratio":1.873134328358209,"no_speech_prob":0.004390716552734375,"words":[]},{"start":947.44,"end":948.96,"text":" because you don't want that silence.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16509205426356588,"compression_ratio":1.873134328358209,"no_speech_prob":0.004390716552734375,"words":[]},{"start":948.96,"end":954.08,"text":" You know, I could see myself in that and I remember that one day I came home","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16322115384615385,"compression_ratio":1.71484375,"no_speech_prob":0.0029754638671875,"words":[]},{"start":954.08,"end":956.48,"text":" at like 11 in the morning and I just sat in my bed.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16322115384615385,"compression_ratio":1.71484375,"no_speech_prob":0.0029754638671875,"words":[]},{"start":956.48,"end":961.24,"text":" I was living in this box room at the time because I mean, it's a it's a long story","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16322115384615385,"compression_ratio":1.71484375,"no_speech_prob":0.0029754638671875,"words":[]},{"start":961.24,"end":964.48,"text":" but I kind of when I hit rock bottom,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16322115384615385,"compression_ratio":1.71484375,"no_speech_prob":0.0029754638671875,"words":[]},{"start":964.48,"end":966.32,"text":" I didn't have a room in London.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16322115384615385,"compression_ratio":1.71484375,"no_speech_prob":0.0029754638671875,"words":[]},{"start":966.32,"end":968.2800000000001,"text":" My housing situation back home,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16322115384615385,"compression_ratio":1.71484375,"no_speech_prob":0.0029754638671875,"words":[]},{"start":968.2800000000001,"end":970.64,"text":" me and my mom don't have the best relationship.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16322115384615385,"compression_ratio":1.71484375,"no_speech_prob":0.0029754638671875,"words":[]},{"start":970.64,"end":977.36,"text":" I don't have a dad so I kind of had to I ended up in this box room in London,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16322115384615385,"compression_ratio":1.71484375,"no_speech_prob":0.0029754638671875,"words":[]},{"start":977.36,"end":985.76,"text":" basically and I was just sitting in my bed looking at my stuff piled up in the corner","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.155546875,"compression_ratio":1.603448275862069,"no_speech_prob":0.001895904541015625,"words":[]},{"start":985.76,"end":990.4,"text":" and you know, coming home so late, I was tired and I just had this thought of","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.155546875,"compression_ratio":1.603448275862069,"no_speech_prob":0.001895904541015625,"words":[]},{"start":990.4,"end":992.8000000000001,"text":" how am I going to keep this going?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.155546875,"compression_ratio":1.603448275862069,"no_speech_prob":0.001895904541015625,"words":[]},{"start":992.8000000000001,"end":995.8000000000001,"text":" Like surely there's more to life than this.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.155546875,"compression_ratio":1.603448275862069,"no_speech_prob":0.001895904541015625,"words":[]},{"start":995.8000000000001,"end":1000.48,"text":" I'm tired, I'm exhausted with my actions like it's not working.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.155546875,"compression_ratio":1.603448275862069,"no_speech_prob":0.001895904541015625,"words":[]},{"start":1000.48,"end":1004.88,"text":" Again, something that I was doing was finding validation in guys.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.155546875,"compression_ratio":1.603448275862069,"no_speech_prob":0.001895904541015625,"words":[]},{"start":1004.92,"end":1008.4,"text":" I want it guys to tell me that I was enough that I was good enough to stay","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16473214285714285,"compression_ratio":1.7083333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.0027561187744140625,"words":[]},{"start":1008.4,"end":1013.28,"text":" because my dad never told me those things but then the guys that I was trying to chase","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16473214285714285,"compression_ratio":1.7083333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.0027561187744140625,"words":[]},{"start":1013.28,"end":1018.64,"text":" were also not giving me that validation and I was just tired.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16473214285714285,"compression_ratio":1.7083333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.0027561187744140625,"words":[]},{"start":1018.64,"end":1026.72,"text":" I just yeah, I felt like I couldn't do this anymore and that's where that still small voice","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16473214285714285,"compression_ratio":1.7083333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.0027561187744140625,"words":[]},{"start":1026.72,"end":1032.88,"text":" of the Lord of God spoke to me so clearly and you know, in the moment it's just like a thought","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16473214285714285,"compression_ratio":1.7083333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.0027561187744140625,"words":[]},{"start":1032.88,"end":1034,"text":" that pops into your mind.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12852443609022557,"compression_ratio":1.7328244274809161,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":1034,"end":1036.5600000000002,"text":" It's not this like crazy moment of like God spoke to me.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12852443609022557,"compression_ratio":1.7328244274809161,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":1036.5600000000002,"end":1038.16,"text":" I heard this voice from heaven.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12852443609022557,"compression_ratio":1.7328244274809161,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":1038.16,"end":1044.48,"text":" It was just a thought that was placed into my mind that kind of said Dabora,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12852443609022557,"compression_ratio":1.7328244274809161,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":1045.6000000000001,"end":1048.48,"text":" clearly this lifestyle is not working, right?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12852443609022557,"compression_ratio":1.7328244274809161,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":1048.48,"end":1051.3600000000001,"text":" You've tried it all, you're tired, it's not working out for you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12852443609022557,"compression_ratio":1.7328244274809161,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":1051.3600000000001,"end":1053.7600000000002,"text":" Why don't you return back to God?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12852443609022557,"compression_ratio":1.7328244274809161,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":1053.7600000000002,"end":1055.5200000000002,"text":" Why don't you come back to me?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12852443609022557,"compression_ratio":1.7328244274809161,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":1055.5200000000002,"end":1059.92,"text":" Give that you're all and if that does not work, go back to the life you're living now.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12852443609022557,"compression_ratio":1.7328244274809161,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":1059.92,"end":1063.52,"text":" Like you have nothing to lose kind of thing and I remember at that time,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12009447674418605,"compression_ratio":1.7352941176470589,"no_speech_prob":0.00689697265625,"words":[]},{"start":1064.8000000000002,"end":1069.8400000000001,"text":" I would call myself a lukewarm Christian so I would still say that I was a Christian.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12009447674418605,"compression_ratio":1.7352941176470589,"no_speech_prob":0.00689697265625,"words":[]},{"start":1070.5600000000002,"end":1074,"text":" If people ask me like what's your faith, I would say a Christian but you couldn't see that","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12009447674418605,"compression_ratio":1.7352941176470589,"no_speech_prob":0.00689697265625,"words":[]},{"start":1074,"end":1076.8000000000002,"text":" anywhere in my life, right? I wasn't living out the word.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12009447674418605,"compression_ratio":1.7352941176470589,"no_speech_prob":0.00689697265625,"words":[]},{"start":1076.8000000000002,"end":1078.64,"text":" I did not believe God's promises.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12009447674418605,"compression_ratio":1.7352941176470589,"no_speech_prob":0.00689697265625,"words":[]},{"start":1078.64,"end":1082.16,"text":" I didn't believe that God loved me even though I heard it so often in church.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12009447674418605,"compression_ratio":1.7352941176470589,"no_speech_prob":0.00689697265625,"words":[]},{"start":1082.16,"end":1085.1200000000001,"text":" Like I was lukewarm, that's how I would describe it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12009447674418605,"compression_ratio":1.7352941176470589,"no_speech_prob":0.00689697265625,"words":[]},{"start":1085.1200000000001,"end":1092.5600000000002,"text":" But I was still going to church and following like social media pages that would post Bible","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15198131443298968,"compression_ratio":1.580392156862745,"no_speech_prob":0.0006985664367675781,"words":[]},{"start":1092.5600000000002,"end":1098.88,"text":" scriptures and the Bible verse that kept coming up was Matthew 6 verse 33, which says,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15198131443298968,"compression_ratio":1.580392156862745,"no_speech_prob":0.0006985664367675781,"words":[]},{"start":1098.88,"end":1103.6000000000001,"text":" seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added onto you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15198131443298968,"compression_ratio":1.580392156862745,"no_speech_prob":0.0006985664367675781,"words":[]},{"start":1103.6000000000001,"end":1106.3200000000002,"text":" And it just kept pulping up in random places.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15198131443298968,"compression_ratio":1.580392156862745,"no_speech_prob":0.0006985664367675781,"words":[]},{"start":1106.88,"end":1112.0000000000002,"text":" So then while this thought came into my mind of like, you know, give me your all,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15198131443298968,"compression_ratio":1.580392156862745,"no_speech_prob":0.0006985664367675781,"words":[]},{"start":1112,"end":1116.4,"text":" that Bible verse was kind of clung to it like, give me your everything.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1121608527131783,"compression_ratio":1.7490774907749078,"no_speech_prob":0.005218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1116.4,"end":1119.12,"text":" And I will make sure that you have everything you need.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1121608527131783,"compression_ratio":1.7490774907749078,"no_speech_prob":0.005218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1119.12,"end":1123.6,"text":" The things that you're now in your own strength trying to obtain come to me.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1121608527131783,"compression_ratio":1.7490774907749078,"no_speech_prob":0.005218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1123.6,"end":1125.36,"text":" And I'll make sure you have that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1121608527131783,"compression_ratio":1.7490774907749078,"no_speech_prob":0.005218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1125.36,"end":1129.04,"text":" And because I had nothing to lose in that moment, I was like, you know what?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1121608527131783,"compression_ratio":1.7490774907749078,"no_speech_prob":0.005218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1129.04,"end":1134.16,"text":" I don't think as humans we can say that we've tried something fully unless we've given it our all.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1121608527131783,"compression_ratio":1.7490774907749078,"no_speech_prob":0.005218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1134.72,"end":1137.76,"text":" And if I looked up my journey with God, I hadn't done that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1121608527131783,"compression_ratio":1.7490774907749078,"no_speech_prob":0.005218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1137.84,"end":1143.52,"text":" Like you kind of mentioned before Michelle, I had, when you grow up in a Christian household,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1487215909090909,"compression_ratio":1.5933609958506223,"no_speech_prob":0.006687164306640625,"words":[]},{"start":1144.4,"end":1151.2,"text":" you kind of get passed on the faith of your parents, but it's not your personal experience,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1487215909090909,"compression_ratio":1.5933609958506223,"no_speech_prob":0.006687164306640625,"words":[]},{"start":1151.2,"end":1152.16,"text":" right? Yeah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1487215909090909,"compression_ratio":1.5933609958506223,"no_speech_prob":0.006687164306640625,"words":[]},{"start":1152.16,"end":1156.32,"text":" So I could see that I hadn't had that personal walk with God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1487215909090909,"compression_ratio":1.5933609958506223,"no_speech_prob":0.006687164306640625,"words":[]},{"start":1156.32,"end":1157.76,"text":" So how could I say that?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1487215909090909,"compression_ratio":1.5933609958506223,"no_speech_prob":0.006687164306640625,"words":[]},{"start":1157.76,"end":1161.2,"text":" I gave the Lord a chance when I hadn't.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1487215909090909,"compression_ratio":1.5933609958506223,"no_speech_prob":0.006687164306640625,"words":[]},{"start":1161.2,"end":1162,"text":" Yeah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1487215909090909,"compression_ratio":1.5933609958506223,"no_speech_prob":0.006687164306640625,"words":[]},{"start":1162,"end":1164.4,"text":" So in that moment, I remember I just went on Amazon.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1487215909090909,"compression_ratio":1.5933609958506223,"no_speech_prob":0.006687164306640625,"words":[]},{"start":1164.4,"end":1165.3600000000001,"text":" I got a Bible again.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11832157258064516,"compression_ratio":1.62109375,"no_speech_prob":0.004467010498046875,"words":[]},{"start":1165.3600000000001,"end":1167.76,"text":" I didn't even have a physical Bible anymore.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11832157258064516,"compression_ratio":1.62109375,"no_speech_prob":0.004467010498046875,"words":[]},{"start":1167.76,"end":1169.76,"text":" And I just kind of isolated myself.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11832157258064516,"compression_ratio":1.62109375,"no_speech_prob":0.004467010498046875,"words":[]},{"start":1169.76,"end":1171.1200000000001,"text":" I was like, okay, let's do this.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11832157258064516,"compression_ratio":1.62109375,"no_speech_prob":0.004467010498046875,"words":[]},{"start":1171.1200000000001,"end":1172.3200000000002,"text":" Let's give this a try.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11832157258064516,"compression_ratio":1.62109375,"no_speech_prob":0.004467010498046875,"words":[]},{"start":1172.3200000000002,"end":1175.6000000000001,"text":" And if it does not work, then I can just go back, you know?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11832157258064516,"compression_ratio":1.62109375,"no_speech_prob":0.004467010498046875,"words":[]},{"start":1176.72,"end":1183.1200000000001,"text":" And I mentioned like I gave God a chance, but obviously it was him who gave me another chance, right?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11832157258064516,"compression_ratio":1.62109375,"no_speech_prob":0.004467010498046875,"words":[]},{"start":1184.16,"end":1188,"text":" And it's in that moment where things just started to change.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11832157258064516,"compression_ratio":1.62109375,"no_speech_prob":0.004467010498046875,"words":[]},{"start":1188,"end":1192.0800000000002,"text":" I saw that the Bible is the truth.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11832157258064516,"compression_ratio":1.62109375,"no_speech_prob":0.004467010498046875,"words":[]},{"start":1192.08,"end":1195.04,"text":" And when you live by it, you see the fruits of it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13877952755905512,"compression_ratio":1.6884615384615385,"no_speech_prob":0.0219268798828125,"words":[]},{"start":1195.04,"end":1198,"text":" So Matthew 6 verse 33, seek first the kingdom of God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13877952755905512,"compression_ratio":1.6884615384615385,"no_speech_prob":0.0219268798828125,"words":[]},{"start":1198,"end":1199.4399999999998,"text":" I started to do that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13877952755905512,"compression_ratio":1.6884615384615385,"no_speech_prob":0.0219268798828125,"words":[]},{"start":1199.4399999999998,"end":1204.1599999999999,"text":" And then slowly, but surely, everything else around me started to shift.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13877952755905512,"compression_ratio":1.6884615384615385,"no_speech_prob":0.0219268798828125,"words":[]},{"start":1204.1599999999999,"end":1207.76,"text":" And God started to do, to do a work within me when it came","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13877952755905512,"compression_ratio":1.6884615384615385,"no_speech_prob":0.0219268798828125,"words":[]},{"start":1207.76,"end":1209.6,"text":" to finding validation in guys.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13877952755905512,"compression_ratio":1.6884615384615385,"no_speech_prob":0.0219268798828125,"words":[]},{"start":1209.6,"end":1214.56,"text":" And having that father wound, God really started to show me, I'm your father.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13877952755905512,"compression_ratio":1.6884615384615385,"no_speech_prob":0.0219268798828125,"words":[]},{"start":1214.56,"end":1217.52,"text":" You can cling to me in that, expect me to show up.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13877952755905512,"compression_ratio":1.6884615384615385,"no_speech_prob":0.0219268798828125,"words":[]},{"start":1217.52,"end":1218.8799999999999,"text":" And I will be there.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13877952755905512,"compression_ratio":1.6884615384615385,"no_speech_prob":0.0219268798828125,"words":[]},{"start":1218.96,"end":1223.68,"text":" And it was a very slow process of kind of detoxing all of the things that I had clung to.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12512913223140495,"compression_ratio":1.704626334519573,"no_speech_prob":0.01184844970703125,"words":[]},{"start":1224.3200000000002,"end":1228.5600000000002,"text":" But yeah, slowly, but surely, things were just shifting.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12512913223140495,"compression_ratio":1.704626334519573,"no_speech_prob":0.01184844970703125,"words":[]},{"start":1228.5600000000002,"end":1230.8000000000002,"text":" And my desire for things started to change.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12512913223140495,"compression_ratio":1.704626334519573,"no_speech_prob":0.01184844970703125,"words":[]},{"start":1230.8000000000002,"end":1234.64,"text":" And these places that I was hanging out at, I remember one time specifically,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12512913223140495,"compression_ratio":1.704626334519573,"no_speech_prob":0.01184844970703125,"words":[]},{"start":1234.64,"end":1239.2800000000002,"text":" I was at this bar in London where, you know, all these celebrities would be.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12512913223140495,"compression_ratio":1.704626334519573,"no_speech_prob":0.01184844970703125,"words":[]},{"start":1239.2800000000002,"end":1242.5600000000002,"text":" And I was sitting there listening to this girl talking to me.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12512913223140495,"compression_ratio":1.704626334519573,"no_speech_prob":0.01184844970703125,"words":[]},{"start":1242.5600000000002,"end":1246.96,"text":" And the conversations that you have with people are very surface level.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12512913223140495,"compression_ratio":1.704626334519573,"no_speech_prob":0.01184844970703125,"words":[]},{"start":1247.04,"end":1250.16,"text":" And something that I saw people would do with me all the time is,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1250.16,"end":1251.76,"text":" I like to listen to people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1251.76,"end":1254.88,"text":" And there was one girl who said, oh, um,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1255.8400000000001,"end":1258.8,"text":" Debora, like, you're such a good friend.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1258.8,"end":1260.56,"text":" Like, I really enjoy spending time with you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1260.56,"end":1261.2,"text":" You're so great.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1261.2,"end":1263.1200000000001,"text":" And I was like, you haven't even asked me one question.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1263.1200000000001,"end":1264.48,"text":" You don't know anything about me.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1265.3600000000001,"end":1268.72,"text":" And I think that's when the veil kind of got pulled away,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1268.72,"end":1270,"text":" where I was just looking around.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1270,"end":1271.68,"text":" And I was like, what am I doing here?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1271.68,"end":1273.1200000000001,"text":" Why am I here?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1343107876712329,"compression_ratio":1.6881720430107527,"no_speech_prob":0.0041961669921875,"words":[]},{"start":1273.2,"end":1277.3600000000001,"text":" So this place that I had found comfort in being,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10248161764705882,"compression_ratio":1.7330677290836654,"no_speech_prob":0.005214691162109375,"words":[]},{"start":1277.3600000000001,"end":1280.64,"text":" I now could see the veil being pulled away from that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10248161764705882,"compression_ratio":1.7330677290836654,"no_speech_prob":0.005214691162109375,"words":[]},{"start":1280.64,"end":1282.16,"text":" And I saw things for what they were.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10248161764705882,"compression_ratio":1.7330677290836654,"no_speech_prob":0.005214691162109375,"words":[]},{"start":1282.16,"end":1283.92,"text":" And that was the last time I ever went there.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10248161764705882,"compression_ratio":1.7330677290836654,"no_speech_prob":0.005214691162109375,"words":[]},{"start":1283.92,"end":1285.92,"text":" Because I was like, I don't need this anymore.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10248161764705882,"compression_ratio":1.7330677290836654,"no_speech_prob":0.005214691162109375,"words":[]},{"start":1285.92,"end":1290.64,"text":" Because now I'm, I get to spend time with the actual source of life.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10248161764705882,"compression_ratio":1.7330677290836654,"no_speech_prob":0.005214691162109375,"words":[]},{"start":1290.64,"end":1293.7600000000002,"text":" And spending time with Jesus is actually changing things.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10248161764705882,"compression_ratio":1.7330677290836654,"no_speech_prob":0.005214691162109375,"words":[]},{"start":1293.7600000000002,"end":1298.0800000000002,"text":" So why would I want this like counterfeit stuff","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10248161764705882,"compression_ratio":1.7330677290836654,"no_speech_prob":0.005214691162109375,"words":[]},{"start":1298.0800000000002,"end":1299.8400000000001,"text":" when I have the real thing?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10248161764705882,"compression_ratio":1.7330677290836654,"no_speech_prob":0.005214691162109375,"words":[]},{"start":1300.56,"end":1304.1599999999999,"text":" So yeah, that's where I came back to Christ.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17907608695652175,"compression_ratio":1.5755102040816327,"no_speech_prob":0.06640625,"words":[]},{"start":1304.1599999999999,"end":1307.84,"text":" And since then, I mean, my whole life has just turned upside down.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17907608695652175,"compression_ratio":1.5755102040816327,"no_speech_prob":0.06640625,"words":[]},{"start":1307.84,"end":1309.84,"text":" I think that is so profound.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17907608695652175,"compression_ratio":1.5755102040816327,"no_speech_prob":0.06640625,"words":[]},{"start":1309.84,"end":1314.3999999999999,"text":" Like, for me, Matthew 6.83 has been a really transformative","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17907608695652175,"compression_ratio":1.5755102040816327,"no_speech_prob":0.06640625,"words":[]},{"start":1314.3999999999999,"end":1316,"text":" like scripture in my life.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17907608695652175,"compression_ratio":1.5755102040816327,"no_speech_prob":0.06640625,"words":[]},{"start":1316,"end":1319.84,"text":" And I think the Lord is just so,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17907608695652175,"compression_ratio":1.5755102040816327,"no_speech_prob":0.06640625,"words":[]},{"start":1319.84,"end":1322.6399999999999,"text":" like, he thinks of things before we can even think of them.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17907608695652175,"compression_ratio":1.5755102040816327,"no_speech_prob":0.06640625,"words":[]},{"start":1322.6399999999999,"end":1325.1999999999998,"text":" Like, he just knows how it goes.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17907608695652175,"compression_ratio":1.5755102040816327,"no_speech_prob":0.06640625,"words":[]},{"start":1325.1999999999998,"end":1326.8799999999999,"text":" He knows the best things for us.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17907608695652175,"compression_ratio":1.5755102040816327,"no_speech_prob":0.06640625,"words":[]},{"start":1327.44,"end":1331.44,"text":" I think the searching for the validation","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14858217592592593,"compression_ratio":1.8676470588235294,"no_speech_prob":0.14990234375,"words":[]},{"start":1331.44,"end":1335.2800000000002,"text":" in, like, distorted places is so relatable,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14858217592592593,"compression_ratio":1.8676470588235294,"no_speech_prob":0.14990234375,"words":[]},{"start":1335.2800000000002,"end":1337.7600000000002,"text":" like searching for the likes, the approval.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14858217592592593,"compression_ratio":1.8676470588235294,"no_speech_prob":0.14990234375,"words":[]},{"start":1338.88,"end":1342.3200000000002,"text":" Because as human beings, we crave to be loved.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14858217592592593,"compression_ratio":1.8676470588235294,"no_speech_prob":0.14990234375,"words":[]},{"start":1342.3200000000002,"end":1344.3200000000002,"text":" It's not wrong to want to be loved.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14858217592592593,"compression_ratio":1.8676470588235294,"no_speech_prob":0.14990234375,"words":[]},{"start":1344.3200000000002,"end":1345.92,"text":" It's not wrong to want connection.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14858217592592593,"compression_ratio":1.8676470588235294,"no_speech_prob":0.14990234375,"words":[]},{"start":1345.92,"end":1347.7600000000002,"text":" It's not wrong to want to be seen.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14858217592592593,"compression_ratio":1.8676470588235294,"no_speech_prob":0.14990234375,"words":[]},{"start":1347.7600000000002,"end":1350.5600000000002,"text":" Like, these are all things that we need as people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14858217592592593,"compression_ratio":1.8676470588235294,"no_speech_prob":0.14990234375,"words":[]},{"start":1350.5600000000002,"end":1353.7600000000002,"text":" Like God's designed us that way to receive love.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14858217592592593,"compression_ratio":1.8676470588235294,"no_speech_prob":0.14990234375,"words":[]},{"start":1353.84,"end":1357.68,"text":" But it's going to the wrong places to meet those needs.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13462334437086093,"compression_ratio":1.8493150684931507,"no_speech_prob":0.06427001953125,"words":[]},{"start":1357.68,"end":1360.8,"text":" Because more damage is done when we go to the wrong places.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13462334437086093,"compression_ratio":1.8493150684931507,"no_speech_prob":0.06427001953125,"words":[]},{"start":1360.8,"end":1363.12,"text":" Because like you said, you just keep chasing it, chasing it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13462334437086093,"compression_ratio":1.8493150684931507,"no_speech_prob":0.06427001953125,"words":[]},{"start":1363.12,"end":1366,"text":" And it's like, you're on this another ending treadmill","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13462334437086093,"compression_ratio":1.8493150684931507,"no_speech_prob":0.06427001953125,"words":[]},{"start":1366,"end":1366.8,"text":" and you're tired.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13462334437086093,"compression_ratio":1.8493150684931507,"no_speech_prob":0.06427001953125,"words":[]},{"start":1366.8,"end":1368.96,"text":" And like, you get to the end of yourself at 11 a.m.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13462334437086093,"compression_ratio":1.8493150684931507,"no_speech_prob":0.06427001953125,"words":[]},{"start":1368.96,"end":1370.48,"text":" and you're sitting in your bed 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first,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16804245283018868,"compression_ratio":1.9545454545454546,"no_speech_prob":0.0108642578125,"words":[]},{"start":1400.6399999999999,"end":1402.56,"text":" it kind of reminds me of that scripture from Revelation","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16804245283018868,"compression_ratio":1.9545454545454546,"no_speech_prob":0.0108642578125,"words":[]},{"start":1402.56,"end":1404.56,"text":" where it's like, you guys did all these things.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16804245283018868,"compression_ratio":1.9545454545454546,"no_speech_prob":0.0108642578125,"words":[]},{"start":1404.56,"end":1406.3999999999999,"text":" Jesus speaking to one of the churches.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16804245283018868,"compression_ratio":1.9545454545454546,"no_speech_prob":0.0108642578125,"words":[]},{"start":1406.3999999999999,"end":1407.6,"text":" And it's like, you did all these 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afterwards.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.132306654676259,"compression_ratio":1.8687258687258688,"no_speech_prob":0.01409149169921875,"words":[]},{"start":1494.96,"end":1497.68,"text":" And I just think like even as you're talking","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.132306654676259,"compression_ratio":1.8687258687258688,"no_speech_prob":0.01409149169921875,"words":[]},{"start":1497.68,"end":1499.6000000000001,"text":" there's just such a like lightness.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.132306654676259,"compression_ratio":1.8687258687258688,"no_speech_prob":0.01409149169921875,"words":[]},{"start":1499.6000000000001,"end":1501.68,"text":" Like you know, and Jesus says my, my burden is light","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17390046296296297,"compression_ratio":1.7730263157894737,"no_speech_prob":0.005458831787109375,"words":[]},{"start":1501.68,"end":1502.88,"text":" and my yolk is easy.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17390046296296297,"compression_ratio":1.7730263157894737,"no_speech_prob":0.005458831787109375,"words":[]},{"start":1502.88,"end":1505.6000000000001,"text":" Like you actually, it's not something that you've read","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17390046296296297,"compression_ratio":1.7730263157894737,"no_speech_prob":0.005458831787109375,"words":[]},{"start":1505.6000000000001,"end":1507.6000000000001,"text":" but you've embodied that and you live that","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17390046296296297,"compression_ratio":1.7730263157894737,"no_speech_prob":0.005458831787109375,"words":[]},{"start":1507.6000000000001,"end":1509.3600000000001,"text":" and you've experienced that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17390046296296297,"compression_ratio":1.7730263157894737,"no_speech_prob":0.005458831787109375,"words":[]},{"start":1509.3600000000001,"end":1510.5600000000002,"text":" I think God is 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again.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17390046296296297,"compression_ratio":1.7730263157894737,"no_speech_prob":0.005458831787109375,"words":[]},{"start":1519.0400000000002,"end":1520.0800000000002,"text":" Yeah, that's it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17390046296296297,"compression_ratio":1.7730263157894737,"no_speech_prob":0.005458831787109375,"words":[]},{"start":1520.0800000000002,"end":1523.3600000000001,"text":" And just off the back of that, I wanted to say like you talked about","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17390046296296297,"compression_ratio":1.7730263157894737,"no_speech_prob":0.005458831787109375,"words":[]},{"start":1523.3600000000001,"end":1526.0800000000002,"text":" we don't have to clean ourselves up before we come to God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17390046296296297,"compression_ratio":1.7730263157894737,"no_speech_prob":0.005458831787109375,"words":[]},{"start":1526.0800000000002,"end":1527.8400000000001,"text":" I remember at this time,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17390046296296297,"compression_ratio":1.7730263157894737,"no_speech_prob":0.005458831787109375,"words":[]},{"start":1527.84,"end":1530.6399999999999,"text":" I read a book or I saw a quote that said,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13186141304347826,"compression_ratio":1.6271186440677967,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":1530.6399999999999,"end":1534.08,"text":" when you take a shower, you don't clean","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13186141304347826,"compression_ratio":1.6271186440677967,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":1534.08,"end":1535.6799999999998,"text":" before you get in the shower.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13186141304347826,"compression_ratio":1.6271186440677967,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":1535.6799999999998,"end":1537.9199999999998,"text":" Like the shower is there to clean you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13186141304347826,"compression_ratio":1.6271186440677967,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":1537.9199999999998,"end":1540.48,"text":" And God's love works in that same way.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13186141304347826,"compression_ratio":1.6271186440677967,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":1540.48,"end":1542.08,"text":" Like just come to him.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13186141304347826,"compression_ratio":1.6271186440677967,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":1542.08,"end":1545.84,"text":" There's a Bible verse in, I believe it's in Jeremiah","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13186141304347826,"compression_ratio":1.6271186440677967,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":1545.84,"end":1550.3999999999999,"text":" where God says my wayward children return back to me","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13186141304347826,"compression_ratio":1.6271186440677967,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":1550.3999999999999,"end":1555.12,"text":" and I will be the one to like soothe your wounds and to heal you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13186141304347826,"compression_ratio":1.6271186440677967,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":1555.1200000000001,"end":1557.7600000000002,"text":" So in other words, just return back home.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11521946564885496,"compression_ratio":1.6824817518248176,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":1557.7600000000002,"end":1560.8000000000002,"text":" Just go to the Lord and he will make sure that everything","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11521946564885496,"compression_ratio":1.6824817518248176,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":1560.8000000000002,"end":1563.44,"text":" that's not in alignment with what he has for us","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11521946564885496,"compression_ratio":1.6824817518248176,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":1563.44,"end":1565.8400000000001,"text":" will slowly but surely shed off.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11521946564885496,"compression_ratio":1.6824817518248176,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":1565.8400000000001,"end":1571.6000000000001,"text":" And what I can also see is that God is so patient, right?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11521946564885496,"compression_ratio":1.6824817518248176,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":1571.6000000000001,"end":1573.2,"text":" So when I look back at that time,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11521946564885496,"compression_ratio":1.6824817518248176,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":1573.2,"end":1575.1200000000001,"text":" I can see that over a few months,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11521946564885496,"compression_ratio":1.6824817518248176,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":1575.1200000000001,"end":1577.5200000000002,"text":" there was still some things that I was entangled in","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11521946564885496,"compression_ratio":1.6824817518248176,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":1577.5200000000002,"end":1582.3200000000002,"text":" that were not very healthy and that I know that God wanted me to let go of.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11521946564885496,"compression_ratio":1.6824817518248176,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":1582.3200000000002,"end":1584.0800000000002,"text":" But it was like a process.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11521946564885496,"compression_ratio":1.6824817518248176,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":1584.08,"end":1585.52,"text":" It wasn't like day and night.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1585.52,"end":1587.36,"text":" Like, oh, now I have to let all of this go.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1587.36,"end":1588.8,"text":" It was slowly but surely.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1588.8,"end":1592.8799999999999,"text":" And the Lord, he was just so kind to walk with me in that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1592.8799999999999,"end":1595.4399999999998,"text":" I can really see it and I'm so grateful for that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1595.4399999999998,"end":1598.56,"text":" And I'm sure that you girls have seen that in your own lives also.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1598.56,"end":1603.04,"text":" Like, yeah, God is so patient and he's so loving and he's so kind","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1603.04,"end":1605.6,"text":" and I'm just so grateful that he is that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1605.6,"end":1606.96,"text":" So yeah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1606.96,"end":1610.24,"text":" I think it's super encouraging talking about the process.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1610.24,"end":1611.28,"text":" Like, yeah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17371961805555555,"compression_ratio":1.75,"no_speech_prob":0.0024318695068359375,"words":[]},{"start":1611.36,"end":1613.76,"text":" Because I think so many people have that","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1613.76,"end":1615.6,"text":" thought of like, oh, I want to come to God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1615.6,"end":1618.56,"text":" But like, they're just so much to do or like, I want to come to God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1618.56,"end":1621.04,"text":" But like, it's going to have to take away that, that, that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1621.04,"end":1622.56,"text":" And it's like, oh, can't be asked.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1622.56,"end":1624.16,"text":" Like I'm so comfortable.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1624.16,"end":1625.68,"text":" Like, oh, that's just so inconvenient.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1625.68,"end":1627.28,"text":" That's just going to be really uncomfortable.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1627.28,"end":1629.92,"text":" But we forget that like, it's not on us.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1629.92,"end":1631.84,"text":" Like, God is the one that will take care of it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1631.84,"end":1634.72,"text":" Like, that same verse, like, seek first to kick them","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1634.72,"end":1636,"text":" and all these things will be added.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1636,"end":1637.6,"text":" He will be added by God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1637.6,"end":1640.3999999999999,"text":" Like, he's the one that says, I will take care of it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18927190721649484,"compression_ratio":2.043189368770764,"no_speech_prob":0.0628662109375,"words":[]},{"start":1640.48,"end":1644.72,"text":" You just seek me like over time, like, our faith is a lifelong journey.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1644.72,"end":1646.72,"text":" Like, there are things that like, we're going to be figuring out","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1646.72,"end":1650,"text":" throughout our entire lives, which means that God is still working.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1650,"end":1651.44,"text":" And he will continue to work.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1651.44,"end":1653.2,"text":" And he will continue to chip things away.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1653.2,"end":1656.96,"text":" And he'll continue to like put to bed old habits, old patterns of thinking.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1656.96,"end":1658.24,"text":" And it's not on you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1658.24,"end":1660.24,"text":" Like, so I thought I just want to encourage you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1660.24,"end":1660.96,"text":" Have this thing.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1660.96,"end":1663.92,"text":" Like, maybe you feel like, oh, like, I'm at the start of my faith journey.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1663.92,"end":1666.0800000000002,"text":" And like, there's so much that I want God to like, take away.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1666.0800000000002,"end":1669.0400000000002,"text":" Or like, whatever the case is, like, just chill.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20049157303370788,"compression_ratio":1.9171779141104295,"no_speech_prob":0.0218505859375,"words":[]},{"start":1669.6,"end":1670.72,"text":" Like, just chill.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1670.72,"end":1673.2,"text":" And like, just be still and know that he's God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1673.2,"end":1676.8799999999999,"text":" Like, be still and know that it's in his hands.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1676.8799999999999,"end":1678.1599999999999,"text":" It's in his timing.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1678.1599999999999,"end":1680.32,"text":" Like, you're walking this out with God,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1680.32,"end":1682.56,"text":" which means it's a day by day step by step.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1682.56,"end":1683.52,"text":" Keep going to him.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1683.52,"end":1685.04,"text":" Keep being in relationship with him.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1685.04,"end":1687.04,"text":" And he will take care of everything else.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1687.04,"end":1689.12,"text":" And you'll look back in years to come and be like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1689.12,"end":1690.1599999999999,"text":" wait, I stopped doing that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1690.1599999999999,"end":1690.8,"text":" Like, yeah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1690.8,"end":1693.2,"text":" And even realize, well, I don't even think like that anymore.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1693.2,"end":1695.2,"text":" Like, oh, where are those people that like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1695.2,"end":1697.04,"text":" I used to hang out with and it wasn't really healthy.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1697.04,"end":1698.1599999999999,"text":" Like, where did they go?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16669497282608695,"compression_ratio":1.870253164556962,"no_speech_prob":0.0210418701171875,"words":[]},{"start":1698.16,"end":1700.8000000000002,"text":" And it's like, you just kept focusing on following God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1700.8000000000002,"end":1704.3200000000002,"text":" You kept seeking him first and he took care of everything.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1704.3200000000002,"end":1706.8000000000002,"text":" It's not on your own efforts or your own strength.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1706.8000000000002,"end":1708.8000000000002,"text":" Just seek God and let him be God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1708.8000000000002,"end":1709.28,"text":" Totally.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1709.28,"end":1711.2,"text":" And I think we can like, complicate it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1711.2,"end":1714.0800000000002,"text":" So I think as Christians, we can think on a way.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1714.0800000000002,"end":1717.76,"text":" I, you know, I read the Bible and all these people around me","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1717.76,"end":1719.1200000000001,"text":" seem to be so perfect.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1719.1200000000001,"end":1720.96,"text":" They don't have a single like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1720.96,"end":1722.16,"text":" Flore in their life.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1722.16,"end":1724.88,"text":" And I need to be like, if I need to, if I want to follow God.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1724.88,"end":1727.6000000000001,"text":" But actually, like, Jesus isn't like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18692835365853658,"compression_ratio":1.7475409836065574,"no_speech_prob":0.01904296875,"words":[]},{"start":1727.68,"end":1731.0400000000002,"text":" he isn't afraid of our, like, he just like, humanity.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1731.0400000000002,"end":1733.92,"text":" And just who we are, like, we are broken beings.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1733.92,"end":1735.3600000000001,"text":" And yeah, actually, invite sick.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1735.3600000000001,"end":1736.4,"text":" Then that's like, you know,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1736.4,"end":1739.6000000000001,"text":" I was no longer trying to rely on our own strength","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1739.6000000000001,"end":1741.2,"text":" and trying to like, figure things out ourselves.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1741.2,"end":1743.2,"text":" But then we actually go to him instead.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1743.2,"end":1746.8000000000002,"text":" And that alone is so wonderful and beautiful to the Lord.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1746.8000000000002,"end":1748.0000000000002,"text":" And that gives him praise.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1748.0000000000002,"end":1749.44,"text":" And he loves that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1749.44,"end":1751.68,"text":" And to like, have child like faith to go to him,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1751.68,"end":1753.7600000000002,"text":" be like, that I need you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1753.7600000000002,"end":1756.3200000000002,"text":" Yeah, that really needs your help.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2489853896103896,"compression_ratio":1.7889273356401385,"no_speech_prob":0.0038166046142578125,"words":[]},{"start":1756.3999999999999,"end":1759.36,"text":" And it's like you said, Zen, it's a day today.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18873355263157895,"compression_ratio":1.803088803088803,"no_speech_prob":0.017852783203125,"words":[]},{"start":1759.36,"end":1761.84,"text":" It's a, okay, I wake up in the 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you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17426915322580644,"compression_ratio":1.648068669527897,"no_speech_prob":0.001064300537109375,"words":[]},{"start":2166.3199999999997,"end":2168.04,"text":" I need you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17426915322580644,"compression_ratio":1.648068669527897,"no_speech_prob":0.001064300537109375,"words":[]},{"start":2168.04,"end":2169.64,"text":" And he shows up.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17426915322580644,"compression_ratio":1.648068669527897,"no_speech_prob":0.001064300537109375,"words":[]},{"start":2169.64,"end":2170.64,"text":" Absolutely.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17426915322580644,"compression_ratio":1.648068669527897,"no_speech_prob":0.001064300537109375,"words":[]},{"start":2170.64,"end":2171.72,"text":" Yeah, he shows up.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17426915322580644,"compression_ratio":1.648068669527897,"no_speech_prob":0.001064300537109375,"words":[]},{"start":2171.72,"end":2173.52,"text":" Like a quote that comes 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you","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16612903225806452,"compression_ratio":1.8528301886792453,"no_speech_prob":0.0007672309875488281,"words":[]},{"start":2186.7599999999998,"end":2189,"text":" when you let go and trust him.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16612903225806452,"compression_ratio":1.8528301886792453,"no_speech_prob":0.0007672309875488281,"words":[]},{"start":2189,"end":2191.2,"text":" Like, it doesn't even come close.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16612903225806452,"compression_ratio":1.8528301886792453,"no_speech_prob":0.0007672309875488281,"words":[]},{"start":2191.2,"end":2193.2,"text":" He has so much more for you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16612903225806452,"compression_ratio":1.8528301886792453,"no_speech_prob":0.0007672309875488281,"words":[]},{"start":2193.2,"end":2196.7599999999998,"text":" It says in Ephesians 3.20 that God is able to 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do,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.22790055248618785,"compression_ratio":1.859375,"no_speech_prob":0.04998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2237.12,"end":2239.12,"text":" like that was not even a thought in your mind.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.22790055248618785,"compression_ratio":1.859375,"no_speech_prob":0.04998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2239.12,"end":2240.72,"text":" So, like, how did you even,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20919585987261147,"compression_ratio":1.8,"no_speech_prob":0.0022487640380859375,"words":[]},{"start":2240.72,"end":2244.7599999999998,"text":" how did God even direct you from leaving uni,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20919585987261147,"compression_ratio":1.8,"no_speech_prob":0.0022487640380859375,"words":[]},{"start":2244.7599999999998,"end":2246.48,"text":" like putting your faith in him, trusting him,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20919585987261147,"compression_ratio":1.8,"no_speech_prob":0.0022487640380859375,"words":[]},{"start":2246.48,"end":2250.3599999999997,"text":" like, living for him and then to, like, get to where you are now?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20919585987261147,"compression_ratio":1.8,"no_speech_prob":0.0022487640380859375,"words":[]},{"start":2250.3599999999997,"end":2253.16,"text":" Because how does one even get that, you know what I mean?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20919585987261147,"compression_ratio":1.8,"no_speech_prob":0.0022487640380859375,"words":[]},{"start":2253.16,"end":2254.44,"text":" Like, how did God do that?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.20919585987261147,"compression_ratio":1.8,"no_speech_prob":0.0022487640380859375,"words":[]},{"start":2254.44,"end":2255.2799999999997,"text":" 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me.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13065378289473684,"compression_ratio":1.727891156462585,"no_speech_prob":0.0081787109375,"words":[]},{"start":2292.24,"end":2296.56,"text":" I enjoy doing that, but I saw that it wasn't I'd only my life,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13065378289473684,"compression_ratio":1.727891156462585,"no_speech_prob":0.0081787109375,"words":[]},{"start":2296.56,"end":2299.2799999999997,"text":" which means that I wanted that way more","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13528963414634146,"compression_ratio":1.6844262295081966,"no_speech_prob":0.0015230178833007812,"words":[]},{"start":2299.2799999999997,"end":2301.6,"text":" than I wanted a relationship with Jesus.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13528963414634146,"compression_ratio":1.6844262295081966,"no_speech_prob":0.0015230178833007812,"words":[]},{"start":2301.6,"end":2304.2,"text":" And that's where there's an issue, right?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13528963414634146,"compression_ratio":1.6844262295081966,"no_speech_prob":0.0015230178833007812,"words":[]},{"start":2305.12,"end":2310.12,"text":" So it was in that isolation period that music kind of,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13528963414634146,"compression_ratio":1.6844262295081966,"no_speech_prob":0.0015230178833007812,"words":[]},{"start":2311.6,"end":2314.2799999999997,"text":" for the first time, I was able to let it go,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13528963414634146,"compression_ratio":1.6844262295081966,"no_speech_prob":0.0015230178833007812,"words":[]},{"start":2314.2799999999997,"end":2318.08,"text":" because I saw it as it almost had me in a chokehold.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13528963414634146,"compression_ratio":1.6844262295081966,"no_speech_prob":0.0015230178833007812,"words":[]},{"start":2318.08,"end":2320.88,"text":" Like, every decision I made in life was 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it?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2326.6000000000004,"end":2327.88,"text":" I wasn't free.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2327.88,"end":2330.6800000000003,"text":" And we serve a God who's in the business of our freedom.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2330.6800000000003,"end":2334.28,"text":" So as soon as something controls us, the Lord is like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2334.28,"end":2335.96,"text":" okay, we need to strip that down,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2335.96,"end":2338.1600000000003,"text":" not because God doesn't want you to have it,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2338.1600000000003,"end":2341.0800000000004,"text":" but he does not want you to be controlled by it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2341.0800000000004,"end":2342.32,"text":" Yeah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2342.32,"end":2347.32,"text":" So in that rock bottom place, in that isolation season,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2347.92,"end":2352.1200000000003,"text":" spending time with Jesus is just something else.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2352.1200000000003,"end":2354.56,"text":" Like just spending time in the presence of the Lord,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1207275390625,"compression_ratio":1.7142857142857142,"no_speech_prob":0.0034275054931640625,"words":[]},{"start":2354.56,"end":2356.56,"text":" everything else fades away.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15104166666666666,"compression_ratio":1.6485507246376812,"no_speech_prob":0.001987457275390625,"words":[]},{"start":2356.56,"end":2360.32,"text":" You experience a love that you've never experienced 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Bible,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15104166666666666,"compression_ratio":1.6485507246376812,"no_speech_prob":0.001987457275390625,"words":[]},{"start":2372.2,"end":2373.68,"text":" starting to read the word again,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15104166666666666,"compression_ratio":1.6485507246376812,"no_speech_prob":0.001987457275390625,"words":[]},{"start":2373.68,"end":2375.64,"text":" you know, I'd heard all these Bible stories","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15104166666666666,"compression_ratio":1.6485507246376812,"no_speech_prob":0.001987457275390625,"words":[]},{"start":2375.64,"end":2378.7999999999997,"text":" in like Sunday school and I'd read the Bible every now and again,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15104166666666666,"compression_ratio":1.6485507246376812,"no_speech_prob":0.001987457275390625,"words":[]},{"start":2378.7999999999997,"end":2381.6,"text":" but I just read it through such a different lens,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15104166666666666,"compression_ratio":1.6485507246376812,"no_speech_prob":0.001987457275390625,"words":[]},{"start":2381.6,"end":2383.24,"text":" like it all came to life.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15104166666666666,"compression_ratio":1.6485507246376812,"no_speech_prob":0.001987457275390625,"words":[]},{"start":2383.2400000000002,"end":2384.88,"text":" And I was like, this book is not boring.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15191605839416059,"compression_ratio":1.734982332155477,"no_speech_prob":0.0003249645233154297,"words":[]},{"start":2384.88,"end":2386.96,"text":" Like for the longest time, I didn't want to read the Bible","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15191605839416059,"compression_ratio":1.734982332155477,"no_speech_prob":0.0003249645233154297,"words":[]},{"start":2386.96,"end":2388.4,"text":" because I was like, oh, this is so 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like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15191605839416059,"compression_ratio":1.734982332155477,"no_speech_prob":0.0003249645233154297,"words":[]},{"start":2399.44,"end":2401.5200000000004,"text":" I need other people to know this","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15191605839416059,"compression_ratio":1.734982332155477,"no_speech_prob":0.0003249645233154297,"words":[]},{"start":2401.5200000000004,"end":2404.8,"text":" because I knew so many people who were in the same situation","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15191605839416059,"compression_ratio":1.734982332155477,"no_speech_prob":0.0003249645233154297,"words":[]},{"start":2404.8,"end":2409.2400000000002,"text":" as me just like endlessly scrolling on social media","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15191605839416059,"compression_ratio":1.734982332155477,"no_speech_prob":0.0003249645233154297,"words":[]},{"start":2409.2400000000002,"end":2412.5600000000004,"text":" and living this like lukewarm Christian life,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15191605839416059,"compression_ratio":1.734982332155477,"no_speech_prob":0.0003249645233154297,"words":[]},{"start":2412.56,"end":2417.16,"text":" which withholds you from experiencing the fullness","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12288851351351351,"compression_ratio":1.6275303643724697,"no_speech_prob":0.0008692741394042969,"words":[]},{"start":2417.16,"end":2419.08,"text":" that God wants you to experience.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12288851351351351,"compression_ratio":1.6275303643724697,"no_speech_prob":0.0008692741394042969,"words":[]},{"start":2419.08,"end":2421.16,"text":" So in a way, we're just setting ourselves up","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12288851351351351,"compression_ratio":1.6275303643724697,"no_speech_prob":0.0008692741394042969,"words":[]},{"start":2421.16,"end":2424.56,"text":" when we live a lukewarm life, right?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12288851351351351,"compression_ratio":1.6275303643724697,"no_speech_prob":0.0008692741394042969,"words":[]},{"start":2424.56,"end":2428.64,"text":" So I was, I think my cup was overflowing so much","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12288851351351351,"compression_ratio":1.6275303643724697,"no_speech_prob":0.0008692741394042969,"words":[]},{"start":2428.64,"end":2430.56,"text":" from spending time with Jesus that I was like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12288851351351351,"compression_ratio":1.6275303643724697,"no_speech_prob":0.0008692741394042969,"words":[]},{"start":2430.56,"end":2432.12,"text":" I need other people to know this.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.12288851351351351,"compression_ratio":1.6275303643724697,"no_speech_prob":0.0008692741394042969,"words":[]},{"start":2432.12,"end":2434.56,"text":" I need other people to hear 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overtaken","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1150405534351145,"compression_ratio":1.6939501779359432,"no_speech_prob":0.01168060302734375,"words":[]},{"start":2516.7999999999997,"end":2519.8399999999997,"text":" the amount of people that are tuned into my TikTok account.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1150405534351145,"compression_ratio":1.6939501779359432,"no_speech_prob":0.01168060302734375,"words":[]},{"start":2519.88,"end":2522.2400000000002,"text":" So like, YouTube is now the biggest platform","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.125,"compression_ratio":1.6308243727598566,"no_speech_prob":0.005382537841796875,"words":[]},{"start":2522.2400000000002,"end":2523.8,"text":" that I get to steward.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.125,"compression_ratio":1.6308243727598566,"no_speech_prob":0.005382537841796875,"words":[]},{"start":2523.8,"end":2525.96,"text":" And just looking at how it grew,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.125,"compression_ratio":1.6308243727598566,"no_speech_prob":0.005382537841796875,"words":[]},{"start":2525.96,"end":2528.76,"text":" I literally can't take credit.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.125,"compression_ratio":1.6308243727598566,"no_speech_prob":0.005382537841796875,"words":[]},{"start":2528.76,"end":2530.32,"text":" I don't know how it happened.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.125,"compression_ratio":1.6308243727598566,"no_speech_prob":0.005382537841796875,"words":[]},{"start":2530.32,"end":2533.32,"text":" It all just stemmed from, I want to share","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.125,"compression_ratio":1.6308243727598566,"no_speech_prob":0.005382537841796875,"words":[]},{"start":2533.32,"end":2535.6000000000004,"text":" what God has done in my life with other people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.125,"compression_ratio":1.6308243727598566,"no_speech_prob":0.005382537841796875,"words":[]},{"start":2535.6000000000004,"end":2537.32,"text":" I need more people to open their word.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.125,"compression_ratio":1.6308243727598566,"no_speech_prob":0.005382537841796875,"words":[]},{"start":2537.32,"end":2539.52,"text":" Like, get into the Bible, just spend time with Jesus.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.125,"compression_ratio":1.6308243727598566,"no_speech_prob":0.005382537841796875,"words":[]},{"start":2539.52,"end":2540.92,"text":" There's nothing like it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.125,"compression_ratio":1.6308243727598566,"no_speech_prob":0.005382537841796875,"words":[]},{"start":2540.92,"end":2544,"text":" And there's this song, I think it's by Maverick 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Jesus,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1422244094488189,"compression_ratio":1.6962962962962962,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":2556,"end":2558.84,"text":" everything else becomes so like, man.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1422244094488189,"compression_ratio":1.6962962962962962,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":2558.84,"end":2561.36,"text":" Like, of course, life, we get to enjoy this life,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1422244094488189,"compression_ratio":1.6962962962962962,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":2561.36,"end":2563.44,"text":" but there's nothing like it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1422244094488189,"compression_ratio":1.6962962962962962,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":2563.44,"end":2565.16,"text":" So I just wanted other people to know that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1422244094488189,"compression_ratio":1.6962962962962962,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":2565.16,"end":2568.88,"text":" And also, like we kind of mentioned at the beginning,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1422244094488189,"compression_ratio":1.6962962962962962,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":2568.88,"end":2572,"text":" I wanted people to know that they, but they're not alone","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1422244094488189,"compression_ratio":1.6962962962962962,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":2572,"end":2574.12,"text":" because I felt alone for so long.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1422244094488189,"compression_ratio":1.6962962962962962,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":2574.12,"end":2577.7599999999998,"text":" And I felt like I was never going to reach 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areas.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14779713114754098,"compression_ratio":1.678294573643411,"no_speech_prob":0.01015472412109375,"words":[]},{"start":2584.6,"end":2588.52,"text":" I just wanted people to know, like, look, I've gone through that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14779713114754098,"compression_ratio":1.678294573643411,"no_speech_prob":0.01015472412109375,"words":[]},{"start":2588.52,"end":2591.24,"text":" And I've now found this joy in Christ.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14779713114754098,"compression_ratio":1.678294573643411,"no_speech_prob":0.01015472412109375,"words":[]},{"start":2591.24,"end":2594.7599999999998,"text":" And also, all of the parts of my testimony","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14779713114754098,"compression_ratio":1.678294573643411,"no_speech_prob":0.01015472412109375,"words":[]},{"start":2594.7599999999998,"end":2598.44,"text":" that I tried to pray away when I was younger,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14779713114754098,"compression_ratio":1.678294573643411,"no_speech_prob":0.01015472412109375,"words":[]},{"start":2599.48,"end":2601.08,"text":" the things I just mentioned,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14779713114754098,"compression_ratio":1.678294573643411,"no_speech_prob":0.01015472412109375,"words":[]},{"start":2601.08,"end":2604.3199999999997,"text":" I can now see how those are like strong points","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18410326086956522,"compression_ratio":1.541062801932367,"no_speech_prob":0.0150604248046875,"words":[]},{"start":2604.3199999999997,"end":2606.6,"text":" in my testimony, those are actually the points","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18410326086956522,"compression_ratio":1.541062801932367,"no_speech_prob":0.0150604248046875,"words":[]},{"start":2606.6,"end":2609.48,"text":" that have kind of launched me forward.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18410326086956522,"compression_ratio":1.541062801932367,"no_speech_prob":0.0150604248046875,"words":[]},{"start":2609.48,"end":2613.36,"text":" So that's how it all started on social media.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18410326086956522,"compression_ratio":1.541062801932367,"no_speech_prob":0.0150604248046875,"words":[]},{"start":2613.36,"end":2614.68,"text":" Wow.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18410326086956522,"compression_ratio":1.541062801932367,"no_speech_prob":0.0150604248046875,"words":[]},{"start":2614.68,"end":2616.2,"text":" Wow.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18410326086956522,"compression_ratio":1.541062801932367,"no_speech_prob":0.0150604248046875,"words":[]},{"start":2616.2,"end":2620.24,"text":" God is just so obviously easy.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18410326086956522,"compression_ratio":1.541062801932367,"no_speech_prob":0.0150604248046875,"words":[]},{"start":2621.44,"end":2623.56,"text":" And I actually really love like,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18410326086956522,"compression_ratio":1.541062801932367,"no_speech_prob":0.0150604248046875,"words":[]},{"start":2623.56,"end":2626.7599999999998,"text":" you're like Faith Talk series that you do on YouTube","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18410326086956522,"compression_ratio":1.541062801932367,"no_speech_prob":0.0150604248046875,"words":[]},{"start":2626.7599999999998,"end":2627.72,"text":" every Sunday.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18410326086956522,"compression_ratio":1.541062801932367,"no_speech_prob":0.0150604248046875,"words":[]},{"start":2627.7200000000003,"end":2632.0400000000004,"text":" It's so cool to just see like somebody just unpacking","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2632.0400000000004,"end":2634.1200000000003,"text":" like what God is doing in them","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2634.1200000000003,"end":2636.96,"text":" and like how they read through like the lens of scripture.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2636.96,"end":2639.5600000000004,"text":" But it also like almost gives people permission","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2639.5600000000004,"end":2641.0000000000005,"text":" to do the same.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2641.0000000000005,"end":2644.0400000000004,"text":" You know, I think what we do on social media,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2644.0400000000004,"end":2646.2000000000003,"text":" it's so powerful in so many different ways","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2646.2000000000003,"end":2648.2400000000002,"text":" but it gives people permission.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2648.2400000000002,"end":2650.88,"text":" And I think when you see somebody else doing it,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2650.88,"end":2652.7200000000003,"text":" I don't know, it gives you that inspiration","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2652.7200000000003,"end":2653.76,"text":" to try it yourself.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2653.76,"end":2657.0800000000004,"text":" Like, oh, maybe I could buy a Bible and like read it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13009510869565216,"compression_ratio":1.7429577464788732,"no_speech_prob":0.01580810546875,"words":[]},{"start":2657.08,"end":2661.04,"text":" Like maybe I could go to church and like make friends","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2661.04,"end":2664.12,"text":" with other people, like maybe I could do that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2664.12,"end":2666.52,"text":" I think there's so much power in sharing your story","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2666.52,"end":2668.36,"text":" and showing what God is doing with you online","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2668.36,"end":2670.68,"text":" because you just don't know who's watching","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2670.68,"end":2674.12,"text":" and who needs it and over time and time.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2674.12,"end":2676.12,"text":" Like, I'm sure you've had so many testimonies","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2676.12,"end":2678.4,"text":" of people being like, hey, I watched your video","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2678.4,"end":2681.64,"text":" and like I encountered God or like I watched your video now.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2681.64,"end":2684.12,"text":" I'm in church and it's like one honor to be used","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2684.12,"end":2685.64,"text":" by God to like help people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2685.64,"end":2686.96,"text":" Yeah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17456896551724138,"compression_ratio":1.793103448275862,"no_speech_prob":0.0021724700927734375,"words":[]},{"start":2687,"end":2688.36,"text":" Yeah, that's just incredible.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2688.36,"end":2690.4,"text":" I love that that's what God's doing in you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2690.4,"end":2691.2400000000002,"text":" It's crazy.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2691.2400000000002,"end":2692.08,"text":" It's crazy.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2692.08,"end":2694.52,"text":" It's so surreal when you say it that way,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2694.52,"end":2697.64,"text":" like we get to be instruments used by God,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2697.64,"end":2698.64,"text":" like vessels, right?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2698.64,"end":2701.6,"text":" I kind of see it as more of a pipeline,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2701.6,"end":2704.44,"text":" like because we get to experience the joy","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2704.44,"end":2707.04,"text":" and the overflow of like doing something","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2707.04,"end":2708.84,"text":" that's bigger than ourselves.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2708.84,"end":2711.2,"text":" It's also to bless other people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2711.2,"end":2714.84,"text":" And I just constantly think about like how do you actually","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.16358901515151514,"compression_ratio":1.703422053231939,"no_speech_prob":0.0002734661102294922,"words":[]},{"start":2714.84,"end":2715.7200000000003,"text":" get started?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2715.7200000000003,"end":2719,"text":" How do you, like I'm scared to put myself out there?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2719,"end":2722.96,"text":" And I think us not doing what God has placed","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2722.96,"end":2726.44,"text":" on our hearts to do is also withholding other people","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2726.44,"end":2727.44,"text":" from being blessed.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2727.44,"end":2730,"text":" Like I just think what if we never started","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2730,"end":2732.6000000000004,"text":" than all of the testimonies that we get to hear now","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2732.6000000000004,"end":2735.7200000000003,"text":" of people feeling seen and like being encouraged?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2735.7200000000003,"end":2737.52,"text":" They would have not been here.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2737.52,"end":2739.88,"text":" It's like what Mordecai says to Esther","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2739.88,"end":2742.92,"text":" and Esther 4 verse 14, perhaps you've been called","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2742.92,"end":2744.6000000000004,"text":" for such a time as this.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15706623134328357,"compression_ratio":1.6254295532646048,"no_speech_prob":0.00307464599609375,"words":[]},{"start":2744.6,"end":2746.2,"text":" And then before that he says,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2746.2,"end":2749,"text":" if you don't want to step up and do this thing,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2749,"end":2750.7999999999997,"text":" God will use someone else, right?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2750.7999999999997,"end":2752.68,"text":" He will still deliver the Jews.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2752.68,"end":2754.64,"text":" He will still do what he has to do.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2754.64,"end":2757.52,"text":" But what a, like it's just so sad","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2757.52,"end":2760.8399999999997,"text":" if we missed out on everything that we get to be a part of","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2760.8399999999997,"end":2763.12,"text":" because we let fear get the best of us.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2763.12,"end":2765.56,"text":" So I guess that's just to encourage someone","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2765.56,"end":2768.4,"text":" who is looking to start and maybe you're scared.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2768.4,"end":2770.8399999999997,"text":" Like fear is not from the Lord.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2770.8399999999997,"end":2772.72,"text":" You've not been given a spirit of fear","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11212588028169014,"compression_ratio":1.6643356643356644,"no_speech_prob":0.00035691261291503906,"words":[]},{"start":2772.7200000000003,"end":2776.1600000000003,"text":" and there's so much attached to you being obedient","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23690878378378377,"compression_ratio":1.6296296296296295,"no_speech_prob":0.010528564453125,"words":[]},{"start":2776.1600000000003,"end":2778.6000000000004,"text":" to what God has placed within you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23690878378378377,"compression_ratio":1.6296296296296295,"no_speech_prob":0.010528564453125,"words":[]},{"start":2778.6000000000004,"end":2780.28,"text":" It's not just for you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23690878378378377,"compression_ratio":1.6296296296296295,"no_speech_prob":0.010528564453125,"words":[]},{"start":2780.28,"end":2783.6400000000003,"text":" Yeah, perfect love drives out all fear, the men.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23690878378378377,"compression_ratio":1.6296296296296295,"no_speech_prob":0.010528564453125,"words":[]},{"start":2783.6400000000003,"end":2786.6800000000003,"text":" And you know, our stories aren't actually just","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23690878378378377,"compression_ratio":1.6296296296296295,"no_speech_prob":0.010528564453125,"words":[]},{"start":2786.6800000000003,"end":2791.1200000000003,"text":" for our greater good, but it's also for other people","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23690878378378377,"compression_ratio":1.6296296296296295,"no_speech_prob":0.010528564453125,"words":[]},{"start":2791.1200000000003,"end":2794.5600000000004,"text":" like you're saying, you know, there's people","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23690878378378377,"compression_ratio":1.6296296296296295,"no_speech_prob":0.010528564453125,"words":[]},{"start":2794.5600000000004,"end":2796.6400000000003,"text":" on the opposite end of our obedience saying,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23690878378378377,"compression_ratio":1.6296296296296295,"no_speech_prob":0.010528564453125,"words":[]},{"start":2796.6400000000003,"end":2799.32,"text":" yes, okay, I'm gonna like be bold and courageous","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23690878378378377,"compression_ratio":1.6296296296296295,"no_speech_prob":0.010528564453125,"words":[]},{"start":2799.32,"end":2801.52,"text":" and step into what I feel like.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2801.52,"end":2803.36,"text":" God's really pressed on my heart.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2803.36,"end":2805.44,"text":" Maybe just like giving it a shot, you know,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2805.44,"end":2807.2400000000002,"text":" you're losing out on nothing at all,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2807.2400000000002,"end":2810.28,"text":" except an experience and trying things and learning","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2810.28,"end":2812.84,"text":" and growing and that's what life is all about.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2812.84,"end":2813.6800000000003,"text":" Amen.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2813.6800000000003,"end":2816.6000000000004,"text":" And there's no like linear, this is how you should do.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2816.6000000000004,"end":2818.36,"text":" This is what you should do.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2818.36,"end":2820.6400000000003,"text":" But like it's just like a journey with the Lord","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2820.6400000000003,"end":2823.6400000000003,"text":" and it's an adventure and it's a privilege to be able to like","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2823.6400000000003,"end":2827.2400000000002,"text":" have such a good God and want to lead us and guide us","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.23033216783216784,"compression_ratio":1.7412587412587412,"no_speech_prob":0.1431884765625,"words":[]},{"start":2827.2400000000002,"end":2831.36,"text":" through a wonderful journey of figuring ourselves out","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2831.36,"end":2833.6800000000003,"text":" and learning who we are and getting to bless","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2833.6800000000003,"end":2837.0800000000004,"text":" and love others on the way, you know, that's it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2837.0800000000004,"end":2839.6400000000003,"text":" And I also think like comparison's such a big thing.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2839.6400000000003,"end":2843.1200000000003,"text":" Like let's not like social media is a constant comparison","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2843.1200000000003,"end":2845.0800000000004,"text":" real like you see this person doing it,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2845.0800000000004,"end":2846.5200000000004,"text":" this person doing it, this person testimony,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2846.5200000000004,"end":2848.6000000000004,"text":" that person testimony, this person's content,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2848.6000000000004,"end":2850.84,"text":" that person's content, this ministry, that ministry,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2850.84,"end":2853.44,"text":" you're like, I'm not doing any of that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2853.44,"end":2855.44,"text":" But my testimony doesn't sound like that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.21418795620437955,"compression_ratio":1.9479553903345725,"no_speech_prob":0.09625244140625,"words":[]},{"start":2855.44,"end":2857.12,"text":" My testimony sounds so boring.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2857.12,"end":2858.6,"text":" Why would you ever want me to talk?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2858.6,"end":2859.56,"text":" Why would you want to use me?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2859.56,"end":2864.32,"text":" And I think sometimes we can disqualify ourselves","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2864.32,"end":2866.88,"text":" from being used by God because we think God","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2866.88,"end":2868.88,"text":" has to use a certain type of person","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2868.88,"end":2872.2400000000002,"text":" or only a certain type of story is going to connect to people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2872.2400000000002,"end":2874.2400000000002,"text":" We all have a testimony.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2874.2400000000002,"end":2876.8,"text":" We all started from somewhere and God picked us up","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2876.8,"end":2878.12,"text":" and took us somewhere else.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2878.12,"end":2882.68,"text":" No testimony is more undervalued than another testimony.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14992252066115702,"compression_ratio":1.7647058823529411,"no_speech_prob":0.029998779296875,"words":[]},{"start":2882.68,"end":2885.04,"text":" Difference is actually so powerful.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2885.04,"end":2887.3199999999997,"text":" Because all our testimonies are different.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2887.3199999999997,"end":2890.68,"text":" Hey, wow, God uses different people in different ways","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2890.68,"end":2892.2,"text":" to connect with different people","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2892.2,"end":2894.12,"text":" to bring the gospel to their context.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2894.12,"end":2896.48,"text":" And so maybe your testimony doesn't look like","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2896.48,"end":2899.12,"text":" this next person or that next person, but that's good.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2899.12,"end":2900.8799999999997,"text":" Because God wants to use you in a way","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2900.8799999999997,"end":2902.72,"text":" that he's not using other people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2902.72,"end":2906.3999999999996,"text":" And so like 100% echo everything you guys have said,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2906.3999999999996,"end":2910,"text":" but just to encourage, don't compare yourself to other people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2910,"end":2912.3599999999997,"text":" And in sharing your story, just share what God","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2029001798561151,"compression_ratio":1.8333333333333333,"no_speech_prob":0.411376953125,"words":[]},{"start":2912.36,"end":2913.32,"text":" has done in your life.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2913.32,"end":2914.96,"text":" Share it with authenticity.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2914.96,"end":2917.96,"text":" Share it with a bold vulnerability, but just share it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2917.96,"end":2920.96,"text":" Because you just don't know who God's going to reach.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2920.96,"end":2923.4,"text":" Who God's going to use you to reach out to you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2923.4,"end":2925.44,"text":" And I think that's so evident with you","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2925.44,"end":2929.2000000000003,"text":" and the ministry that God is building through you to borrow us.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2929.2000000000003,"end":2930.6400000000003,"text":" So thank you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2930.6400000000003,"end":2932.28,"text":" Thank you for sharing your story with us.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2932.28,"end":2933.28,"text":" Yes, thank you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2933.28,"end":2937.08,"text":" And thank you for just giving God your yes.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2937.08,"end":2939.6800000000003,"text":" Your yes, like Michelle was saying, but your yes has power.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2939.6800000000003,"end":2941.28,"text":" And it's been helping so many people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.19427083333333334,"compression_ratio":1.8257839721254356,"no_speech_prob":0.0286865234375,"words":[]},{"start":2941.28,"end":2942.28,"text":" So thank you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2942.28,"end":2943.7200000000003,"text":" Thank you for having me, guys.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2943.7200000000003,"end":2945.5600000000004,"text":" It wasn't blessing to speak to you, girls.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2945.5600000000004,"end":2946.4,"text":" It was for you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2946.4,"end":2948.6000000000004,"text":" And it was like a little key key.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2948.6000000000004,"end":2949.6400000000003,"text":" They loved it.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2949.6400000000003,"end":2952.28,"text":" And thank you guys for watching and listening","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2952.28,"end":2953.6400000000003,"text":" to this conversation.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2953.6400000000003,"end":2954.96,"text":" Maybe there was something that was said","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2954.96,"end":2956.0800000000004,"text":" that like really struck with you.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2956.0800000000004,"end":2958.1600000000003,"text":" We would love to hear your thoughts.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2958.1600000000003,"end":2959.52,"text":" So give us a little comment.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2959.52,"end":2962.1600000000003,"text":" However, you're listening to this podcast.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2962.1600000000003,"end":2962.96,"text":" And we'd love to hear.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2962.96,"end":2965.6000000000004,"text":" But guys, we will be back with more episodes of the way.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2965.6000000000004,"end":2968.36,"text":" More podcasts, more testimonies, more Bible studies","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2968.36,"end":2969.1600000000003,"text":" coming your way.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.2337962962962963,"compression_ratio":1.8338870431893688,"no_speech_prob":0.1395263671875,"words":[]},{"start":2969.16,"end":2970.8799999999997,"text":" So subscribe, keep up to date.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.359130859375,"compression_ratio":1.0493827160493827,"no_speech_prob":0.28125,"words":[]},{"start":2970.8799999999997,"end":2972.68,"text":" And we will see you in the next video.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.359130859375,"compression_ratio":1.0493827160493827,"no_speech_prob":0.28125,"words":[]},{"start":2972.68,"end":2973.48,"text":" Bye guys.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.359130859375,"compression_ratio":1.0493827160493827,"no_speech_prob":0.28125,"words":[]},{"start":2973.48,"end":2974.3199999999997,"text":" Yeah.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.359130859375,"compression_ratio":1.0493827160493827,"no_speech_prob":0.28125,"words":[]}],"vtt":"WEBVTT\n\n1\n00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.160\n Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the way E.K. Podcast.\n\n2\n00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:06.640\n My name is Zenya and I'm here with Michelle.\n\n3\n00:00:06.640 --> 00:00:09.519\n Hey guys, Michelle's on the couch. Michelle's wearing a cap.\n\n4\n00:00:09.519 --> 00:00:12.000\n Michelle is in the vibes.\n\n5\n00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:12.800\n Cheers.\n\n6\n00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:16.080\n She's living her patterned life.\n\n7\n00:00:16.080 --> 00:00:19.280\n And today we are here with a very special guest.\n\n8\n00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:23.920\n We had joined with the wonderful, amazing, fantastic DeBora.\n\n9\n00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:25.519\n Let's go.\n\n10\n00:00:25.519 --> 00:00:29.039\n Yay, what an intro, thank you.\n\n11\n00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:32.640\n You're welcome. I thought to just set you up for the win\n\n12\n00:00:32.640 --> 00:00:35.920\n and to name as many adjectives as I could.\n\n13\n00:00:35.920 --> 00:00:37.600\n But I feel like maybe I missed out some more.\n\n14\n00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:42.320\n The talented, you know, the mighty woman of God,\n\n15\n00:00:42.320 --> 00:00:46.480\n the amazing, the courageous, the strong, the bold.\n\n16\n00:00:46.480 --> 00:00:47.599\n Hey, I received it.\n\n17\n00:00:47.599 --> 00:00:48.799\n I'll give you the ring if you want.\n\n18\n00:00:48.799 --> 00:00:49.599\n Give me the ring.\n\n19\n00:00:49.599 --> 00:00:50.399\n Give me the ring.\n\n20\n00:00:50.399 --> 00:00:52.079\n Bro, I feel like I'm feeling blessed.\n\n21\n00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:54.320\n I received it in Jesus name.\n\n22\n00:00:54.320 --> 00:00:56.960\n We are so happy to have you with us because\n\n23\n00:00:57.039 --> 00:00:59.679\n guys, we're going to be getting into DeBora's story,\n\n24\n00:00:59.679 --> 00:01:02.480\n her testimony, who she is, what she does.\n\n25\n00:01:02.480 --> 00:01:03.520\n Some of you may have known her.\n\n26\n00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:05.519\n You may have seen her before.\n\n27\n00:01:05.519 --> 00:01:09.120\n But yeah, we're so excited to hear about what God's been doing in you\n\n28\n00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:13.120\n and how God's been using you to help other people in their faith.\n\n29\n00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:14.879\n So that's how it's been.\n\n30\n00:01:18.879 --> 00:01:23.760\n I thought it would be great to start and chat about like, what did you do?\n\n31\n00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:25.840\n Because I feel like you live quite a unique life.\n\n32\n00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:29.760\n Like what you do is very interesting and very different.\n\n33\n00:01:29.760 --> 00:01:32.240\n So just give us like a little, what did you do?\n\n34\n00:01:32.240 --> 00:01:35.600\n Maybe give us like a typical day in your life as well.\n\n35\n00:01:35.600 --> 00:01:39.040\n You know what, that's a hard one because every day looks so different.\n\n36\n00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:44.000\n So what I do is that I'm a faith-based content creator.\n\n37\n00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:48.240\n So I get to go online and speak about Jesus.\n\n38\n00:01:48.240 --> 00:01:52.560\n So share the word, share the light of Christ in the dark space\n\n39\n00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:55.200\n that the internet is, which is such an honor.\n\n40\n00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:57.200\n I never planned to do this.\n\n41\n00:01:57.200 --> 00:01:59.520\n I never wanted to do this.\n\n42\n00:01:59.520 --> 00:02:01.600\n I don't know, it's so crazy how it came about.\n\n43\n00:02:01.600 --> 00:02:04.079\n But yeah, that's what I spend my days doing.\n\n44\n00:02:04.079 --> 00:02:11.120\n So what the content I create is that I do kind of Bible study type of video.\n\n45\n00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:15.680\n Sit down, sharing about just life experiences that we walk through\n\n46\n00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:18.400\n to encourage other people in knowing that they're not alone.\n\n47\n00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:21.120\n Because I think that's a big thing that in our walks with Christ,\n\n48\n00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:23.039\n we can feel alone so quickly.\n\n49\n00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:25.599\n And I think that's what the enemy wants as well.\n\n50\n00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:30.000\n So yeah, that's a type of content that I do and then also vlogs.\n\n51\n00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:33.759\n So like every day lifestyle, what a life with Jesus looks like\n\n52\n00:02:33.759 --> 00:02:38.879\n to encourage people that life with Jesus is not boring.\n\n53\n00:02:38.879 --> 00:02:41.439\n Because that's what I thought for a long time.\n\n54\n00:02:41.439 --> 00:02:44.719\n So yeah, that's kind of it in a nutshell, to be honest.\n\n55\n00:02:44.719 --> 00:02:45.599\n Super encouraging.\n\n56\n00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:48.399\n I feel like when I first stumbled on you\n\n57\n00:02:48.399 --> 00:02:51.280\n is on the video that you made about your testimony\n\n58\n00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:54.080\n when you're getting your home that you live in right now.\n\n59\n00:02:54.080 --> 00:02:57.680\n That video, like it was in my recommended for like all weeks.\n\n60\n00:02:57.680 --> 00:02:59.280\n Now I was like, what was this video about?\n\n61\n00:02:59.280 --> 00:03:02.080\n And I clicked it and I listened to it and I was like, wow, like,\n\n62\n00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:05.680\n you've just got such a talent with communicating.\n\n63\n00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:09.920\n And I think you speak in a way that's so relatable.\n\n64\n00:03:09.920 --> 00:03:12.800\n I think like, well, you were talking about how Christian he's not boring.\n\n65\n00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:16.800\n Like you could be a Christian and smile and enjoy your life.\n\n66\n00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:18.080\n But I used to think the same thing.\n\n67\n00:03:18.160 --> 00:03:21.120\n And I used to think like, I don't see anybody else\n\n68\n00:03:21.120 --> 00:03:25.120\n that is living this thing out like at our age or whatever.\n\n69\n00:03:26.160 --> 00:03:28.800\n And I feel like you live in a way that's so like encouraging\n\n70\n00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:32.000\n for others to know that, you know, if you can do it, we can do it too.\n\n71\n00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:34.960\n So yeah, I just wanted to encourage you on that.\n\n72\n00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:36.240\n Oh, thank you.\n\n73\n00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:36.640\n Thank you.\n\n74\n00:03:36.640 --> 00:03:38.240\n I think that's the heart behind it as well.\n\n75\n00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:40.960\n Because yeah, like I mentioned for a long time,\n\n76\n00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:44.000\n I thought that life as a Christian was boring.\n\n77\n00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:48.159\n And that's why I mean, I'm maybe getting ahead of myself a little bit.\n\n78\n00:03:48.159 --> 00:03:51.120\n But that's why I kind of walked away from the faith\n\n79\n00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:53.599\n because I was looking at everybody around me in the world.\n\n80\n00:03:53.599 --> 00:03:55.520\n And I thought, oh, they're living this great life.\n\n81\n00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:56.400\n I'm missing out.\n\n82\n00:03:58.159 --> 00:04:01.840\n But yeah, long story short, the Lord just showed me that, no,\n\n83\n00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:04.639\n Jesus came that we may have life and have it to the full.\n\n84\n00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:07.360\n And that's what I get to experience now.\n\n85\n00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:11.439\n So really encouraging other people our age in that\n\n86\n00:04:12.159 --> 00:04:14.639\n is kind of the heart behind what I get to do.\n\n87\n00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:15.919\n And yeah, so thank you.\n\n88\n00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:16.319\n Thank you.\n\n89\n00:04:17.120 --> 00:04:20.639\n That's what I hope that it comes across as.\n\n90\n00:04:20.639 --> 00:04:21.519\n So that's great to hear.\n\n91\n00:04:21.519 --> 00:04:23.360\n I think that's really encouraging.\n\n92\n00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:28.879\n There's so much power in when somebody sees somebody online,\n\n93\n00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:33.199\n like saying that I actually recognize that you can feel alone in this,\n\n94\n00:04:33.199 --> 00:04:34.319\n but you're actually not.\n\n95\n00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:38.480\n And that we're all doing this together as a community.\n\n96\n00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:41.920\n And not only do I feel seen by watching your video,\n\n97\n00:04:41.920 --> 00:04:44.720\n but I also feel seen by God and the community around me\n\n98\n00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:46.879\n that they were doing this all together.\n\n99\n00:04:46.879 --> 00:04:50.240\n And this Christian walk isn't just this constant high,\n\n100\n00:04:50.240 --> 00:04:54.000\n but actually it comes in seasons and waves of it being high and low.\n\n101\n00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:54.560\n That's true.\n\n102\n00:04:54.560 --> 00:04:56.560\n And to be able to be with each other,\n\n103\n00:04:56.560 --> 00:04:59.120\n to encourage each other and that is such a gift.\n\n104\n00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:02.720\n But you briefly mentioned how you sort of stepped away from God.\n\n105\n00:05:02.720 --> 00:05:07.120\n What is the story, but behind that and before?\n\n106\n00:05:07.680 --> 00:05:09.439\n You know, even coming to Jesus.\n\n107\n00:05:09.439 --> 00:05:10.720\n Yeah, good question.\n\n108\n00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:13.519\n I guess like condensed.\n\n109\n00:05:13.519 --> 00:05:15.120\n So I'm from the Netherlands.\n\n110\n00:05:15.120 --> 00:05:17.280\n That's why my accent is a bit weird.\n\n111\n00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:20.720\n I grew up in quite a small town over there\n\n112\n00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:23.519\n and I grew up in a single parent's Christian household.\n\n113\n00:05:23.519 --> 00:05:27.680\n So I was brought up going to church and hearing the word of God.\n\n114\n00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:29.840\n And that's kind of where my foundation was laid\n\n115\n00:05:29.840 --> 00:05:31.199\n for which I'm so grateful.\n\n116\n00:05:32.639 --> 00:05:34.959\n But a big part of what I walked through\n\n117\n00:05:34.959 --> 00:05:36.719\n is that I got bullied a lot in school.\n\n118\n00:05:37.599 --> 00:05:40.319\n So I always felt very alone.\n\n119\n00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:44.719\n And I felt like in a way I was not wanted.\n\n120\n00:05:44.719 --> 00:05:46.479\n Like I grew up without my dad.\n\n121\n00:05:46.479 --> 00:05:49.759\n So I think these things left quite an impact,\n\n122\n00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:51.599\n obviously, as it would on someone.\n\n123\n00:05:53.199 --> 00:05:56.719\n Something that I can see is that I don't know where this comes from,\n\n124\n00:05:56.719 --> 00:06:01.120\n but I always wanted to get out of my hometown\n\n125\n00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:03.439\n and move to like a bigger city and kind of...\n\n126\n00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:06.240\n I don't want to say achieve great things\n\n127\n00:06:06.240 --> 00:06:07.759\n because that sounds quite cringey.\n\n128\n00:06:07.759 --> 00:06:09.360\n But I don't know if you girls can relate.\n\n129\n00:06:09.360 --> 00:06:11.040\n Like just getting out of your hometown\n\n130\n00:06:11.040 --> 00:06:13.279\n and like, you know, doing something else,\n\n131\n00:06:13.279 --> 00:06:15.600\n like not following the status quo in a way,\n\n132\n00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:17.199\n but I didn't know what that looked like.\n\n133\n00:06:17.759 --> 00:06:21.439\n So then fast forward to the end of high school,\n\n134\n00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:23.199\n I did not know what I wanted to study.\n\n135\n00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:25.759\n I'm a creative, but like creatively,\n\n136\n00:06:26.480 --> 00:06:28.959\n it's not really encouraged by a lot of adults\n\n137\n00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:30.720\n to like go do something creative.\n\n138\n00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:32.399\n Like a stable job, you know?\n\n139\n00:06:33.280 --> 00:06:36.000\n So I ended up doing a gap year\n\n140\n00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:38.080\n and I came to London on that gap year.\n\n141\n00:06:39.440 --> 00:06:42.720\n Yeah, and then I ended up...\n\n142\n00:06:42.720 --> 00:06:44.960\n I did end up going to university here.\n\n143\n00:06:44.960 --> 00:06:46.320\n I ended up going to...\n\n144\n00:06:46.320 --> 00:06:47.600\n It's called BIM London.\n\n145\n00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:49.040\n So it's like a music.\n\n146\n00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:49.760\n Yeah.\n\n147\n00:06:49.760 --> 00:06:50.800\n It's just school.\n\n148\n00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:52.800\n So I went there for vocals.\n\n149\n00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:55.120\n I wanted to be a singer-songwriter again,\n\n150\n00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:56.720\n but it's like, hello.\n\n151\n00:06:56.720 --> 00:06:58.400\n It's an important part of my testimony\n\n152\n00:06:58.400 --> 00:07:00.400\n that I wanted from a young age.\n\n153\n00:07:00.400 --> 00:07:01.680\n I wanted to be a singer.\n\n154\n00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:04.079\n That was like, yeah, I think the main thing.\n\n155\n00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:07.600\n And while I was at university,\n\n156\n00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:10.000\n that's kind of where I was surrounded\n\n157\n00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:12.000\n by people living a different lifestyle.\n\n158\n00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:15.360\n And I'm sure that more people our age can relate to this,\n\n159\n00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:18.639\n that yeah, you're seeing people do something else\n\n160\n00:07:18.639 --> 00:07:19.519\n than what you're used to.\n\n161\n00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:21.840\n And I felt like this good Christian girl\n\n162\n00:07:21.840 --> 00:07:24.319\n who hadn't experienced anything in life.\n\n163\n00:07:24.319 --> 00:07:26.480\n And it just seemed like I was missing out,\n\n164\n00:07:27.200 --> 00:07:32.319\n which, to me, I think is such a big trick of the enemy.\n\n165\n00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:34.640\n Like, if we look at the Garden of Eden,\n\n166\n00:07:34.640 --> 00:07:39.520\n that's what his whole plan was to make Eve recognize that.\n\n167\n00:07:39.520 --> 00:07:42.000\n Yeah, they had everything, but what about that thing?\n\n168\n00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:43.600\n You don't have that, though.\n\n169\n00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:46.080\n And I think that's what the enemy does in our lives\n\n170\n00:07:46.080 --> 00:07:49.040\n over and over in different packages in different ways.\n\n171\n00:07:50.160 --> 00:07:52.640\n So I can see how that's what he did with me.\n\n172\n00:07:52.640 --> 00:07:53.840\n You know, I had the Lord,\n\n173\n00:07:53.840 --> 00:07:56.880\n but all these other things in the partying in the lifestyle.\n\n174\n00:07:56.880 --> 00:07:58.320\n Like you're missing out, you're missing out.\n\n175\n00:07:58.320 --> 00:08:05.280\n So what I also could see is that I started to, again,\n\n176\n00:08:05.280 --> 00:08:07.440\n you know how I mentioned that I got bullied in school\n\n177\n00:08:08.320 --> 00:08:09.920\n in university.\n\n178\n00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:13.520\n I could kind of start that, see that starting again,\n\n179\n00:08:13.520 --> 00:08:16.320\n that people could see that I didn't want to go to the parties.\n\n180\n00:08:16.320 --> 00:08:19.040\n I didn't want to drink and do all of these things.\n\n181\n00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:22.000\n So I remember that people called me boring.\n\n182\n00:08:22.079 --> 00:08:24.319\n And I think that triggered something of like,\n\n183\n00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:26.319\n nope, I'm not going to be this girl again.\n\n184\n00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:27.519\n This is not going to happen.\n\n185\n00:08:27.519 --> 00:08:28.480\n Forget this.\n\n186\n00:08:28.480 --> 00:08:33.440\n Like what did a good Christian girl life in a way get me?\n\n187\n00:08:33.440 --> 00:08:34.960\n It didn't get me anything.\n\n188\n00:08:34.960 --> 00:08:36.320\n Goodbye, I'm leaving.\n\n189\n00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:43.039\n And that's where, unfortunately, I kind of took away,\n\n190\n00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:46.879\n away from the Lord and just, yeah,\n\n191\n00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:50.480\n followed that lifestyle that everybody seems to be living.\n\n192\n00:08:50.480 --> 00:08:52.399\n I don't know if you girls can relate to this.\n\n193\n00:08:52.399 --> 00:08:55.200\n Like, you know, that feeling of missing out.\n\n194\n00:08:55.200 --> 00:09:00.399\n And then, yeah, that feeling of wanting to fit in.\n\n195\n00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:02.800\n Yes, and wanting to be accepted,\n\n196\n00:09:02.800 --> 00:09:07.279\n because you've gone through your holes of school journey,\n\n197\n00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:08.560\n of not having that.\n\n198\n00:09:08.560 --> 00:09:09.120\n Yeah.\n\n199\n00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:11.920\n And then being like, okay, well, uni is a fresh start.\n\n200\n00:09:11.920 --> 00:09:13.279\n People don't know me.\n\n201\n00:09:13.279 --> 00:09:14.879\n People don't know where I've come from.\n\n202\n00:09:14.879 --> 00:09:16.159\n So that's it.\n\n203\n00:09:16.159 --> 00:09:19.279\n Like you're not surrounded by your parents and that safety guy.\n\n204\n00:09:19.439 --> 00:09:22.879\n So you kind of feel like you could do what you want to now.\n\n205\n00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:25.480\n So, yeah, I went astray.\n\n206\n00:09:25.480 --> 00:09:28.879\n And I think also a big part of the things\n\n207\n00:09:28.879 --> 00:09:32.759\n that I walked to was to try and get validation\n\n208\n00:09:32.759 --> 00:09:35.679\n for the fact that I didn't have my dad growing up.\n\n209\n00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:40.319\n You know, a father figure is so important in the child's life.\n\n210\n00:09:40.319 --> 00:09:44.839\n And I try to make up for that by getting validation from guys.\n\n211\n00:09:44.840 --> 00:09:49.320\n And I wanted to be seen as like the it girl kind of\n\n212\n00:09:49.320 --> 00:09:50.600\n because I never was that.\n\n213\n00:09:50.600 --> 00:09:52.120\n So I was trying to make up for things\n\n214\n00:09:52.120 --> 00:09:54.840\n that I missed out on in my childhood.\n\n215\n00:09:54.840 --> 00:09:57.040\n And I mean, that's a very slippery slope\n\n216\n00:09:57.040 --> 00:10:01.759\n because whenever you try to get validation outside of God,\n\n217\n00:10:01.759 --> 00:10:03.800\n you're not like, it's not going to work.\n\n218\n00:10:03.800 --> 00:10:05.639\n It's always going to leave you empty again\n\n219\n00:10:05.639 --> 00:10:07.080\n and like you have to try again.\n\n220\n00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:10.320\n And yeah, it was just quite a mess.\n\n221\n00:10:10.320 --> 00:10:14.040\n So, yeah, I straight away from the Lord\n\n222\n00:10:14.039 --> 00:10:15.480\n in that way for a few years.\n\n223\n00:10:15.480 --> 00:10:19.879\n And then I had to come to a place where I hit rock bottom\n\n224\n00:10:19.879 --> 00:10:21.120\n quite hard.\n\n225\n00:10:21.120 --> 00:10:25.879\n And I think God does that sometimes to gracefully break us.\n\n226\n00:10:25.879 --> 00:10:29.240\n I don't think that God longs to hurt us.\n\n227\n00:10:29.240 --> 00:10:32.120\n But I do think we can sometimes be so stubborn\n\n228\n00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:34.959\n that there's no way for us to return back to him\n\n229\n00:10:34.959 --> 00:10:38.360\n unless he takes things away and kind of breaks us down.\n\n230\n00:10:38.360 --> 00:10:40.639\n So he can build us back up again.\n\n231\n00:10:41.080 --> 00:10:43.799\n So yeah, that's the point that I reached\n\n232\n00:10:43.799 --> 00:10:46.360\n where I hit rock bottom and then long story short,\n\n233\n00:10:46.360 --> 00:10:48.360\n that's where, like the prodigal son,\n\n234\n00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:50.799\n you know, we all know this story so well.\n\n235\n00:10:50.799 --> 00:10:53.159\n I realized, okay, I have nothing.\n\n236\n00:10:53.159 --> 00:10:57.799\n Maybe now I should return to God and go knock on his door,\n\n237\n00:10:57.799 --> 00:11:01.480\n which I think is quite sad that we have to get to a place\n\n238\n00:11:01.480 --> 00:11:03.879\n where we have nothing else before we go to God.\n\n239\n00:11:03.879 --> 00:11:09.679\n Like, think about it, that's such a last choice thing to do\n\n240\n00:11:09.680 --> 00:11:12.480\n to return to someone when you have nothing else left.\n\n241\n00:11:12.480 --> 00:11:14.880\n It's like, now I'll go home, it's so sad.\n\n242\n00:11:14.880 --> 00:11:17.640\n But God is so kind and gracious and loving\n\n243\n00:11:17.640 --> 00:11:20.240\n that he does not turn us away in those moments,\n\n244\n00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:22.520\n but that he's already, you know, like in the story\n\n245\n00:11:22.520 --> 00:11:24.960\n of the prodigal son, as our good father,\n\n246\n00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:27.360\n he's already waiting for us down the road\n\n247\n00:11:27.360 --> 00:11:29.240\n with his arms wide open.\n\n248\n00:11:29.240 --> 00:11:31.240\n So that's what I got to experience as well.\n\n249\n00:11:31.240 --> 00:11:34.000\n And I'm so grateful for it.\n\n250\n00:11:35.040 --> 00:11:38.880\n I would not be here today if God did not give me a second chance.\n\n251\n00:11:38.879 --> 00:11:43.879\n So I think that's like everything condensed right there.\n\n252\n00:11:44.200 --> 00:11:45.039\n Yeah.\n\n253\n00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:45.879\n So good.\n\n254\n00:11:45.879 --> 00:11:49.200\n And I think like, I think about the,\n\n255\n00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:52.439\n I think about this a lot, how, you know, when we grow up,\n\n256\n00:11:52.439 --> 00:11:54.840\n we have these like big dreams, like big aspirations.\n\n257\n00:11:54.840 --> 00:11:56.360\n I want to do this, this and that.\n\n258\n00:11:56.360 --> 00:11:58.360\n And we, we crave for that independence\n\n259\n00:11:58.360 --> 00:12:00.600\n at like a really young age, like we all want to grow up\n\n260\n00:12:00.600 --> 00:12:02.679\n so quickly, we want to grow up fast\n\n261\n00:12:02.679 --> 00:12:05.440\n because we think like, when I'm 18,\n\n262\n00:12:05.440 --> 00:12:07.120\n like that's when I'll have like the freedom\n\n263\n00:12:07.159 --> 00:12:09.159\n and I have like the stuff that I can really want,\n\n264\n00:12:09.159 --> 00:12:12.240\n like I can have my own phone, like I can have my own friends,\n\n265\n00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:15.080\n I can have my own car, like I can do whatever I want.\n\n266\n00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:17.240\n But actually, like when we get the thing\n\n267\n00:12:17.240 --> 00:12:19.360\n and when we get the freedom,\n\n268\n00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:22.080\n sometimes we're not equipped enough to deal with that.\n\n269\n00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:25.279\n And we don't have the tools to stew with that very well.\n\n270\n00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:27.240\n And I think that's how I felt like\n\n271\n00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:28.679\n when I got to university, I was like,\n\n272\n00:12:28.679 --> 00:12:33.680\n I finally like, this is my time to build myself, make myself.\n\n273\n00:12:33.880 --> 00:12:37.000\n And it's funny how you talked about like in the,\n\n274\n00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:41.320\n like God can almost take things away to break things down\n\n275\n00:12:41.320 --> 00:12:43.680\n and then you realize how much like you really need him.\n\n276\n00:12:43.680 --> 00:12:47.280\n Like in that season of being away at university,\n\n277\n00:12:47.280 --> 00:12:50.360\n that was the time where God was able to show you\n\n278\n00:12:50.360 --> 00:12:52.320\n that you actually needed him.\n\n279\n00:12:52.320 --> 00:12:56.880\n And I think sometimes like we often do it like isolation,\n\n280\n00:12:56.880 --> 00:12:59.160\n but sometimes isolation can be the making of you.\n\n281\n00:12:59.160 --> 00:13:02.560\n Like when you're actually away from everything that you know,\n\n282\n00:13:02.560 --> 00:13:04.040\n you have nothing else to lean on,\n\n283\n00:13:04.040 --> 00:13:06.360\n but like your own faith, what do I believe?\n\n284\n00:13:06.360 --> 00:13:08.480\n Like what is my relationship with God?\n\n285\n00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:10.520\n And that gets exposed.\n\n286\n00:13:10.520 --> 00:13:13.160\n But actually it's not a thing to like make you feel bad\n\n287\n00:13:13.160 --> 00:13:14.520\n or make you feel shame.\n\n288\n00:13:14.520 --> 00:13:16.520\n It should actually be an invitation for you\n\n289\n00:13:16.520 --> 00:13:18.840\n to realize I desperately need God.\n\n290\n00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:20.800\n And I need to go back to him.\n\n291\n00:13:20.800 --> 00:13:21.640\n Yeah, I don't know.\n\n292\n00:13:21.640 --> 00:13:23.800\n There's something about like the running away from like\n\n293\n00:13:23.800 --> 00:13:25.560\n what we know and what's comforting to us,\n\n294\n00:13:25.560 --> 00:13:27.200\n whether it's your hometown or whatever.\n\n295\n00:13:27.200 --> 00:13:29.600\n Because we think that that's the thing that will make us\n\n296\n00:13:29.600 --> 00:13:31.720\n better or like give us everything we need.\n\n297\n00:13:31.720 --> 00:13:34.160\n But actually it's one where alone and when we're by ourselves,\n\n298\n00:13:34.160 --> 00:13:37.920\n if we realize actually I need God more than I ever thought I did.\n\n299\n00:13:37.920 --> 00:13:39.080\n And I'm listening to your story\n\n300\n00:13:39.080 --> 00:13:41.120\n and I'm realizing that's very similar to mine.\n\n301\n00:13:42.360 --> 00:13:43.920\n Yeah, actually I've so similar.\n\n302\n00:13:43.920 --> 00:13:45.840\n I think we can all relate like being a young adult,\n\n303\n00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:47.960\n we want independence, we want to be by ourselves.\n\n304\n00:13:47.960 --> 00:13:49.040\n But then when we are by ourselves,\n\n305\n00:13:49.040 --> 00:13:51.680\n we realize actually independence is not the answer.\n\n306\n00:13:51.680 --> 00:13:52.960\n The answer is God.\n\n307\n00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:54.399\n Actually need to be dependent.\n\n308\n00:13:54.399 --> 00:13:56.519\n Like it's independence isn't the thing I need.\n\n309\n00:13:56.519 --> 00:13:58.320\n I need dependence on God.\n\n310\n00:13:59.480 --> 00:14:00.320\n Yeah, I don't know.\n\n311\n00:14:00.320 --> 00:14:02.960\n I think that's a really cool threat in your story.\n\n312\n00:14:02.960 --> 00:14:03.560\n Yeah.\n\n313\n00:14:03.560 --> 00:14:06.640\n And you're no longer like sort of riding off of other people's faith.\n\n314\n00:14:06.640 --> 00:14:09.920\n You're almost like checked into an environment where you're like forced\n\n315\n00:14:09.920 --> 00:14:14.520\n to figure like yourself out and find who God really is for you.\n\n316\n00:14:14.520 --> 00:14:15.520\n That's it.\n\n317\n00:14:15.520 --> 00:14:18.800\n And what was that moment like for you to be aware of where you were like,\n\n318\n00:14:18.800 --> 00:14:20.920\n oh, I've just hit rock bottom.\n\n319\n00:14:20.920 --> 00:14:23.360\n I feel like I really need God.\n\n320\n00:14:23.360 --> 00:14:25.160\n Yeah, that's such a good question.\n\n321\n00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:33.279\n So what that looked like for me is I was stuck in this lifestyle of\n\n322\n00:14:34.319 --> 00:14:38.519\n getting validation from places outside of God like I mentioned.\n\n323\n00:14:38.519 --> 00:14:42.159\n So what that looked like for me was on social media,\n\n324\n00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:45.279\n I was always posting pictures of myself and looking for the likes\n\n325\n00:14:45.279 --> 00:14:47.199\n and I wanted certain guys to respond.\n\n326\n00:14:47.199 --> 00:14:50.199\n I'm sure that a lot of girls our age can relate to that.\n\n327\n00:14:50.600 --> 00:14:53.400\n And I was partying.\n\n328\n00:14:53.400 --> 00:14:58.560\n I came home at like I remember one day I came home at 11 in the morning,\n\n329\n00:14:58.560 --> 00:15:00.520\n which was like to me, that was late,\n\n330\n00:15:00.520 --> 00:15:06.120\n but I would hang out in places in London where like a lot of celebrities go\n\n331\n00:15:06.120 --> 00:15:08.560\n and I would find that so cool like to tell my friends,\n\n332\n00:15:08.560 --> 00:15:10.640\n guess who I saw the next day blah, blah.\n\n333\n00:15:10.640 --> 00:15:15.240\n I was just stuck in the cycle that was so superficial and the thing\n\n334\n00:15:15.240 --> 00:15:19.920\n that I can see now is all of these things that you think are going to\n\n335\n00:15:19.920 --> 00:15:21.600\n give you validation and freedom.\n\n336\n00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:22.560\n Like you mentioned,\n\n337\n00:15:22.560 --> 00:15:26.920\n Kenya are the things that actually leave you more empty afterwards.\n\n338\n00:15:26.920 --> 00:15:28.600\n But in the moment you don't see that,\n\n339\n00:15:28.600 --> 00:15:32.640\n that it actually makes things worse and you have to keep it going\n\n340\n00:15:32.640 --> 00:15:38.200\n because otherwise, you're kind of left in the silence\n\n341\n00:15:38.200 --> 00:15:41.360\n and you have to face your actions and see that this is not working.\n\n342\n00:15:41.360 --> 00:15:44.760\n So a lot of people who live these lifestyles have to keep it going\n\n343\n00:15:44.760 --> 00:15:47.440\n and they have to go out again and do the next thing\n\n344\n00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:48.960\n because you don't want that silence.\n\n345\n00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:54.080\n You know, I could see myself in that and I remember that one day I came home\n\n346\n00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:56.480\n at like 11 in the morning and I just sat in my bed.\n\n347\n00:15:56.480 --> 00:16:01.240\n I was living in this box room at the time because I mean, it's a it's a long story\n\n348\n00:16:01.240 --> 00:16:04.480\n but I kind of when I hit rock bottom,\n\n349\n00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:06.320\n I didn't have a room in London.\n\n350\n00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:08.280\n My housing situation back home,\n\n351\n00:16:08.280 --> 00:16:10.639\n me and my mom don't have the best relationship.\n\n352\n00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:17.360\n I don't have a dad so I kind of had to I ended up in this box room in London,\n\n353\n00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:25.759\n basically and I was just sitting in my bed looking at my stuff piled up in the corner\n\n354\n00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:30.399\n and you know, coming home so late, I was tired and I just had this thought of\n\n355\n00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:32.800\n how am I going to keep this going?\n\n356\n00:16:32.800 --> 00:16:35.800\n Like surely there's more to life than this.\n\n357\n00:16:35.800 --> 00:16:40.480\n I'm tired, I'm exhausted with my actions like it's not working.\n\n358\n00:16:40.480 --> 00:16:44.879\n Again, something that I was doing was finding validation in guys.\n\n359\n00:16:44.919 --> 00:16:48.399\n I want it guys to tell me that I was enough that I was good enough to stay\n\n360\n00:16:48.399 --> 00:16:53.279\n because my dad never told me those things but then the guys that I was trying to chase\n\n361\n00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:58.639\n were also not giving me that validation and I was just tired.\n\n362\n00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:06.720\n I just yeah, I felt like I couldn't do this anymore and that's where that still small voice\n\n363\n00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:12.880\n of the Lord of God spoke to me so clearly and you know, in the moment it's just like a thought\n\n364\n00:17:12.880 --> 00:17:14.000\n that pops into your mind.\n\n365\n00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:16.560\n It's not this like crazy moment of like God spoke to me.\n\n366\n00:17:16.560 --> 00:17:18.160\n I heard this voice from heaven.\n\n367\n00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:24.480\n It was just a thought that was placed into my mind that kind of said Dabora,\n\n368\n00:17:25.600 --> 00:17:28.480\n clearly this lifestyle is not working, right?\n\n369\n00:17:28.480 --> 00:17:31.360\n You've tried it all, you're tired, it's not working out for you.\n\n370\n00:17:31.360 --> 00:17:33.760\n Why don't you return back to God?\n\n371\n00:17:33.760 --> 00:17:35.520\n Why don't you come back to me?\n\n372\n00:17:35.520 --> 00:17:39.920\n Give that you're all and if that does not work, go back to the life you're living now.\n\n373\n00:17:39.920 --> 00:17:43.519\n Like you have nothing to lose kind of thing and I remember at that time,\n\n374\n00:17:44.800 --> 00:17:49.840\n I would call myself a lukewarm Christian so I would still say that I was a Christian.\n\n375\n00:17:50.560 --> 00:17:54.000\n If people ask me like what's your faith, I would say a Christian but you couldn't see that\n\n376\n00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:56.800\n anywhere in my life, right? I wasn't living out the word.\n\n377\n00:17:56.800 --> 00:17:58.640\n I did not believe God's promises.\n\n378\n00:17:58.640 --> 00:18:02.160\n I didn't believe that God loved me even though I heard it so often in church.\n\n379\n00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:05.120\n Like I was lukewarm, that's how I would describe it.\n\n380\n00:18:05.120 --> 00:18:12.560\n But I was still going to church and following like social media pages that would post Bible\n\n381\n00:18:12.560 --> 00:18:18.880\n scriptures and the Bible verse that kept coming up was Matthew 6 verse 33, which says,\n\n382\n00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:23.600\n seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added onto you.\n\n383\n00:18:23.600 --> 00:18:26.320\n And it just kept pulping up in random places.\n\n384\n00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:32.000\n So then while this thought came into my mind of like, you know, give me your all,\n\n385\n00:18:32.000 --> 00:18:36.400\n that Bible verse was kind of clung to it like, give me your everything.\n\n386\n00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:39.119\n And I will make sure that you have everything you need.\n\n387\n00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:43.599\n The things that you're now in your own strength trying to obtain come to me.\n\n388\n00:18:43.599 --> 00:18:45.359\n And I'll make sure you have that.\n\n389\n00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:49.039\n And because I had nothing to lose in that moment, I was like, you know what?\n\n390\n00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:54.160\n I don't think as humans we can say that we've tried something fully unless we've given it our all.\n\n391\n00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:57.759\n And if I looked up my journey with God, I hadn't done that.\n\n392\n00:18:57.839 --> 00:19:03.519\n Like you kind of mentioned before Michelle, I had, when you grow up in a Christian household,\n\n393\n00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:11.200\n you kind of get passed on the faith of your parents, but it's not your personal experience,\n\n394\n00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:12.160\n right? Yeah.\n\n395\n00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:16.319\n So I could see that I hadn't had that personal walk with God.\n\n396\n00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:17.759\n So how could I say that?\n\n397\n00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:21.200\n I gave the Lord a chance when I hadn't.\n\n398\n00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:22.000\n Yeah.\n\n399\n00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:24.400\n So in that moment, I remember I just went on Amazon.\n\n400\n00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:25.360\n I got a Bible again.\n\n401\n00:19:25.360 --> 00:19:27.759\n I didn't even have a physical Bible anymore.\n\n402\n00:19:27.759 --> 00:19:29.759\n And I just kind of isolated myself.\n\n403\n00:19:29.759 --> 00:19:31.120\n I was like, okay, let's do this.\n\n404\n00:19:31.120 --> 00:19:32.320\n Let's give this a try.\n\n405\n00:19:32.320 --> 00:19:35.600\n And if it does not work, then I can just go back, you know?\n\n406\n00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:43.120\n And I mentioned like I gave God a chance, but obviously it was him who gave me another chance, right?\n\n407\n00:19:44.160 --> 00:19:48.000\n And it's in that moment where things just started to change.\n\n408\n00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:52.080\n I saw that the Bible is the truth.\n\n409\n00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:55.039\n And when you live by it, you see the fruits of it.\n\n410\n00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:58.000\n So Matthew 6 verse 33, seek first the kingdom of God.\n\n411\n00:19:58.000 --> 00:19:59.439\n I started to do that.\n\n412\n00:19:59.439 --> 00:20:04.159\n And then slowly, but surely, everything else around me started to shift.\n\n413\n00:20:04.159 --> 00:20:07.759\n And God started to do, to do a work within me when it came\n\n414\n00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:09.599\n to finding validation in guys.\n\n415\n00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:14.559\n And having that father wound, God really started to show me, I'm your father.\n\n416\n00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:17.519\n You can cling to me in that, expect me to show up.\n\n417\n00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:18.879\n And I will be there.\n\n418\n00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:23.680\n And it was a very slow process of kind of detoxing all of the things that I had clung to.\n\n419\n00:20:24.320 --> 00:20:28.560\n But yeah, slowly, but surely, things were just shifting.\n\n420\n00:20:28.560 --> 00:20:30.800\n And my desire for things started to change.\n\n421\n00:20:30.800 --> 00:20:34.640\n And these places that I was hanging out at, I remember one time specifically,\n\n422\n00:20:34.640 --> 00:20:39.280\n I was at this bar in London where, you know, all these celebrities would be.\n\n423\n00:20:39.280 --> 00:20:42.560\n And I was sitting there listening to this girl talking to me.\n\n424\n00:20:42.560 --> 00:20:46.960\n And the conversations that you have with people are very surface level.\n\n425\n00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:50.160\n And something that I saw people would do with me all the time is,\n\n426\n00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:51.759\n I like to listen to people.\n\n427\n00:20:51.759 --> 00:20:54.880\n And there was one girl who said, oh, um,\n\n428\n00:20:55.840 --> 00:20:58.799\n Debora, like, you're such a good friend.\n\n429\n00:20:58.799 --> 00:21:00.559\n Like, I really enjoy spending time with you.\n\n430\n00:21:00.559 --> 00:21:01.200\n You're so great.\n\n431\n00:21:01.200 --> 00:21:03.120\n And I was like, you haven't even asked me one question.\n\n432\n00:21:03.120 --> 00:21:04.480\n You don't know anything about me.\n\n433\n00:21:05.360 --> 00:21:08.720\n And I think that's when the veil kind of got pulled away,\n\n434\n00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:10.000\n where I was just looking around.\n\n435\n00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:11.680\n And I was like, what am I doing here?\n\n436\n00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:13.120\n Why am I here?\n\n437\n00:21:13.200 --> 00:21:17.360\n So this place that I had found comfort in being,\n\n438\n00:21:17.360 --> 00:21:20.640\n I now could see the veil being pulled away from that.\n\n439\n00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:22.160\n And I saw things for what they were.\n\n440\n00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:23.920\n And that was the last time I ever went there.\n\n441\n00:21:23.920 --> 00:21:25.920\n Because I was like, I don't need this anymore.\n\n442\n00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:30.640\n Because now I'm, I get to spend time with the actual source of life.\n\n443\n00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:33.760\n And spending time with Jesus is actually changing things.\n\n444\n00:21:33.760 --> 00:21:38.080\n So why would I want this like counterfeit stuff\n\n445\n00:21:38.080 --> 00:21:39.840\n when I have the real thing?\n\n446\n00:21:40.559 --> 00:21:44.159\n So yeah, that's where I came back to Christ.\n\n447\n00:21:44.159 --> 00:21:47.839\n And since then, I mean, my whole life has just turned upside down.\n\n448\n00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:49.839\n I think that is so profound.\n\n449\n00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:54.399\n Like, for me, Matthew 6.83 has been a really transformative\n\n450\n00:21:54.399 --> 00:21:56.000\n like scripture in my life.\n\n451\n00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:59.839\n And I think the Lord is just so,\n\n452\n00:21:59.839 --> 00:22:02.639\n like, he thinks of things before we can even think of them.\n\n453\n00:22:02.639 --> 00:22:05.199\n Like, he just knows how it goes.\n\n454\n00:22:05.199 --> 00:22:06.879\n He knows the best things for us.\n\n455\n00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:11.440\n I think the searching for the validation\n\n456\n00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:15.280\n in, like, distorted places is so relatable,\n\n457\n00:22:15.280 --> 00:22:17.760\n like searching for the likes, the approval.\n\n458\n00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:22.320\n Because as human beings, we crave to be loved.\n\n459\n00:22:22.320 --> 00:22:24.320\n It's not wrong to want to be loved.\n\n460\n00:22:24.320 --> 00:22:25.920\n It's not wrong to want connection.\n\n461\n00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:27.760\n It's not wrong to want to be seen.\n\n462\n00:22:27.760 --> 00:22:30.560\n Like, these are all things that we need as people.\n\n463\n00:22:30.560 --> 00:22:33.760\n Like God's designed us that way to receive love.\n\n464\n00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:37.680\n But it's going to the wrong places to meet those needs.\n\n465\n00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:40.799\n Because more damage is done when we go to the wrong places.\n\n466\n00:22:40.799 --> 00:22:43.119\n Because like you said, you just keep chasing it, chasing it.\n\n467\n00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:46.000\n And it's like, you're on this another ending treadmill\n\n468\n00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:46.799\n and you're tired.\n\n469\n00:22:46.799 --> 00:22:48.960\n And like, you get to the end of yourself at 11 a.m.\n\n470\n00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:50.480\n and you're sitting in your bed like,\n\n471\n00:22:50.480 --> 00:22:52.319\n I just can't do this anymore.\n\n472\n00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:54.799\n Like, this is not sustainable.\n\n473\n00:22:54.799 --> 00:22:56.559\n I feel like the world paints this picture\n\n474\n00:22:56.559 --> 00:22:59.839\n that like, if you keep chasing these insufficient means\n\n475\n00:22:59.839 --> 00:23:02.799\n for validation and love, that it's enough.\n\n476\n00:23:02.879 --> 00:23:06.159\n But it just makes you more tired in the process.\n\n477\n00:23:06.159 --> 00:23:08.960\n And I think getting to that place where the Lord was like,\n\n478\n00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:11.919\n just come back home, like come back to the thing\n\n479\n00:23:11.919 --> 00:23:13.279\n that you were running away from\n\n480\n00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:15.599\n because you thought that going to other places\n\n481\n00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:18.399\n would be the thing that would like suit your soul.\n\n482\n00:23:18.399 --> 00:23:20.639\n But actually going back to what you did first,\n\n483\n00:23:20.639 --> 00:23:22.559\n it kind of reminds me of that scripture from Revelation\n\n484\n00:23:22.559 --> 00:23:24.559\n where it's like, you guys did all these things.\n\n485\n00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:26.399\n Jesus speaking to one of the churches.\n\n486\n00:23:26.399 --> 00:23:27.599\n And it's like, you did all these things,\n\n487\n00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:29.519\n but you forgot the first love.\n\n488\n00:23:29.519 --> 00:23:32.720\n Like you forgot your, the love you had for the first.\n\n489\n00:23:33.360 --> 00:23:36.799\n And I think it's so powerful when we accept the love of God.\n\n490\n00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:39.279\n And we stop trying to find this like counterfeit love\n\n491\n00:23:39.279 --> 00:23:43.600\n in other places like it just changes so much.\n\n492\n00:23:43.600 --> 00:23:47.360\n You start to like, like you said, see things differently.\n\n493\n00:23:47.360 --> 00:23:52.079\n And even like you talking about how the places you used to go to,\n\n494\n00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:54.000\n like you naturally just felt this,\n\n495\n00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:56.559\n actually, I don't think I want to be here anymore.\n\n496\n00:23:56.559 --> 00:23:59.839\n I think a lot of the times coming to God feels very scary\n\n497\n00:23:59.839 --> 00:24:01.839\n because it feels like you have to do a lot of work.\n\n498\n00:24:01.919 --> 00:24:03.839\n Like I have to clean myself up.\n\n499\n00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:06.399\n I need to in my own strength like cut these people out\n\n500\n00:24:06.399 --> 00:24:08.959\n or stop going to these places or stop listening to this\n\n501\n00:24:08.959 --> 00:24:10.399\n and then I can come to God.\n\n502\n00:24:10.399 --> 00:24:13.279\n But actually like God wants us to return to the love first\n\n503\n00:24:13.279 --> 00:24:15.039\n like just to seek him first.\n\n504\n00:24:15.039 --> 00:24:16.799\n And then he will take care of the rest.\n\n505\n00:24:16.799 --> 00:24:20.639\n Like you don't need to worry about undoing all your baggage.\n\n506\n00:24:20.639 --> 00:24:23.759\n Like bring your bags to God and he will take care of that.\n\n507\n00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:25.119\n He is just so gracious.\n\n508\n00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:27.599\n And like just circling back to what you said before\n\n509\n00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:31.439\n about how God didn't like shame you for coming back to him.\n\n510\n00:24:31.519 --> 00:24:35.600\n Or God doesn't go like well you left me so I don't need you.\n\n511\n00:24:35.600 --> 00:24:36.720\n Like he's not like that.\n\n512\n00:24:36.720 --> 00:24:38.480\n Like he welcomes us back\n\n513\n00:24:38.480 --> 00:24:40.640\n because he knows that he is the only place\n\n514\n00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:42.799\n where we can have all our needs met.\n\n515\n00:24:42.799 --> 00:24:45.440\n He is the only place where we can be sustained.\n\n516\n00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:47.519\n He is the only place where we can see ourselves\n\n517\n00:24:47.519 --> 00:24:51.759\n truly for who we are, who he's created us to be in his image.\n\n518\n00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:54.960\n And our lives will just forever be changed afterwards.\n\n519\n00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:57.680\n And I just think like even as you're talking\n\n520\n00:24:57.680 --> 00:24:59.600\n there's just such a like lightness.\n\n521\n00:24:59.600 --> 00:25:01.680\n Like you know, and Jesus says my, my burden is light\n\n522\n00:25:01.680 --> 00:25:02.880\n and my yolk is easy.\n\n523\n00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:05.600\n Like you actually, it's not something that you've read\n\n524\n00:25:05.600 --> 00:25:07.600\n but you've embodied that and you live that\n\n525\n00:25:07.600 --> 00:25:09.360\n and you've experienced that.\n\n526\n00:25:09.360 --> 00:25:10.560\n I think God is kind.\n\n527\n00:25:10.560 --> 00:25:12.800\n And as you're talking about your story,\n\n528\n00:25:12.800 --> 00:25:14.720\n I just hear like God is just so kind.\n\n529\n00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:15.520\n Yeah, amen.\n\n530\n00:25:15.520 --> 00:25:19.040\n He's so kind and he welcomes us back time and time again.\n\n531\n00:25:19.040 --> 00:25:20.080\n Yeah, that's it.\n\n532\n00:25:20.080 --> 00:25:23.360\n And just off the back of that, I wanted to say like you talked about\n\n533\n00:25:23.360 --> 00:25:26.080\n we don't have to clean ourselves up before we come to God.\n\n534\n00:25:26.080 --> 00:25:27.840\n I remember at this time,\n\n535\n00:25:27.839 --> 00:25:30.639\n I read a book or I saw a quote that said,\n\n536\n00:25:30.639 --> 00:25:34.079\n when you take a shower, you don't clean\n\n537\n00:25:34.079 --> 00:25:35.679\n before you get in the shower.\n\n538\n00:25:35.679 --> 00:25:37.919\n Like the shower is there to clean you.\n\n539\n00:25:37.919 --> 00:25:40.480\n And God's love works in that same way.\n\n540\n00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:42.079\n Like just come to him.\n\n541\n00:25:42.079 --> 00:25:45.839\n There's a Bible verse in, I believe it's in Jeremiah\n\n542\n00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:50.399\n where God says my wayward children return back to me\n\n543\n00:25:50.399 --> 00:25:55.119\n and I will be the one to like soothe your wounds and to heal you.\n\n544\n00:25:55.120 --> 00:25:57.760\n So in other words, just return back home.\n\n545\n00:25:57.760 --> 00:26:00.800\n Just go to the Lord and he will make sure that everything\n\n546\n00:26:00.800 --> 00:26:03.440\n that's not in alignment with what he has for us\n\n547\n00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:05.840\n will slowly but surely shed off.\n\n548\n00:26:05.840 --> 00:26:11.600\n And what I can also see is that God is so patient, right?\n\n549\n00:26:11.600 --> 00:26:13.200\n So when I look back at that time,\n\n550\n00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:15.120\n I can see that over a few months,\n\n551\n00:26:15.120 --> 00:26:17.520\n there was still some things that I was entangled in\n\n552\n00:26:17.520 --> 00:26:22.320\n that were not very healthy and that I know that God wanted me to let go of.\n\n553\n00:26:22.320 --> 00:26:24.080\n But it was like a process.\n\n554\n00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:25.519\n It wasn't like day and night.\n\n555\n00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:27.359\n Like, oh, now I have to let all of this go.\n\n556\n00:26:27.359 --> 00:26:28.799\n It was slowly but surely.\n\n557\n00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:32.879\n And the Lord, he was just so kind to walk with me in that.\n\n558\n00:26:32.879 --> 00:26:35.439\n I can really see it and I'm so grateful for that.\n\n559\n00:26:35.439 --> 00:26:38.559\n And I'm sure that you girls have seen that in your own lives also.\n\n560\n00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:43.039\n Like, yeah, God is so patient and he's so loving and he's so kind\n\n561\n00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:45.599\n and I'm just so grateful that he is that.\n\n562\n00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:46.960\n So yeah.\n\n563\n00:26:46.960 --> 00:26:50.240\n I think it's super encouraging talking about the process.\n\n564\n00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:51.279\n Like, yeah.\n\n565\n00:26:51.359 --> 00:26:53.759\n Because I think so many people have that\n\n566\n00:26:53.759 --> 00:26:55.599\n thought of like, oh, I want to come to God.\n\n567\n00:26:55.599 --> 00:26:58.559\n But like, they're just so much to do or like, I want to come to God.\n\n568\n00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:01.039\n But like, it's going to have to take away that, that, that.\n\n569\n00:27:01.039 --> 00:27:02.559\n And it's like, oh, can't be asked.\n\n570\n00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:04.160\n Like I'm so comfortable.\n\n571\n00:27:04.160 --> 00:27:05.680\n Like, oh, that's just so inconvenient.\n\n572\n00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:07.279\n That's just going to be really uncomfortable.\n\n573\n00:27:07.279 --> 00:27:09.920\n But we forget that like, it's not on us.\n\n574\n00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:11.839\n Like, God is the one that will take care of it.\n\n575\n00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:14.720\n Like, that same verse, like, seek first to kick them\n\n576\n00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:16.000\n and all these things will be added.\n\n577\n00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:17.599\n He will be added by God.\n\n578\n00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:20.399\n Like, he's the one that says, I will take care of it.\n\n579\n00:27:20.480 --> 00:27:24.720\n You just seek me like over time, like, our faith is a lifelong journey.\n\n580\n00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:26.720\n Like, there are things that like, we're going to be figuring out\n\n581\n00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:30.000\n throughout our entire lives, which means that God is still working.\n\n582\n00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:31.440\n And he will continue to work.\n\n583\n00:27:31.440 --> 00:27:33.200\n And he will continue to chip things away.\n\n584\n00:27:33.200 --> 00:27:36.960\n And he'll continue to like put to bed old habits, old patterns of thinking.\n\n585\n00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:38.240\n And it's not on you.\n\n586\n00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:40.240\n Like, so I thought I just want to encourage you.\n\n587\n00:27:40.240 --> 00:27:40.960\n Have this thing.\n\n588\n00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:43.920\n Like, maybe you feel like, oh, like, I'm at the start of my faith journey.\n\n589\n00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:46.080\n And like, there's so much that I want God to like, take away.\n\n590\n00:27:46.080 --> 00:27:49.040\n Or like, whatever the case is, like, just chill.\n\n591\n00:27:49.599 --> 00:27:50.720\n Like, just chill.\n\n592\n00:27:50.720 --> 00:27:53.200\n And like, just be still and know that he's God.\n\n593\n00:27:53.200 --> 00:27:56.879\n Like, be still and know that it's in his hands.\n\n594\n00:27:56.879 --> 00:27:58.159\n It's in his timing.\n\n595\n00:27:58.159 --> 00:28:00.319\n Like, you're walking this out with God,\n\n596\n00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:02.559\n which means it's a day by day step by step.\n\n597\n00:28:02.559 --> 00:28:03.519\n Keep going to him.\n\n598\n00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:05.039\n Keep being in relationship with him.\n\n599\n00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:07.039\n And he will take care of everything else.\n\n600\n00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:09.119\n And you'll look back in years to come and be like,\n\n601\n00:28:09.119 --> 00:28:10.159\n wait, I stopped doing that.\n\n602\n00:28:10.159 --> 00:28:10.799\n Like, yeah.\n\n603\n00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:13.200\n And even realize, well, I don't even think like that anymore.\n\n604\n00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:15.200\n Like, oh, where are those people that like,\n\n605\n00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:17.039\n I used to hang out with and it wasn't really healthy.\n\n606\n00:28:17.039 --> 00:28:18.159\n Like, where did they go?\n\n607\n00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:20.800\n And it's like, you just kept focusing on following God.\n\n608\n00:28:20.800 --> 00:28:24.320\n You kept seeking him first and he took care of everything.\n\n609\n00:28:24.320 --> 00:28:26.800\n It's not on your own efforts or your own strength.\n\n610\n00:28:26.800 --> 00:28:28.800\n Just seek God and let him be God.\n\n611\n00:28:28.800 --> 00:28:29.279\n Totally.\n\n612\n00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:31.200\n And I think we can like, complicate it.\n\n613\n00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:34.080\n So I think as Christians, we can think on a way.\n\n614\n00:28:34.080 --> 00:28:37.759\n I, you know, I read the Bible and all these people around me\n\n615\n00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:39.120\n seem to be so perfect.\n\n616\n00:28:39.120 --> 00:28:40.960\n They don't have a single like,\n\n617\n00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:42.160\n Flore in their life.\n\n618\n00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:44.880\n And I need to be like, if I need to, if I want to follow God.\n\n619\n00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:47.600\n But actually, like, Jesus isn't like,\n\n620\n00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:51.040\n he isn't afraid of our, like, he just like, humanity.\n\n621\n00:28:51.040 --> 00:28:53.920\n And just who we are, like, we are broken beings.\n\n622\n00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:55.360\n And yeah, actually, invite sick.\n\n623\n00:28:55.360 --> 00:28:56.400\n Then that's like, you know,\n\n624\n00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:59.600\n I was no longer trying to rely on our own strength\n\n625\n00:28:59.600 --> 00:29:01.200\n and trying to like, figure things out ourselves.\n\n626\n00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:03.200\n But then we actually go to him instead.\n\n627\n00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:06.800\n And that alone is so wonderful and beautiful to the Lord.\n\n628\n00:29:06.800 --> 00:29:08.000\n And that gives him praise.\n\n629\n00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:09.440\n And he loves that.\n\n630\n00:29:09.440 --> 00:29:11.680\n And to like, have child like faith to go to him,\n\n631\n00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:13.760\n be like, that I need you.\n\n632\n00:29:13.760 --> 00:29:16.320\n Yeah, that really needs your help.\n\n633\n00:29:16.399 --> 00:29:19.359\n And it's like you said, Zen, it's a day today.\n\n634\n00:29:19.359 --> 00:29:21.839\n It's a, okay, I wake up in the morning.\n\n635\n00:29:21.839 --> 00:29:24.159\n Your, your mercy is a new every morning.\n\n636\n00:29:24.159 --> 00:29:27.759\n I get to like, I get to walk this day out,\n\n637\n00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:29.200\n knowing that you love me.\n\n638\n00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:31.519\n And there's like wonder and mystery\n\n639\n00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:33.679\n and love, this great freedom that you have for me\n\n640\n00:29:33.679 --> 00:29:35.119\n that I can walk out today.\n\n641\n00:29:35.119 --> 00:29:35.759\n Amen.\n\n642\n00:29:35.759 --> 00:29:37.919\n And there's another one tomorrow.\n\n643\n00:29:37.919 --> 00:29:39.200\n Obviously tomorrow is not promised,\n\n644\n00:29:39.200 --> 00:29:41.599\n but it's a day, today walk with him.\n\n645\n00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:41.839\n Yeah.\n\n646\n00:29:41.839 --> 00:29:44.799\n It's not like, okay, I see myself now.\n\n647\n00:29:44.879 --> 00:29:46.799\n I want to be at this place over there,\n\n648\n00:29:46.799 --> 00:29:48.159\n but I don't know how to get there.\n\n649\n00:29:48.159 --> 00:29:50.960\n That's not your, that's not your job\n\n650\n00:29:50.960 --> 00:29:52.799\n to know how to get there.\n\n651\n00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:53.759\n That's God.\n\n652\n00:29:53.759 --> 00:29:56.559\n And that, that, that means putting trust in the Lord\n\n653\n00:29:56.559 --> 00:29:58.799\n and knowing that he is good, you know,\n\n654\n00:29:58.799 --> 00:30:02.639\n be still before the Lord and wait on him.\n\n655\n00:30:02.639 --> 00:30:03.759\n And do you know what?\n\n656\n00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:06.639\n I was going to say like to touch on that,\n\n657\n00:30:06.639 --> 00:30:08.159\n you were like, oh, it's not your job\n\n658\n00:30:08.159 --> 00:30:10.159\n to figure it out, it's your father's job.\n\n659\n00:30:10.159 --> 00:30:12.399\n But when you've grown up with no father,\n\n660\n00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:14.800\n you buy nature, I think that it is your job.\n\n661\n00:30:14.800 --> 00:30:15.519\n Yes, it's true.\n\n662\n00:30:15.519 --> 00:30:18.000\n And I personally like have experienced that myself,\n\n663\n00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:21.280\n like having no like present father figure\n\n664\n00:30:21.280 --> 00:30:22.880\n to like guide me in my day to day,\n\n665\n00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:24.560\n give me advice, like help me out.\n\n666\n00:30:24.560 --> 00:30:26.320\n You naturally grow up with the sense\n\n667\n00:30:26.320 --> 00:30:28.160\n of hyper independence where you're like,\n\n668\n00:30:28.160 --> 00:30:30.000\n I would not have anybody to leave me.\n\n669\n00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:30.320\n Yeah.\n\n670\n00:30:30.320 --> 00:30:32.400\n So I have to leave myself.\n\n671\n00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:35.519\n And it's something that can be so subconsciously picked\n\n672\n00:30:35.519 --> 00:30:37.200\n up as a child, like you naturally,\n\n673\n00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:39.120\n but then it follows you into your teen years\n\n674\n00:30:39.120 --> 00:30:41.040\n and your adult years and you realize,\n\n675\n00:30:41.039 --> 00:30:43.839\n well, like, I think I know what's best for me.\n\n676\n00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:46.079\n Because my whole life, I've just had to figure it out.\n\n677\n00:30:46.079 --> 00:30:47.680\n Like I've had to know what's best for me.\n\n678\n00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:48.480\n Yeah.\n\n679\n00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:51.039\n And that's something like God took me\n\n680\n00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:52.319\n on the process of relearning.\n\n681\n00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:55.759\n Like I am so different to an earthly father.\n\n682\n00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:57.359\n I am so different to man.\n\n683\n00:30:57.359 --> 00:31:00.000\n Like the Bible says, God is not a man that he should lie.\n\n684\n00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:01.599\n He's not a man that he should change his mind.\n\n685\n00:31:01.599 --> 00:31:05.440\n Like God is so much greater than any earthly father\n\n686\n00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:06.240\n could ever be.\n\n687\n00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:06.879\n Yeah.\n\n688\n00:31:06.879 --> 00:31:08.720\n And only he can reveal that to you.\n\n689\n00:31:08.880 --> 00:31:11.120\n Like when you surrender yourself to him\n\n690\n00:31:11.120 --> 00:31:12.319\n and when you say, you know what, God,\n\n691\n00:31:12.319 --> 00:31:14.319\n I want you to be my Lord and I want you to be my Savior.\n\n692\n00:31:14.319 --> 00:31:15.680\n I want you to guide me.\n\n693\n00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:18.799\n And you let him be God, let him lead.\n\n694\n00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:21.200\n Then you realize, wow, like you're taking me\n\n695\n00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:23.759\n in a direction that I could have never taken myself in.\n\n696\n00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:24.880\n That's way better for me.\n\n697\n00:31:24.880 --> 00:31:27.039\n Like you are literally a good father\n\n698\n00:31:27.039 --> 00:31:28.559\n who wants good things for me.\n\n699\n00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:30.640\n And so like I just want to encourage anybody\n\n700\n00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:32.880\n that's like maybe that's like struck a chord.\n\n701\n00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:34.960\n Like maybe you're in like a fatherless context\n\n702\n00:31:34.960 --> 00:31:36.640\n of whatever that might mean to you.\n\n703\n00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:39.040\n But I just want to encourage you that like God is way\n\n704\n00:31:39.040 --> 00:31:41.920\n better than any earthly father could ever be.\n\n705\n00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:43.680\n Like God will never let you down.\n\n706\n00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:45.680\n Like an earthly father could let you down.\n\n707\n00:31:45.680 --> 00:31:48.320\n You'll never abandon you or discourage you\n\n708\n00:31:48.320 --> 00:31:50.640\n or make you feel abandoned or rejected.\n\n709\n00:31:50.640 --> 00:31:52.480\n Like any earthly father ever could\n\n710\n00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:54.480\n because he made you, he loves you,\n\n711\n00:31:54.480 --> 00:31:55.680\n and he has a plan for you.\n\n712\n00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:57.120\n And he wants you to trust him\n\n713\n00:31:57.120 --> 00:31:58.800\n because he has good things for you.\n\n714\n00:31:58.800 --> 00:31:59.680\n That's right.\n\n715\n00:31:59.680 --> 00:32:01.040\n I just feel really stronger on that\n\n716\n00:32:01.040 --> 00:32:02.480\n because I just know how that feels.\n\n717\n00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:03.759\n And I feel like so many people,\n\n718\n00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:06.240\n especially young girls could probably relate to that\n\n719\n00:32:06.319 --> 00:32:06.799\n as well.\n\n720\n00:32:06.799 --> 00:32:09.440\n I love how like all of our stories are actually quite similar.\n\n721\n00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:10.000\n Yeah.\n\n722\n00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:12.400\n Growing up with like either an absent father\n\n723\n00:32:12.400 --> 00:32:15.599\n or just like a dad that's not there at all in our lives.\n\n724\n00:32:15.599 --> 00:32:19.279\n And I think there's a beautiful like recognition\n\n725\n00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:22.160\n point within your journey and walk with the Lord\n\n726\n00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:23.839\n like to like finding your,\n\n727\n00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:26.480\n finding who you are as a daughter.\n\n728\n00:32:26.480 --> 00:32:27.279\n Yeah.\n\n729\n00:32:27.279 --> 00:32:28.319\n In God.\n\n730\n00:32:28.319 --> 00:32:30.160\n And how he's your dad, he's your papa.\n\n731\n00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:32.720\n He actually does care and he's looking after you\n\n732\n00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:34.720\n and he does have good things for you.\n\n733\n00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:37.360\n And knowing that like even like when you were growing up\n\n734\n00:32:37.360 --> 00:32:39.360\n and you didn't have the awareness of God\n\n735\n00:32:39.360 --> 00:32:41.120\n that he was that loving you.\n\n736\n00:32:41.120 --> 00:32:41.600\n Yeah.\n\n737\n00:32:41.600 --> 00:32:42.160\n That's it.\n\n738\n00:32:42.160 --> 00:32:44.319\n Like what comes to mind is something\n\n739\n00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:47.759\n that I read in this book by A. W. Tozer\n\n740\n00:32:47.759 --> 00:32:49.200\n called The Pursuit of God.\n\n741\n00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:49.759\n Yes.\n\n742\n00:32:49.759 --> 00:32:50.559\n Have you read it?\n\n743\n00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:51.039\n I've read it.\n\n744\n00:32:51.039 --> 00:32:52.079\n That's Michelle's book.\n\n745\n00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:54.799\n Listen, it's a game readable.\n\n746\n00:32:54.799 --> 00:32:58.400\n There's a bit where he talks about the Levites.\n\n747\n00:32:58.400 --> 00:32:58.880\n Yes.\n\n748\n00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:00.640\n And in the Bible book of Numbers,\n\n749\n00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:02.720\n there's this part where you know the Israelites\n\n750\n00:33:02.720 --> 00:33:05.360\n wandered around in the wilderness for 40 years\n\n751\n00:33:05.360 --> 00:33:07.440\n waiting to inhabit the Promised Land, right?\n\n752\n00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:10.079\n But they didn't get to because of their lack of faith.\n\n753\n00:33:10.079 --> 00:33:12.319\n And then finally, at one point,\n\n754\n00:33:12.319 --> 00:33:15.120\n they get to inhabit the Promised Land, right?\n\n755\n00:33:15.120 --> 00:33:18.160\n So the land gets divided into different sections\n\n756\n00:33:18.160 --> 00:33:19.279\n for each tribe.\n\n757\n00:33:20.160 --> 00:33:22.400\n But then it's the turn of the Levites\n\n758\n00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:23.920\n to like get their portion of land.\n\n759\n00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:25.600\n So imagine, right, they step to the front\n\n760\n00:33:25.600 --> 00:33:29.279\n like excited to hear which portion they get to inhabit\n\n761\n00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:30.559\n and then God says to them,\n\n762\n00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:34.079\n the Levites are not going to get a portion of land.\n\n763\n00:33:34.079 --> 00:33:35.599\n Now imagine, right?\n\n764\n00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:37.200\n You've been wandering for 40 years\n\n765\n00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:38.720\n and you get nothing.\n\n766\n00:33:38.720 --> 00:33:41.679\n And I think in a lot of areas of our lives,\n\n767\n00:33:41.679 --> 00:33:42.960\n we can feel this way.\n\n768\n00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:44.240\n There seems to be a hole.\n\n769\n00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:46.240\n It seems like we did not get a portion\n\n770\n00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:48.879\n when it comes to us growing up without a dad\n\n771\n00:33:48.879 --> 00:33:52.079\n and seeing all of your friends have a father figure.\n\n772\n00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:55.839\n It seems like you were left out, you were cut short\n\n773\n00:33:55.839 --> 00:33:57.519\n or something else for me was that.\n\n774\n00:33:57.519 --> 00:33:59.039\n I've never been in a relationship.\n\n775\n00:33:59.039 --> 00:34:00.000\n I've never had a boyfriend.\n\n776\n00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:02.400\n So I could see all these holes\n\n777\n00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:04.640\n that other people had something in it.\n\n778\n00:34:04.640 --> 00:34:08.880\n I did not, but what happens in this story\n\n779\n00:34:08.880 --> 00:34:11.599\n is that God says you don't get a portion of land,\n\n780\n00:34:11.599 --> 00:34:13.920\n but instead I'm your portion.\n\n781\n00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:18.480\n And A.W. Tozer says in his book, with that phrase,\n\n782\n00:34:18.480 --> 00:34:22.800\n God made the Levites richer than any other tribe\n\n783\n00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:25.639\n of the Israelites because that area\n\n784\n00:34:25.639 --> 00:34:28.199\n where you don't have a portion in the natural,\n\n785\n00:34:28.199 --> 00:34:31.639\n you get to cling onto God so much more.\n\n786\n00:34:31.639 --> 00:34:34.439\n And if hearing this, that God is your portion\n\n787\n00:34:34.439 --> 00:34:36.279\n in your area of not having a dad\n\n788\n00:34:36.279 --> 00:34:38.679\n or not having a partner, not having a mom,\n\n789\n00:34:38.679 --> 00:34:40.359\n if that doesn't have weight for you,\n\n790\n00:34:40.359 --> 00:34:42.639\n if you hear that and you're like, oh, whatever,\n\n791\n00:34:42.639 --> 00:34:44.599\n then you don't know who God is.\n\n792\n00:34:44.599 --> 00:34:47.119\n Because when you know that God is almighty God,\n\n793\n00:34:47.119 --> 00:34:50.679\n he created the heavens, the earth, everything.\n\n794\n00:34:50.679 --> 00:34:52.839\n And he gets to be your portion.\n\n795\n00:34:52.839 --> 00:34:54.639\n He gets to be your dad.\n\n796\n00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:55.480\n I want that.\n\n797\n00:34:55.480 --> 00:34:56.879\n Literally, I want that.\n\n798\n00:34:56.880 --> 00:34:59.720\n Then it's like, I'll take that portion, I'll be honored.\n\n799\n00:34:59.720 --> 00:35:03.000\n But what we do is that we have God as our portion\n\n800\n00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:06.039\n in these areas, but we keep looking\n\n801\n00:35:06.039 --> 00:35:07.960\n at other people's plates and thinking,\n\n802\n00:35:07.960 --> 00:35:09.680\n oh, but they have that, they have that.\n\n803\n00:35:09.680 --> 00:35:11.160\n And the Lord is just sitting there like,\n\n804\n00:35:11.160 --> 00:35:12.760\n if you would just come to me,\n\n805\n00:35:12.760 --> 00:35:14.160\n if you would just lean on me,\n\n806\n00:35:14.160 --> 00:35:17.640\n if you would just expect me to show up as your father,\n\n807\n00:35:17.640 --> 00:35:20.440\n he will, he absolutely will.\n\n808\n00:35:20.440 --> 00:35:23.760\n So yeah, it's just crazy that we've walked through\n\n809\n00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:27.320\n that, like all of us, that we can relate to that.\n\n810\n00:35:27.320 --> 00:35:29.560\n And I'm sure that many more women can,\n\n811\n00:35:29.560 --> 00:35:31.880\n guys, if you're tuning in, like, it's not easy,\n\n812\n00:35:31.880 --> 00:35:34.520\n but please know that God is your portion there.\n\n813\n00:35:34.520 --> 00:35:36.160\n You can cling to him so much more\n\n814\n00:35:36.160 --> 00:35:39.520\n than people might who have that in the natural,\n\n815\n00:35:39.520 --> 00:35:41.040\n if that makes sense.\n\n816\n00:35:41.040 --> 00:35:42.280\n It's really good, so yeah.\n\n817\n00:35:42.280 --> 00:35:44.440\n And the thing is God has good things to be.\n\n818\n00:35:44.440 --> 00:35:47.320\n Yeah, he is a good God.\n\n819\n00:35:47.320 --> 00:35:48.160\n Yeah, he is.\n\n820\n00:35:48.160 --> 00:35:51.640\n Time and time again, he is faithful to show up.\n\n821\n00:35:51.639 --> 00:35:53.719\n When you feel like you're at your end,\n\n822\n00:35:53.719 --> 00:35:56.440\n that's the beginning of what God's gonna stop moving.\n\n823\n00:35:56.440 --> 00:35:59.519\n Like, it's like laying yourself down,\n\n824\n00:35:59.519 --> 00:36:02.799\n being recognizing that you can't do this alone.\n\n825\n00:36:02.799 --> 00:36:03.639\n Yeah.\n\n826\n00:36:03.639 --> 00:36:06.319\n And saying, God, I need you.\n\n827\n00:36:06.319 --> 00:36:08.039\n I need you.\n\n828\n00:36:08.039 --> 00:36:09.639\n And he shows up.\n\n829\n00:36:09.639 --> 00:36:10.639\n Absolutely.\n\n830\n00:36:10.639 --> 00:36:11.719\n Yeah, he shows up.\n\n831\n00:36:11.719 --> 00:36:13.519\n Like a quote that comes to mind\n\n832\n00:36:13.519 --> 00:36:16.559\n that I clung to for a lot of time was,\n\n833\n00:36:17.559 --> 00:36:20.119\n the best plans and outcome of your life\n\n834\n00:36:20.119 --> 00:36:22.639\n that you can achieve in your own strength\n\n835\n00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:26.759\n do not even come close to what God has for you\n\n836\n00:36:26.759 --> 00:36:29.000\n when you let go and trust him.\n\n837\n00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:31.199\n Like, it doesn't even come close.\n\n838\n00:36:31.199 --> 00:36:33.199\n He has so much more for you.\n\n839\n00:36:33.199 --> 00:36:36.759\n It says in Ephesians 3.20 that God is able to do\n\n840\n00:36:36.759 --> 00:36:39.719\n above and beyond what we can ask, think or imagine.\n\n841\n00:36:39.719 --> 00:36:40.559\n Crazy.\n\n842\n00:36:40.559 --> 00:36:43.359\n Like, it doesn't, what God has doesn't even come to mind\n\n843\n00:36:43.359 --> 00:36:45.039\n if we sit and overthink right now.\n\n844\n00:36:45.039 --> 00:36:47.319\n Like, oh, in 10 years time, I'm gonna do this and this.\n\n845\n00:36:47.319 --> 00:36:49.319\n What God has doesn't even come close to that.\n\n846\n00:36:49.319 --> 00:36:50.079\n Right.\n\n847\n00:36:50.079 --> 00:36:52.480\n And for you also, like, with your life,\n\n848\n00:36:52.480 --> 00:36:56.279\n you left uni, you're thinking, okay, music is the plan.\n\n849\n00:36:56.279 --> 00:36:58.559\n So now, if your university version of you\n\n850\n00:36:58.559 --> 00:37:00.159\n could see what you're doing now,\n\n851\n00:37:00.159 --> 00:37:01.840\n it doesn't come close.\n\n852\n00:37:01.840 --> 00:37:03.679\n Like, first of all, how could I have done this\n\n853\n00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:04.519\n in my own strength?\n\n854\n00:37:04.519 --> 00:37:06.480\n Because there's no way I could have done this by myself.\n\n855\n00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:10.159\n But also, like, this plan, I did not even think of this.\n\n856\n00:37:10.159 --> 00:37:12.639\n Like, when you are uni, there's no way you would have thought,\n\n857\n00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:13.480\n you know what I'm gonna do?\n\n858\n00:37:13.480 --> 00:37:15.679\n I'm gonna become a faith-based contemporary art.\n\n859\n00:37:15.679 --> 00:37:17.119\n You know what, I'm just gonna do,\n\n860\n00:37:17.119 --> 00:37:19.119\n like that was not even a thought in your mind.\n\n861\n00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:20.719\n So, like, how did you even,\n\n862\n00:37:20.719 --> 00:37:24.759\n how did God even direct you from leaving uni,\n\n863\n00:37:24.759 --> 00:37:26.480\n like putting your faith in him, trusting him,\n\n864\n00:37:26.480 --> 00:37:30.359\n like, living for him and then to, like, get to where you are now?\n\n865\n00:37:30.359 --> 00:37:33.159\n Because how does one even get that, you know what I mean?\n\n866\n00:37:33.159 --> 00:37:34.440\n Like, how did God do that?\n\n867\n00:37:34.440 --> 00:37:35.279\n Yeah.\n\n868\n00:37:35.279 --> 00:37:36.119\n Good question.\n\n869\n00:37:36.119 --> 00:37:37.079\n That's such a good one.\n\n870\n00:37:37.079 --> 00:37:39.319\n Yeah, I definitely did not plan to do this.\n\n871\n00:37:39.319 --> 00:37:41.359\n And I wouldn't, if you would have asked me,\n\n872\n00:37:41.359 --> 00:37:45.239\n even five years ago, like, where are you gonna be in five years?\n\n873\n00:37:45.239 --> 00:37:47.159\n I would have never said here, ever.\n\n874\n00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:52.480\n It all started from that place where I hit rock bottom.\n\n875\n00:37:52.480 --> 00:37:55.119\n The Lord kind of challenged me to give him my all.\n\n876\n00:37:55.119 --> 00:37:57.039\n I did that, got a Bible.\n\n877\n00:37:57.039 --> 00:37:59.679\n I went on a social media fast at that time.\n\n878\n00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:02.920\n And it just became clear to me that, like, in terms of music,\n\n879\n00:38:02.920 --> 00:38:04.519\n that was kind of my trajectory.\n\n880\n00:38:04.519 --> 00:38:06.399\n I wanted to be a singer, I wanted to be a songwriter,\n\n881\n00:38:06.399 --> 00:38:07.599\n which is not a bad thing.\n\n882\n00:38:07.599 --> 00:38:09.679\n Like, that's a creative gift and talent\n\n883\n00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:12.239\n that the Lord has placed on my heart that has given me.\n\n884\n00:38:12.239 --> 00:38:16.559\n I enjoy doing that, but I saw that it wasn't I'd only my life,\n\n885\n00:38:16.559 --> 00:38:19.279\n which means that I wanted that way more\n\n886\n00:38:19.279 --> 00:38:21.599\n than I wanted a relationship with Jesus.\n\n887\n00:38:21.599 --> 00:38:24.199\n And that's where there's an issue, right?\n\n888\n00:38:25.119 --> 00:38:30.119\n So it was in that isolation period that music kind of,\n\n889\n00:38:31.599 --> 00:38:34.279\n for the first time, I was able to let it go,\n\n890\n00:38:34.279 --> 00:38:38.079\n because I saw it as it almost had me in a chokehold.\n\n891\n00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:40.880\n Like, every decision I made in life was like,\n\n892\n00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:42.279\n how do I get this music career?\n\n893\n00:38:42.279 --> 00:38:43.599\n How do I meet the right people?\n\n894\n00:38:43.599 --> 00:38:45.320\n How do I get in the room?\n\n895\n00:38:45.320 --> 00:38:46.600\n How was controlled by it?\n\n896\n00:38:46.600 --> 00:38:47.880\n I wasn't free.\n\n897\n00:38:47.880 --> 00:38:50.680\n And we serve a God who's in the business of our freedom.\n\n898\n00:38:50.680 --> 00:38:54.280\n So as soon as something controls us, the Lord is like,\n\n899\n00:38:54.280 --> 00:38:55.960\n okay, we need to strip that down,\n\n900\n00:38:55.960 --> 00:38:58.160\n not because God doesn't want you to have it,\n\n901\n00:38:58.160 --> 00:39:01.080\n but he does not want you to be controlled by it.\n\n902\n00:39:01.080 --> 00:39:02.320\n Yeah.\n\n903\n00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:07.320\n So in that rock bottom place, in that isolation season,\n\n904\n00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:12.120\n spending time with Jesus is just something else.\n\n905\n00:39:12.120 --> 00:39:14.559\n Like just spending time in the presence of the Lord,\n\n906\n00:39:14.559 --> 00:39:16.559\n everything else fades away.\n\n907\n00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:20.320\n You experience a love that you've never experienced before.\n\n908\n00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:22.199\n Things start to change.\n\n909\n00:39:22.199 --> 00:39:25.960\n It's so hard to explain, but again, Matthew 6 verse 33,\n\n910\n00:39:25.960 --> 00:39:28.679\n like just focus on the Lord.\n\n911\n00:39:28.679 --> 00:39:32.199\n And from that place, opening the Bible,\n\n912\n00:39:32.199 --> 00:39:33.679\n starting to read the word again,\n\n913\n00:39:33.679 --> 00:39:35.639\n you know, I'd heard all these Bible stories\n\n914\n00:39:35.639 --> 00:39:38.799\n in like Sunday school and I'd read the Bible every now and again,\n\n915\n00:39:38.799 --> 00:39:41.599\n but I just read it through such a different lens,\n\n916\n00:39:41.599 --> 00:39:43.239\n like it all came to life.\n\n917\n00:39:43.240 --> 00:39:44.880\n And I was like, this book is not boring.\n\n918\n00:39:44.880 --> 00:39:46.960\n Like for the longest time, I didn't want to read the Bible\n\n919\n00:39:46.960 --> 00:39:48.400\n because I was like, oh, this is so boring.\n\n920\n00:39:48.400 --> 00:39:50.600\n When you read through it, where is it boring?\n\n921\n00:39:50.600 --> 00:39:52.920\n There's like, mad stories happening here.\n\n922\n00:39:52.920 --> 00:39:54.960\n Like crazy things.\n\n923\n00:39:54.960 --> 00:39:59.440\n So it came to life to me so much that I was like,\n\n924\n00:39:59.440 --> 00:40:01.520\n I need other people to know this\n\n925\n00:40:01.520 --> 00:40:04.800\n because I knew so many people who were in the same situation\n\n926\n00:40:04.800 --> 00:40:09.240\n as me just like endlessly scrolling on social media\n\n927\n00:40:09.240 --> 00:40:12.560\n and living this like lukewarm Christian life,\n\n928\n00:40:12.559 --> 00:40:17.159\n which withholds you from experiencing the fullness\n\n929\n00:40:17.159 --> 00:40:19.079\n that God wants you to experience.\n\n930\n00:40:19.079 --> 00:40:21.159\n So in a way, we're just setting ourselves up\n\n931\n00:40:21.159 --> 00:40:24.559\n when we live a lukewarm life, right?\n\n932\n00:40:24.559 --> 00:40:28.639\n So I was, I think my cup was overflowing so much\n\n933\n00:40:28.639 --> 00:40:30.559\n from spending time with Jesus that I was like,\n\n934\n00:40:30.559 --> 00:40:32.119\n I need other people to know this.\n\n935\n00:40:32.119 --> 00:40:34.559\n I need other people to hear scripture.\n\n936\n00:40:34.559 --> 00:40:39.679\n And my thought process was if people don't want to open the Bible,\n\n937\n00:40:39.679 --> 00:40:42.599\n I will go onto social media and give the Bible to them.\n\n938\n00:40:42.599 --> 00:40:44.839\n Like, I'll start reading Bible's scripture as well.\n\n939\n00:40:44.839 --> 00:40:46.839\n So I went on to TikTok literally\n\n940\n00:40:46.839 --> 00:40:48.679\n and I just like opened the Bible and I was like,\n\n941\n00:40:48.679 --> 00:40:50.359\n guys, today I read this Bible first.\n\n942\n00:40:50.359 --> 00:40:52.759\n Like when I look back on it, it was so simple\n\n943\n00:40:52.759 --> 00:40:57.759\n and so like a little cringe, but somehow God worked with it\n\n944\n00:40:57.759 --> 00:41:01.199\n and I never had this thought of like,\n\n945\n00:41:01.199 --> 00:41:03.000\n it wasn't this crazy revelation of like,\n\n946\n00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:05.759\n to go on social media and like, I'm gonna use you to,\n\n947\n00:41:05.759 --> 00:41:07.119\n it was none of that.\n\n948\n00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:09.880\n It was just from the overflow of spending time with God\n\n949\n00:41:09.880 --> 00:41:12.519\n that I was like, I just want to share this right now.\n\n950\n00:41:12.519 --> 00:41:13.960\n I can't keep this to myself.\n\n951\n00:41:13.960 --> 00:41:16.839\n I want other people to experience what I've experienced.\n\n952\n00:41:16.839 --> 00:41:19.639\n A shift, there's so much more for us.\n\n953\n00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:22.559\n So from that, I just went, yeah,\n\n954\n00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:24.480\n I just shared the word on TikTok\n\n955\n00:41:24.480 --> 00:41:27.239\n and then slowly but surely people were asking\n\n956\n00:41:27.239 --> 00:41:28.679\n for longer form content.\n\n957\n00:41:28.679 --> 00:41:32.119\n Like, oh, can you talk about this for like 10 minutes?\n\n958\n00:41:32.119 --> 00:41:36.279\n And I remember that I was thinking,\n\n959\n00:41:36.279 --> 00:41:38.639\n oh, I don't think I'll be able to talk\n\n960\n00:41:38.639 --> 00:41:39.759\n about these things for longer.\n\n961\n00:41:39.759 --> 00:41:41.039\n Like, you know, on TikTok back then,\n\n962\n00:41:41.039 --> 00:41:43.559\n you could only do three minute videos.\n\n963\n00:41:43.559 --> 00:41:45.079\n I was like, no, three minutes is enough.\n\n964\n00:41:45.079 --> 00:41:47.279\n Like, who am I to speak into these things longer?\n\n965\n00:41:47.279 --> 00:41:50.000\n And I do think that was maybe some spiritual warfare\n\n966\n00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:53.480\n from the enemy to keep me from doing this on YouTube\n\n967\n00:41:53.480 --> 00:41:56.799\n because now YouTube has way overtaken\n\n968\n00:41:56.799 --> 00:41:59.839\n the amount of people that are tuned into my TikTok account.\n\n969\n00:41:59.880 --> 00:42:02.240\n So like, YouTube is now the biggest platform\n\n970\n00:42:02.240 --> 00:42:03.800\n that I get to steward.\n\n971\n00:42:03.800 --> 00:42:05.960\n And just looking at how it grew,\n\n972\n00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:08.760\n I literally can't take credit.\n\n973\n00:42:08.760 --> 00:42:10.320\n I don't know how it happened.\n\n974\n00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:13.320\n It all just stemmed from, I want to share\n\n975\n00:42:13.320 --> 00:42:15.600\n what God has done in my life with other people.\n\n976\n00:42:15.600 --> 00:42:17.320\n I need more people to open their word.\n\n977\n00:42:17.320 --> 00:42:19.519\n Like, get into the Bible, just spend time with Jesus.\n\n978\n00:42:19.519 --> 00:42:20.920\n There's nothing like it.\n\n979\n00:42:20.920 --> 00:42:24.000\n And there's this song, I think it's by Maverick City.\n\n980\n00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:25.920\n There's a line in it that says,\n\n981\n00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:30.400\n what's every other option when I know the sweeter sound?\n\n982\n00:42:30.400 --> 00:42:33.240\n When you spend time in the quiet place\n\n983\n00:42:33.240 --> 00:42:36.000\n and you just experience what it's like to be with Jesus,\n\n984\n00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:38.840\n everything else becomes so like, man.\n\n985\n00:42:38.840 --> 00:42:41.360\n Like, of course, life, we get to enjoy this life,\n\n986\n00:42:41.360 --> 00:42:43.440\n but there's nothing like it.\n\n987\n00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:45.159\n So I just wanted other people to know that.\n\n988\n00:42:45.159 --> 00:42:48.880\n And also, like we kind of mentioned at the beginning,\n\n989\n00:42:48.880 --> 00:42:52.000\n I wanted people to know that they, but they're not alone\n\n990\n00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:54.119\n because I felt alone for so long.\n\n991\n00:42:54.119 --> 00:42:57.759\n And I felt like I was never going to reach anything\n\n992\n00:42:57.759 --> 00:42:59.559\n because I got bullied and I didn't have a dad\n\n993\n00:42:59.559 --> 00:43:01.000\n and I've never been in a relationship.\n\n994\n00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:02.359\n I felt like there was something wrong\n\n995\n00:43:02.359 --> 00:43:04.599\n with me in so many different areas.\n\n996\n00:43:04.599 --> 00:43:08.519\n I just wanted people to know, like, look, I've gone through that.\n\n997\n00:43:08.519 --> 00:43:11.239\n And I've now found this joy in Christ.\n\n998\n00:43:11.239 --> 00:43:14.759\n And also, all of the parts of my testimony\n\n999\n00:43:14.759 --> 00:43:18.440\n that I tried to pray away when I was younger,\n\n1000\n00:43:19.480 --> 00:43:21.079\n the things I just mentioned,\n\n1001\n00:43:21.079 --> 00:43:24.319\n I can now see how those are like strong points\n\n1002\n00:43:24.319 --> 00:43:26.599\n in my testimony, those are actually the points\n\n1003\n00:43:26.599 --> 00:43:29.480\n that have kind of launched me forward.\n\n1004\n00:43:29.480 --> 00:43:33.360\n So that's how it all started on social media.\n\n1005\n00:43:33.360 --> 00:43:34.679\n Wow.\n\n1006\n00:43:34.679 --> 00:43:36.199\n Wow.\n\n1007\n00:43:36.199 --> 00:43:40.239\n God is just so obviously easy.\n\n1008\n00:43:41.440 --> 00:43:43.559\n And I actually really love like,\n\n1009\n00:43:43.559 --> 00:43:46.759\n you're like Faith Talk series that you do on YouTube\n\n1010\n00:43:46.759 --> 00:43:47.719\n every Sunday.\n\n1011\n00:43:47.720 --> 00:43:52.040\n It's so cool to just see like somebody just unpacking\n\n1012\n00:43:52.040 --> 00:43:54.120\n like what God is doing in them\n\n1013\n00:43:54.120 --> 00:43:56.960\n and like how they read through like the lens of scripture.\n\n1014\n00:43:56.960 --> 00:43:59.560\n But it also like almost gives people permission\n\n1015\n00:43:59.560 --> 00:44:01.000\n to do the same.\n\n1016\n00:44:01.000 --> 00:44:04.040\n You know, I think what we do on social media,\n\n1017\n00:44:04.040 --> 00:44:06.200\n it's so powerful in so many different ways\n\n1018\n00:44:06.200 --> 00:44:08.240\n but it gives people permission.\n\n1019\n00:44:08.240 --> 00:44:10.880\n And I think when you see somebody else doing it,\n\n1020\n00:44:10.880 --> 00:44:12.720\n I don't know, it gives you that inspiration\n\n1021\n00:44:12.720 --> 00:44:13.760\n to try it yourself.\n\n1022\n00:44:13.760 --> 00:44:17.080\n Like, oh, maybe I could buy a Bible and like read it.\n\n1023\n00:44:17.079 --> 00:44:21.039\n Like maybe I could go to church and like make friends\n\n1024\n00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:24.119\n with other people, like maybe I could do that.\n\n1025\n00:44:24.119 --> 00:44:26.519\n I think there's so much power in sharing your story\n\n1026\n00:44:26.519 --> 00:44:28.360\n and showing what God is doing with you online\n\n1027\n00:44:28.360 --> 00:44:30.679\n because you just don't know who's watching\n\n1028\n00:44:30.679 --> 00:44:34.119\n and who needs it and over time and time.\n\n1029\n00:44:34.119 --> 00:44:36.119\n Like, I'm sure you've had so many testimonies\n\n1030\n00:44:36.119 --> 00:44:38.400\n of people being like, hey, I watched your video\n\n1031\n00:44:38.400 --> 00:44:41.639\n and like I encountered God or like I watched your video now.\n\n1032\n00:44:41.639 --> 00:44:44.119\n I'm in church and it's like one honor to be used\n\n1033\n00:44:44.119 --> 00:44:45.639\n by God to like help people.\n\n1034\n00:44:45.639 --> 00:44:46.960\n Yeah.\n\n1035\n00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:48.360\n Yeah, that's just incredible.\n\n1036\n00:44:48.360 --> 00:44:50.400\n I love that that's what God's doing in you.\n\n1037\n00:44:50.400 --> 00:44:51.240\n It's crazy.\n\n1038\n00:44:51.240 --> 00:44:52.079\n It's crazy.\n\n1039\n00:44:52.079 --> 00:44:54.519\n It's so surreal when you say it that way,\n\n1040\n00:44:54.519 --> 00:44:57.639\n like we get to be instruments used by God,\n\n1041\n00:44:57.639 --> 00:44:58.639\n like vessels, right?\n\n1042\n00:44:58.639 --> 00:45:01.599\n I kind of see it as more of a pipeline,\n\n1043\n00:45:01.599 --> 00:45:04.440\n like because we get to experience the joy\n\n1044\n00:45:04.440 --> 00:45:07.039\n and the overflow of like doing something\n\n1045\n00:45:07.039 --> 00:45:08.840\n that's bigger than ourselves.\n\n1046\n00:45:08.840 --> 00:45:11.199\n It's also to bless other people.\n\n1047\n00:45:11.199 --> 00:45:14.840\n And I just constantly think about like how do you actually\n\n1048\n00:45:14.840 --> 00:45:15.720\n get started?\n\n1049\n00:45:15.720 --> 00:45:19.000\n How do you, like I'm scared to put myself out there?\n\n1050\n00:45:19.000 --> 00:45:22.960\n And I think us not doing what God has placed\n\n1051\n00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:26.440\n on our hearts to do is also withholding other people\n\n1052\n00:45:26.440 --> 00:45:27.440\n from being blessed.\n\n1053\n00:45:27.440 --> 00:45:30.000\n Like I just think what if we never started\n\n1054\n00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:32.600\n than all of the testimonies that we get to hear now\n\n1055\n00:45:32.600 --> 00:45:35.720\n of people feeling seen and like being encouraged?\n\n1056\n00:45:35.720 --> 00:45:37.519\n They would have not been here.\n\n1057\n00:45:37.519 --> 00:45:39.880\n It's like what Mordecai says to Esther\n\n1058\n00:45:39.880 --> 00:45:42.920\n and Esther 4 verse 14, perhaps you've been called\n\n1059\n00:45:42.920 --> 00:45:44.600\n for such a time as this.\n\n1060\n00:45:44.599 --> 00:45:46.199\n And then before that he says,\n\n1061\n00:45:46.199 --> 00:45:49.000\n if you don't want to step up and do this thing,\n\n1062\n00:45:49.000 --> 00:45:50.799\n God will use someone else, right?\n\n1063\n00:45:50.799 --> 00:45:52.679\n He will still deliver the Jews.\n\n1064\n00:45:52.679 --> 00:45:54.639\n He will still do what he has to do.\n\n1065\n00:45:54.639 --> 00:45:57.519\n But what a, like it's just so sad\n\n1066\n00:45:57.519 --> 00:46:00.839\n if we missed out on everything that we get to be a part of\n\n1067\n00:46:00.839 --> 00:46:03.119\n because we let fear get the best of us.\n\n1068\n00:46:03.119 --> 00:46:05.559\n So I guess that's just to encourage someone\n\n1069\n00:46:05.559 --> 00:46:08.400\n who is looking to start and maybe you're scared.\n\n1070\n00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:10.839\n Like fear is not from the Lord.\n\n1071\n00:46:10.839 --> 00:46:12.719\n You've not been given a spirit of fear\n\n1072\n00:46:12.720 --> 00:46:16.160\n and there's so much attached to you being obedient\n\n1073\n00:46:16.160 --> 00:46:18.600\n to what God has placed within you.\n\n1074\n00:46:18.600 --> 00:46:20.280\n It's not just for you.\n\n1075\n00:46:20.280 --> 00:46:23.640\n Yeah, perfect love drives out all fear, the men.\n\n1076\n00:46:23.640 --> 00:46:26.680\n And you know, our stories aren't actually just\n\n1077\n00:46:26.680 --> 00:46:31.120\n for our greater good, but it's also for other people\n\n1078\n00:46:31.120 --> 00:46:34.560\n like you're saying, you know, there's people\n\n1079\n00:46:34.560 --> 00:46:36.640\n on the opposite end of our obedience saying,\n\n1080\n00:46:36.640 --> 00:46:39.320\n yes, okay, I'm gonna like be bold and courageous\n\n1081\n00:46:39.320 --> 00:46:41.519\n and step into what I feel like.\n\n1082\n00:46:41.519 --> 00:46:43.360\n God's really pressed on my heart.\n\n1083\n00:46:43.360 --> 00:46:45.440\n Maybe just like giving it a shot, you know,\n\n1084\n00:46:45.440 --> 00:46:47.240\n you're losing out on nothing at all,\n\n1085\n00:46:47.240 --> 00:46:50.280\n except an experience and trying things and learning\n\n1086\n00:46:50.280 --> 00:46:52.840\n and growing and that's what life is all about.\n\n1087\n00:46:52.840 --> 00:46:53.680\n Amen.\n\n1088\n00:46:53.680 --> 00:46:56.600\n And there's no like linear, this is how you should do.\n\n1089\n00:46:56.600 --> 00:46:58.360\n This is what you should do.\n\n1090\n00:46:58.360 --> 00:47:00.640\n But like it's just like a journey with the Lord\n\n1091\n00:47:00.640 --> 00:47:03.640\n and it's an adventure and it's a privilege to be able to like\n\n1092\n00:47:03.640 --> 00:47:07.240\n have such a good God and want to lead us and guide us\n\n1093\n00:47:07.240 --> 00:47:11.360\n through a wonderful journey of figuring ourselves out\n\n1094\n00:47:11.360 --> 00:47:13.680\n and learning who we are and getting to bless\n\n1095\n00:47:13.680 --> 00:47:17.080\n and love others on the way, you know, that's it.\n\n1096\n00:47:17.080 --> 00:47:19.640\n And I also think like comparison's such a big thing.\n\n1097\n00:47:19.640 --> 00:47:23.120\n Like let's not like social media is a constant comparison\n\n1098\n00:47:23.120 --> 00:47:25.080\n real like you see this person doing it,\n\n1099\n00:47:25.080 --> 00:47:26.520\n this person doing it, this person testimony,\n\n1100\n00:47:26.520 --> 00:47:28.600\n that person testimony, this person's content,\n\n1101\n00:47:28.600 --> 00:47:30.840\n that person's content, this ministry, that ministry,\n\n1102\n00:47:30.840 --> 00:47:33.440\n you're like, I'm not doing any of that.\n\n1103\n00:47:33.440 --> 00:47:35.440\n But my testimony doesn't sound like that.\n\n1104\n00:47:35.440 --> 00:47:37.119\n My testimony sounds so boring.\n\n1105\n00:47:37.119 --> 00:47:38.599\n Why would you ever want me to talk?\n\n1106\n00:47:38.599 --> 00:47:39.559\n Why would you want to use me?\n\n1107\n00:47:39.559 --> 00:47:44.320\n And I think sometimes we can disqualify ourselves\n\n1108\n00:47:44.320 --> 00:47:46.880\n from being used by God because we think God\n\n1109\n00:47:46.880 --> 00:47:48.880\n has to use a certain type of person\n\n1110\n00:47:48.880 --> 00:47:52.240\n or only a certain type of story is going to connect to people.\n\n1111\n00:47:52.240 --> 00:47:54.240\n We all have a testimony.\n\n1112\n00:47:54.240 --> 00:47:56.800\n We all started from somewhere and God picked us up\n\n1113\n00:47:56.800 --> 00:47:58.119\n and took us somewhere else.\n\n1114\n00:47:58.119 --> 00:48:02.679\n No testimony is more undervalued than another testimony.\n\n1115\n00:48:02.679 --> 00:48:05.039\n Difference is actually so powerful.\n\n1116\n00:48:05.039 --> 00:48:07.319\n Because all our testimonies are different.\n\n1117\n00:48:07.319 --> 00:48:10.679\n Hey, wow, God uses different people in different ways\n\n1118\n00:48:10.679 --> 00:48:12.199\n to connect with different people\n\n1119\n00:48:12.199 --> 00:48:14.119\n to bring the gospel to their context.\n\n1120\n00:48:14.119 --> 00:48:16.480\n And so maybe your testimony doesn't look like\n\n1121\n00:48:16.480 --> 00:48:19.119\n this next person or that next person, but that's good.\n\n1122\n00:48:19.119 --> 00:48:20.879\n Because God wants to use you in a way\n\n1123\n00:48:20.879 --> 00:48:22.719\n that he's not using other people.\n\n1124\n00:48:22.719 --> 00:48:26.399\n And so like 100% echo everything you guys have said,\n\n1125\n00:48:26.399 --> 00:48:30.000\n but just to encourage, don't compare yourself to other people.\n\n1126\n00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:32.359\n And in sharing your story, just share what God\n\n1127\n00:48:32.360 --> 00:48:33.320\n has done in your life.\n\n1128\n00:48:33.320 --> 00:48:34.960\n Share it with authenticity.\n\n1129\n00:48:34.960 --> 00:48:37.960\n Share it with a bold vulnerability, but just share it.\n\n1130\n00:48:37.960 --> 00:48:40.960\n Because you just don't know who God's going to reach.\n\n1131\n00:48:40.960 --> 00:48:43.400\n Who God's going to use you to reach out to you.\n\n1132\n00:48:43.400 --> 00:48:45.440\n And I think that's so evident with you\n\n1133\n00:48:45.440 --> 00:48:49.200\n and the ministry that God is building through you to borrow us.\n\n1134\n00:48:49.200 --> 00:48:50.640\n So thank you.\n\n1135\n00:48:50.640 --> 00:48:52.280\n Thank you for sharing your story with us.\n\n1136\n00:48:52.280 --> 00:48:53.280\n Yes, thank you.\n\n1137\n00:48:53.280 --> 00:48:57.079\n And thank you for just giving God your yes.\n\n1138\n00:48:57.079 --> 00:48:59.680\n Your yes, like Michelle was saying, but your yes has power.\n\n1139\n00:48:59.680 --> 00:49:01.280\n And it's been helping so many people.\n\n1140\n00:49:01.280 --> 00:49:02.280\n So thank you.\n\n1141\n00:49:02.280 --> 00:49:03.720\n Thank you for having me, guys.\n\n1142\n00:49:03.720 --> 00:49:05.560\n It wasn't blessing to speak to you, girls.\n\n1143\n00:49:05.560 --> 00:49:06.400\n It was for you.\n\n1144\n00:49:06.400 --> 00:49:08.600\n And it was like a little key key.\n\n1145\n00:49:08.600 --> 00:49:09.640\n They loved it.\n\n1146\n00:49:09.640 --> 00:49:12.280\n And thank you guys for watching and listening\n\n1147\n00:49:12.280 --> 00:49:13.640\n to this conversation.\n\n1148\n00:49:13.640 --> 00:49:14.960\n Maybe there was something that was said\n\n1149\n00:49:14.960 --> 00:49:16.080\n that like really struck with you.\n\n1150\n00:49:16.080 --> 00:49:18.160\n We would love to hear your thoughts.\n\n1151\n00:49:18.160 --> 00:49:19.519\n So give us a little comment.\n\n1152\n00:49:19.519 --> 00:49:22.160\n However, you're listening to this podcast.\n\n1153\n00:49:22.160 --> 00:49:22.960\n And we'd love to hear.\n\n1154\n00:49:22.960 --> 00:49:25.600\n But guys, we will be back with more episodes of the way.\n\n1155\n00:49:25.600 --> 00:49:28.360\n More podcasts, more testimonies, more Bible studies\n\n1156\n00:49:28.360 --> 00:49:29.160\n coming your way.\n\n1157\n00:49:29.159 --> 00:49:30.879\n So subscribe, keep up to date.\n\n1158\n00:49:30.879 --> 00:49:32.679\n And we will see you in the next video.\n\n1159\n00:49:32.679 --> 00:49:33.480\n Bye guys.\n\n1160\n00:49:33.480 --> 00:49:34.319\n Yeah.\n","transcription_info":{"language":"en","language_probability":1,"duration":2974.3199999999997,"duration_after_vad":2974.3199999999997}}